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“Hold on to my ears, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.”

The following are actual comments either said to me or by me:

“Wow, your tongues a lot longer than I thought!”

“Err … sorry I groped your girlfriend … is she mad at me?” (This one was told to my gf)

“Damn it! Just let go! I can’t get your pants off if you don’t let go!”

“Get your cold ass hands off my warm vagina!”

“Stick your tongue out! I want to measure it!”

“Please move your finger … no … the other one.”

“I got in a fight with your zipper and your zipper won.”

“Ron, please stop rubbing your face on our harness.”

“I’m feeling kinda weird … I might be a problem.”

“You have skinny fingers but you make up for it.”

“Damn you’re quick!” … “Yea, I’ve heard that one before!”

“Can somebody please remind me later tonight that I have a tampon up there.”

“Don’t move that way! You’re gonna break my wrist!”

“I’m sorry but my thumb just doesn’t bend that way.”

“Are you sure that’s gonna fit? …. Oh.”

“Please don’t cough when I’m down there. It’s just not safe.”

“I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome from dating you.”

“Wait. Don’t move. I’m about to lose my ring in there.”

“I’m sorry I snorted while going down on you.”

9 Responses to ““Hold on to my ears, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.””

  1. Anonymous October 22, 2008 at 2:33 am Permalink

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!! ……. I can’t pick just one…. what the hell are you doing to have these things said to you!!!???? wait. I can pretty much guess….. LOL.

  2. Just a Dyke October 22, 2008 at 3:29 am Permalink

    “Please move your finger … no … the other one.”!!!!!!!!! ROFL LOL LOL ….. Hhahahahaha

  3. Frankie October 22, 2008 at 4:48 am Permalink

    My personal favorite ‘“Are you sure that’s gonna fit? …. Oh.” …….. I can only day dream about what you weren’t sure was going to fit ;)

  4. springlady477 October 22, 2008 at 7:03 am Permalink

    LMAO! Oh my fucking gawd that gave me a good laugh at 8:00 in the morning! What’s even worse is I’ve actually had an ex tell me she thinks she got carpal tunnel from dating me. No shit! Too funny!

  5. TofuGirl October 22, 2008 at 12:40 pm Permalink

    My whole office reads your blog around my computer every day and today somebody spit coffee out of their nose onto my shoulder while reading your blog today. You are too funny, Sasha. Keep up the good work.

  6. Irish October 22, 2008 at 1:17 pm Permalink

    I have nothing to say…except…where is the “damn you’re quick” one?!

  7. Julie October 22, 2008 at 2:28 pm Permalink

    It’s not even funny how many of those I’ve heard/had said to me!!

  8. Cecilia October 22, 2008 at 7:45 pm Permalink

    yea you know i had to say something… LMAO!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I LOVE THAT YOUR A WRITER,!!! PLEASE “NEVER” STOP WRITING

  9. Party @ Joe's October 23, 2008 at 11:36 pm Permalink

    WHAT THE FUCK?!!!! Sasha, now we really ddo want to know how long your tongue is! Hold on, we’ll catch her and mesure it and leave another comment when we find out. We may be drunk.

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