It’s been a decade that we’ve been together. In all truth, you were a rebound. I had just broken up with a jerk and they paid my cell phone. You were my first sign of independence ….. I signed my own contract with you. It was special and romantic. You promised to take care of me and I promised to be faithful.
And faithful, I’ve been. Sure there have been temptations, but I never strayed. Until now. But really, it’s your fault that I’m leaving you for another. You made promises you never kept mean while another has been waving her sexy little ass in my face for years now!
I didn’t give into temptation right away. I’ve held out for years with the promise that you would bring her into our relationship. But you never made good on your promise. So this month on our 11 year anniversary, I’m leaving you. I’m leaving you for the iPhone 5.
No …. don’t bother trying to talk me out of it with your smooth talking ways. I’ve fallen for that before but not this time!
This time, it’s not me. It’s you.
Breaking up with your cell phone carrier can be a lot like breaking up with a girlfriend. Are you sure that what you’re leaving her for, will actually be better once you’re there? It’s a risk. Most people end up staying because they’d rather deal with the crappy relationship they’re in, rather then take a risk on the unknown. That goes for cell phones and women.
And like any good break up. It’s costing me money. My actual contract isn’t up till December. But I’m so miserable, I’m willing to pay them alimony just to get the fuck out. $150 to move my family plan over to a carrier that has my mistress, the iPhone. So ends the longest relationship of my life.
Bu I’m making the move because this lesbian needs a damn smart phone!!! Because my old phone has a really low IQ. And not just any smart phone will do. Do we all remember my iPad obsession? Yes …. I am brand loyal. Yes, I know there is a droid out there claiming she’s better then my baby. But I don’t care. Love is blind and I want what I want.
Also …. Apple is super gay …. OK, I may be reaching now.
I want to know from you, the reader what smart phone and carrier you have? Reviews? Information?? Come on, geek out with me. I spent last night accidentally memorizing overlay coverage maps of my area of the top 3 carriers. I can now tell you where all towers are for a 20 mile radius. Along with stats of the Samsung Galaxy 3 (which is what T-mobile is waving under my nose to stay) in comparison to all the iPhone stats. I’m talking down to millimeters. Please tell me I’m not the only one??