I am allergic to commitment. Well, maybe not commitment as much as monogamy. As most of you know, I am notorious for my short lived, albeit passionate dalliances. However, recently I’ve been trying something new. It’s called being an adult in an a mature and healthy relationship. We aren’t “together” yet, in the wear my letterman’s jacket kind of way. But we do seem to be headed down that very narrow path that leads to the inevitable “talk” where she asks, “So where do you see this going?”
Holy crap!!!
So far my only saving grace has been that she too seems to be as painfully gun shy of changing her myspace relationship status as I am. Throw in the little fact that she’s headed back to Iraq in a few months and we’ve got art imitating life in a few uncomfortable ways …. just call me Alice. (For anyone not of the lesbian persuasion, that’s an L Word, season 4 reference) But the harsh truth remains … one of the few girls I’ve met that could possibly tie me down, is headed off to war.
Am I supposed to commit to a woman who’s going to be gone for a year, when I’ve only known her for a few short months? As several friends said, “You can’t stay faithful to women you see every day, how are you supposed to do that for a whole year?!” Isn’t it lovely when you’re friends are brutally honest, at the top of their lungs while sitting on a bar stool at a crowded lesbian club? As if my blog isn’t repellent enough, let’s just scream out my faults for a live audience.
I do have a tendency to live by the motto” Absence makes the heart wonder.” Well, at least that’s the effect it seems to have on mine. I don’t know if something is utterly and terribly wrong with me at a core level, but if I don’t get enough attention, I lose interest. Gasp!! …. did a lesbian just admit to being an attention whore?!! Oh shut up! You know you are too, at least once in a while, we all are. I am when it comes to relationships. Maybe I’m just insecure. But at least I know my limitations. I need a lot of sex and a lot of attention. Or, I need a little of both from several admirers in a nice regular rotation.
Wow. Could I sound like a bigger bitch?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a cheater. If I do commit, I’m faithful. But up until that crucial point, all’s fair in love and war.
ps: I am a proud supporter of our men and women in the military and if I were to commit to one of our brave soldiers, I would be 1000000000% faithful to her while she was away. So please, no hate mail. At least not about this.
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5 responses so far ↓
be careful with that… dont worry about your self, TRUST ME its easy to stay faithful when NOT in the armed forces, not to be mean or anything but the army is not known for loyalty to the family or the happy house wife, trust me if she gos away, if she gos away YOU ARE NOT THE BIGist threat.. trust me when it comes to matters of sex, civilieans are not the ones who are going to cheat… ask around. as ex-air force, im telling you life gos ALOT faster in the army…… ALOT FASTER!!!!
You know me right? You know how I am in life and what I “need” out of my friendships…would you say I am “needy”? I wouldn’t, however when in a romantic relationship I am a needy bitch. If my woman isn’t with me when I need her to be someone else will be…there are too many people in this world (not to mention temptations) and at our age it is unrealistic to set yourself up for the kind of journey your suggesting here.
I know you right? I know how you are in your friendships and as much about you in relationships as I can…and this is not for you. Not because you don’t care, and not because you couldn’t physically be up for the challenge, but because there is no reason to. No good reason. And what Cecilia said below is something to think about.
If anything, remain in contact and “dating” but don’t commit before she shoves off to Iraq, that would be your most idiotic move to this day.
@Cecilia,
I’m getting the impression that lesbians are having orgies in the Army. In Iraq in the Army. Aren’t they busy trying not to get killed? And as for outside your fellow Armed forces compadres, I’m not so sure that there’s lesbian bars or lesbian prostitutes galore over there. Tell us about your experiences in the Air Force! Let’s hear it :). Do you have a blog where these stories are detailed out, by any chance?
I agree that the CardCarrying Lesbian shouldn’t make a commitment though.
And, I do believe it’s true about life moving faster when your own life is in jeaopardy. Just can’t see that there would be much opportunity for lesbians to hook up. But I’m willing to have an open mind about it if you’re willing to tell us about it.
You’re not a bitch, you’re a girl with needs. I am too. Let’s be honest, it’s pretty essential for us high-strung girls to get laid regularly and well….and this doesn’t exclude having a long-term monogamous relationship.
I used to be a real commitmentphobe, until I met the girl I am with now. But after time with her, if she wanted to leave for a year, I’d just buy myself a good vibrator and do my best until her return. She’s worth it, and maybe that’s just the decision.
Is she worth it? Be honest, because if she’s not, it will suck to break up with her while she’s away and possibly in harms way…might as well do it earlier. If she is worth it, my website is having a special discount on vibrators…so buy yourself something nice. Maybe a few of them.
i never thought of it but now i realize the army is the best place to be a lezzie