By Guest Writer, Elegy

Find your voice. It’s a scary thought to some, I know. But what terrifies me the most is when your voice is comprised solely of whomever you’re dating or living with at the time. It’s disconcerting to say the least. You have no voice, you don’t even know who you are. How do you expect to live like this? You’re going to wake up, you’ll be withered and grey; and when you squint, finally able to see in the dusty mirror how much of life has passed you by, unlived.

There is something about you that people can’t help but notice. It’s probably not a bad thing, or a good thing- it just is. It’s something about you that you can’t help but hear- everywhere around you, someone you know has commented on it. Maybe it’s as obvious as you always wear red boots, or you squint a lot when you’re mauling something over.

I’m vaguely curious about what that thing is. I want to know if you’re ashamed of it; I want to know why. I want to know if you’re proud of it, indifferent to it- why? Why not?  I want to know why you don’t use it to your advantage. How you use it to your advantage.

I have a thing.



I have a few things. Some of them I never noticed, some of them I let float in and out of my conscious gaze. There’s my neck- apparently it’s long. More noticeably is the way I walk, everyone seems to comment on it at some point. I honestly am not quite sure how it is, I’d imagine it’s influenced from various styles of runway, either way it does not go unnoticed. I’m just walking, but apparently it’s more than that- there’s a draw to it, an allure.

There’s this other thing. Until early this year this thing had no name, and I may have even viewed it as some sort of flaw to polish, or discard all together at a later date. This thing is my tendency to come into someone’s life like a hurricane, and leave like a fox. I won’t hang out, I don’t want to talk. This isn’t a reflection on the company, but rather my own preference to be with my thoughts, to analyze and think on my experiences, and the energy exchanged. I used to apologize for this aloofness- sometimes I still find myself doing it. But now, now I’m seeing it with clarity; I’ve read about how this very trait is the reason why people have lusted after my company. If this is the case, it’s quite the powerful skill, why wouldn’t I hone it instead of letting it strike out haphazardly?

So I ask again: what is it about you that people notice? What obscure thing in your possession is significant to you? Do you like it? Can you use it? Maybe you’re already using it, and never noticed. When I realized that my obscure little thing was a weapon, I took a conscious step towards learning to wield it, and when to put it away.

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