Honestly, I think bipolar chicks get a bad rap. Every time some girl goes all fatal attraction and makes bunny stew, she gets labeled, “That crazy bipolar bitch.” What the hell? I would like to take a moment here and say that there is a difference between psychotic sociopaths and bipolar disorder.
Here’s a quick checklist to see if your girlfriend is bipolar or if you’re just dating your future stalker:
Does she sit up all night and stare at you while you sleep. Then when you catch her, she acts like it’s romantic and totally normal? That’s psychotic.
Does she stay up all night because she can never sleep, so she cleans the house at 3:00 in the morning, cleans out the gutters and cooks a hundred different kinds of cookies before you even wake up? That’s bipolar.
Does she turn up in the oddest places? Like outside your gym, at your friend’s houses, your office … even though you never told her where any of these places are? Then leave a stuffed animal with it’s little furry chest slashed open and a note that reads, “Hi baby, this is what I would feel like if you ever left me. Kisses!” That’s psychotic.
Does she disappear on you and friends for weeks at a time, claiming to be busy with work or school but really she’s too depressed to leave her house? Only to reappear hyper, talkative and the life of the party? That’s bipolar.
Does she have violent tendencies? Throw things, hit you, push you, slap you? Again, psychotic.
Another thing to look for is that bipolar people are usually pretty creative, artsy types. Psychos on the other hand are usually to busy pretending to be normal that they don’t have the time or energy to be artistic. However the artist in them will shine through when coming up with terrifying yet creative ways to stalk you and/or scare your friends.
Does she cause scenes in public?
Sleep around when she’s bored with life?
Is she the best sex you’ve ever had?
Does she make you feel like you’re the only person on the planet?
Well that’s a toss up. Because bipolar and psycho chicks are both amazing in bed and can hoe it up with the best of them.
Not to mention they can both be quite the drama queen. To further complicate matters both have an uncanny ability to make the one they’re with feel as if time stands still just for them. I’m not sure why but I have a working hypothesis. I think that that they are such forces of nature, so full of self-created importance and drama that they create a sort of force field around themselves, like gravity. When you’re tied to them emotionally or sexually, you get pulled into their orbit and it starts to feel like you two are the only two objects in the universe. It’s intoxicating until it’s smothering and you’re grasping for air, racking your brain for a memory of the last time you felt normal. Then you realize you haven’t felt normal since before she came into your life.
So there you have it, while it’s true that crazy chicks make for great sex. There are different types of crazy. Some types make them eccentric, artistic, brilliant, moody and difficult. But the other type makes them scary, hazardous to your future love life (because they tend to pop out of closets when you least expect it, even though you could have sworn you changed the locks) and just down right creepy. Face it ladies, no matter how good crazy sex is, it’s just not worth it.
If not for yourself, think of all the innocent teddy bears out there. Really, it’s only funny till it’s taped to your windshield.
Tags: bipolar disorder · lesbian · psychotic · sociopath4 Comments
4 responses so far ↓
“Does she cause scenes in public?
Sleep around when she’s bored with life?
Is she the best sex you’ve ever had?
Does she make you feel like you’re the only person on the planet?
Well that’s a toss up. Because bipolar and psycho chicks are both amazing in bed and can hoe it up with the best of them.”
Shit, so I still have no idea which one MY ex is… I vote to vote. All in favor that my ex is both bi-polar AND psychotic say I.
Just checking to see if the comment thingy worked. Got 2 reports it didn’t but I’m not sure what was wrong? … seems ok now.
In response to Maggie: I.
It wasn’t a teddy bear, it was a fucking koala bear because I know how much you want to go to Australia. I thought you would think it was funny. I wasn’t trying to make you mad.