Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Last Friday I decided to celebrate our country’s independence by taking two of my closest, newly single gal pals to Ripples (Deborah’s on Fridays) to get trashed and lucky if we were lucky. Let me just say that nothing quite kicks off an evening of getting over your ex quite the same way as walking into a bar and within 5 minutes seeing two of your former flames with their new loves and then finding out that your most recent ex is en route to said bar.

Granted, I knew my ex was coming, we were never really together so we’re not really ex’s and we’re currently doing the whole friend thing again. But in my book, anyone that you used to sleep with but no longer do is an ex of some sort. So there.

Things only got better when my most recent ex-something or other showed up, friends in tow. Only to have my friends and her friends, not exactly meld into beautiful harmonies of “We are the world.” Nope. My friends are quickly gaining a well deserved reputation for being stand-offish not to mention that Maggie has made it plain as day that she does not like ex-something-or-other (ugh, that’s too long, let’s just call her Mr.)

The first time Maggie was introduced to Mr. she launched into an interrogation that Guantanamo bay has never seen the likes of. This was the second time the two have met, but being on somewhat neutral ground the claws on both women seemed to be retracted for the most part. Not to mention that Maggie’s considerable alcohol intake may have dulled her interrogation skills just a tad.

Overall, Ripples proved to be a very fun place once the night got going. Let’s recap: I got to give my ex a lap dance. I saw one of my ex’s ex’s. I also saw two women that I’ve had flings with hand in hand with the new love of their lives, smiled and congratulated everyone on their newfound bliss. Then quickly made my way back to my ex’s lap. Uh, go figure.

I got in a drunken yelling match with one of my best friends but she couldn’t remember it the next morning. I got pulled over several times that night but managed to sweet talk (uh em … cleavage) my way out of a ticket. …. and finally at 3:00 am, found my way home. I didn’t get drunk. I didn’t get laid. Yet somehow I had a great time

Tags:   Deborah's · lap dances · Ripples1 Comment