By Guest Butch, Raye

At first I was going to put this as a comment but it ended up being too long because this is a subject near and dear to my heart.  Sorry I am late to respond… I am sick in bed with some gawd awful stomach bug and have been for a few days now.  But I got on my girlfriend’s laptop because getting on my computer is very uncomfortable right now and Sasha texted me about this the other night so I didn’t want to wait too long.

Anyway, Young Butch you asked if you are a butch, there is not much I can add to the things that have been stated by the femmes who have (dare I say) been even more eloquent speaking about this than us.  So I will just say what I think about butch and you can decide for yourself if you agreed with me. It is very encouraging to see so many femmes that understand us so very well.  I am not sure I could say the same for myself about femmes.  The bottom line is that you decide if you are butch or femme or somewhere in between.  I am not PC about butch and what I am about to say is probably going to piss some people off (ha like that ever stops me from saying it).  I am a hardcore old school butchie.  And I do not believe that butch is JUST an energy.  Masculine is an energy and a femme can display masculine energies or traits. But butch is something else.

I do not believe you can be “butch” and wear heels and makeup with long hair.  I would classify a woman like that as a “hard femme” or possibly “tomboy”.  You can display butch qualities but a butch has the entire persona.  People can be all PC and cry foul about this but we have earned the term butch and have to endure the stares and disapproval for being “different”.  I am proud to be different not just to provide for my family but to stand out in society.  I am not scared to show that I am a butch and own it completely.  We cannot hide who we are and it would be disrespectful to those who have carried the term before us and DIED for it to say that butch is anything else. Sasha has displayed masculine traits in the past but is she butch? Nope.  My girlfriend will be the first to tell you that she has portrayed masculine traits and indeed been the “butch” in past relationships but is she a butch?  Nope.  In fact, she does not agree that a butch can wear heels or dresses either.  A butch in heels and a dress looks like a man in drag… uncomfortable and awkward.  And I can already hear the wah wah wah about gender binaries and all that bullshit but I have already made clear how I feel about all that.  There are only two different genders and all of fit somewhere on this spectrum like it or not.  I fall somewhere in the dead middle as a butch and I have a feeling you fit there too.  And that is ok regardless of what people try to tell you or how many people try to kick your ass.

I am a little curious as to why you don’t cut your hair though?  I mean it is perfectly fine if a butch wants to have long hair although it is not my preference (I am actually attracted to some butchies but oddly enough never to butchies with long hair.) nor is it my girlfriend’s but the length of your hair doesn’t make you femme any more than long hair on a man makes him a woman.  But sometimes cutting our hair off makes us own our persona a little easier.  This is not true for everyone but I know that when I finally cut mine off, I felt sexier and women began to climb all over me because now they could figure out what I was.  I also think some women have an attraction to women who are not scared to push the boundaries of what is accepted as normal in society.  It conveys a self-assured, secure personality that exudes strength and confidence.  Think of the scene where GI Jane buzzes off her hair in the movie.  This is not just an act, it is a political and personal statement of FUCK YOU to society and their rules for women.  You sound like one of those kind of women.  If you ask me, I will not be scared to say that you sound like an old school butch in my opinion.  Like I said, not everyone should be like us but then again not everyone should claim the label butch either.

I really think you should get out of the Caribbean though.  I know it is not gay friendly and you could be in grave danger.  But the first thing you need to do is stop trying to hurt yourself and realize that you should not internalize the desires of others to harm you for being different.  You should leave them to their own desires and desire to preserve your own safety realizing that you are not deserving of this kind of hatred.  Don’t be a danger to yourself because you already have enough problems.  I think some Americans ignorantly think that people in other areas of the world are dealing with the same type of bigotry and hatred that we deal with here.  Hell some of them don’t even realize the danger of being gay in rural areas vs. urban areas of THIS country.  And while violence is not the first course of action, it is justified when protecting yourself.  However, I would continue in your quest for Canada as this will probably lower your stress level to the point where you do not even act the way you do.  I think people forget that your environment has a huge effect on your mood and personality.  When I was living under the guise of being straight, I was violent and angry too.  Now I rarely ever display those behaviors if at all.

One more thing, if you do not feel that you are a man in the wrong body and feel comfortable being a butch, then don’t let anyone talk you into transitioning.  Some people really are transgendered but it is dangerous to lump all butches into that category though it can be a convincing argument at times.  It is totally ok to be neither male nor female.  We are a rare breed.  Be who you are and own it.  Above all, take care of yourself my friend.

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