Yesterday was my very first porn convention. I was lucky enough to be the date of my amazingly beautiful friend, Nica who runs Sweet Heart Video.
The adult entertainment industry is really a whole other world. As I carefully embark on what could be a new career field, working behind the scenes in “lesbian erotica” I feel as if I’ve just landed on this whole new planet and I’m the alien trying to fit in and figure everything out.
The world of porn is a strange industry to take part in. I’m sure plenty of people have plenty of judgmental things to say about it. I’m not here to defend anything …. it is what it is. There’s good and bad in everything, not just the sex industry so before any of you throw stones take a little internal inventory and see how honest you can be with yourself.
But I digress. My point being that this week made me think about a few things. One is that if I do end up working in this industry, in any capacity whatsoever … how will it affect my personal life? While I was on set, learning how to frame the shots of a particular scene I had this almost out of body experience for a moment. I mean, here I was standing not three feet away from two beautiful women having sex and my only concern was that they had their lines and watching to see how Nica kept them in frame.
I realized that it would be so easy to get even more jaded than I already am about sex. Believe me that’s not an easy thing to accomplish. Since I’m about as jaded as they come. But still, I suppose anythings possible.
Then I found myself doing something I’ve done my whole life. Compartmentalizing things. It’s not that hard. All you do is you find something that means something to you, in this case it was the idea of a loving, romantic relationship someday and I put it in a box and locked it safely away for later. Sort of like filing papers. Then you turn your attention back to the task at hand.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that unlike some people who think that working in the porn industry might hurt my personal relationships, I see it the other way around. To me, it just makes me appreciate true intimacy so much more than I did before. So whenever I find that girl, I know exactly where I filed away that special box and I’ll be happy to unlock it for the right woman. But till then, it’s safe and sound. Hidden away from all the, “Lights! Camera! Action!”
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its weird isn’t it. my brothers a photographer, and its weird how the image its self loses all value and it all turns in to trying to catch the image its self… its about how the lights make the image look if its at the right angle, the people are standing in the right place, or even if the person being captured is burning up under the intense heat being produced by all the equipment..
its hard i learned, but its worth every minute, just to get that just right shot…..