I recently had a conversation with Remi about jealousy. It seems that I’m the more jealous one in this relationship. Which I hate with a passion. I’m not used to that! I used to hardly ever be jealous and when I was, I was able to hide it. Usually I hid it with little acts of vengeance. Like, “Oh you want to make me jealous?? ….. Well I’ll give YOU something to worry about, then you won’t have time to make me jealous!”
Yes, I was that petty and bitchy. But it worked. Well, it worked until now. Now, I never want to hurt Remi, so my old ways have fallen by the wayside and I haven’t figured out an appropriate replacement. How do I combat my jealousy when she’s the one going out every day into the world? She’s the one wearing the power suits, looking sexy as fuck and having the people under her fall for her? I mean really, it gets a little annoying to hear or see how people treat her. It’s hard on a girl’s ego to know your spouse is going out every day and getting hit on consistently, while I’m at home in my pajamas.
I guess part of my problem that I never had before, was that I was out there too. I was working outside the home and interacting with people too! So I guess I had equal opportunity to experience a little bit of that. Even if it was usually from men. 
But at least that approval made me feel like I wasn’t just this ugly blob at home in my striped pajamas.
But recently Remi admitted to me that she does get jealous, she just hides it better. She also told me that a butch or boi would be way more threatening to her then a femme. Because she knows I would never want a relationship with another femme, I would just want to sleep with them …… Ummmm???? Does that mean that I could get away with making out with a pretty femme? I think under the right circumstances, I could.
Which brings me to a recurring topic in our relationship ….. free passes.
I know this is a bad idea on every level. I don’t know if this means I’m getting manic or what? But ….. right now …. honestly …. I could totally go to a bar and pick up the most beautiful femme in there right now. Make out with her in a dark corner and then leave without so much as exchanging names.
BTW, I realized after reading this again that it might sound like I want to do something JUST to make Remi jealous. That is not the case …. If I’m brutally honest, it probably is partly true. I mean, it would be nice to know she is capable of getting jealous and that I’m not the only one. …. but in actuality, femmes dont make her jealous …. so ??? ….. Ugh …. I don’t know. Never mind. I have no idea what the real point of this blog was.
It sounds like you’re in a rambling stage, and you’ve got a lot to pull from. Why don’t you guys just role play?
Oh, and you can start writing and publishing some fiction pieces like you said you were thinking about!
huh..wow..i can relate. i feel like this frumpy housewife while Raye is totally hot & butched out in her chemical plant uniform. she gets flirted with while i wonder if i should go out and get some validation of my own. sometimes, i get little ideas to try and make her jealous but i never follow through with them. that’d be some hell in our relationship.
i hate being the jealous one!! it was never my style and I think it’s so friggin’ unattractive!! grrr!!
as far as a femme pass. not sure i’d tempt it. that’s like heteros saying eatin’ ain’t cheatin’. LOL! besides, she said “way more threatening” not that bois wouldn’t be threatened at all. right? am i reading too much into that. i don’t know…sounds like a ticket to be cautious LOL
The idea of taking a free femme pass in a dark corner, although it sounds hot as hell. Nah I wouldn’t do it. You and Remi are too good for each other. Break out some sex games. Strip for her. Serve her dinner in nothing but a tie and high heels. Take an hour or two to pamper yourself before she gets home. And be there just as she opens the door. “Hello Honey!”
Haha, I agree with Sarah re the hetero cheating sentiment.
—
Just because she’s LESS jealous, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be jealous period. And we’ve already established that she IS/DOES GET jealous. She’s just better at hiding it than you. ;P So what? Do you want her to show her jealous side more? Would that really help you?
You’re trying to get in trouble. Perhaps passive aggressively since you’re blogging about it, lol. =P I say find another outlet, like the fiction writing!
And I know it can be hard for you to get out there and show off, since you also have agoraphobia…. I’m not sure a healthy way around that, besides just getting out there anyway- maybe hiring a taxi driver.
My agoraphobia comes and goes ….. It’s usually present but when I feel like THIS, its a disappearing mirage in my rearview mirror.
However, having said that, Remi got home and read this blog …. We have been “discussing” it :/
She won’t post a comment, but I will say that she has let me know how wrong I was on several levels.
Ps Sarah and Elegy, Remi loved your comments. And I did too …
Elegy, I’m working on my Olivia story ….. Trying to figure out how to start a fiction section too …. Hmmmm?? Not sure how to go about that just yet …. Any that’s?
Yes, it sounds like you’re getting manic, if only because you’ve posted many, many times in the last few days.
Actually, you’ve touched on an interesting topic. Bois and butches get my heart started like whoa. But I’ll admit I’ve long held a fantasy of doing exactly what you said – finding some hot femme, er, um, making out with her, and then leaving. Same fantasy. I’ve always said femmes hold the same area of my mind that men did when I dated them – they never had a chance at my heart, so they brought out my power/domme fantasy side, which, when you’re feeling ubersexual (which happens when you’re manic – and no I’m not bipolar to the best of my knowledge), tends to come out more.
There’s a distance that happens when that comes about, a separation of emotions and sexuality which is both super hot to fantasize about, and can be scary if you really did it. A femme won’t make you jealous. A femme won’t touch your heart. A femme is just, for lack of better words, a sexual playtoy. And that’s part of why femmes don’t make Remi jealous.
I agree with someone above – channel this ubersexual side of you into your sex life with Remi. And girl, get out of the sweats. I don’t care if you don’t leave the house. But get out of the sweats. Wake up and take a shower, put on pretty clothes and makeup. Put on heels. And then vacuum and do whatever you’d normally do. But feel pretty in you.
i said those things out of love for your relationship, my dear
what is this fiction book y’all are goin’ on about?!?! i wanna read!!! LOL!
As a butch let me just say, we get jealous. (I know she doesn’t really like being classified as butch but we have a lot in common) Remi can’t help it that women hit on her or find her attractive. And she should not be expected to be presumptuously rude to women who might possibly be flirting with her to cater to your insecurities. That would make her unattractive and assholish and you don’t want that either. But the other women will not stand a chance if you keep being your sexy self and lovin up on her. She finds you sexy. If she didn’t she wouldn’t have married your fine ass. Tell me I am wrong Remi. I dare you.
Anyway you have no competition with a person like Remi. She does not turn her love for you off like a light switch and she is not shallow enough to dump you, the beautiful woman she loves, for the first broad that throws her cookies in her face… no matter the flavor. So relax. Dress up and be your sexy self knowing that she probably thinks all day about coming home to her hot femme. The more you obsess over it, the less attractive you make yourself.
@Raye – If this was facebook, I would “like” that comment so hard. Bravo and amen!
Rayes comment makes me want to go to a bar and be the woman I used to be.
@Sasha – define a bit more what you mean?
I mean …. Raye made me sound like a jealous nag! Or maybe I made myself sound like that and seeing it in her comment really bugged me…. I was going to say I don’t act as jealous as I feel …. But Remi would probably disagree with that.
I mean it’s not a daily occurrence. But even today,mwhen she got home I had to sit and listen to how some stranger hit on her and some girl at work hit on her again …… I bit my tongue. But seriously, it makes me want to go out and prove to her and maybe even to myself that I’ve still got it too. Remi gets validation on her looks and sex appeal every day. I wish she knew how it felt to have that thrown in my face 5 days a week.
So I guess I’m saying, I wish I could make her feel what she makes me feel all the time. But Raye makes it sound like I’m this pathetic, jealous nag. Which in turn made me even more want to go out prove a point. But I can’t and I won’t.
LOL!! i don’t mean to laugh! i really don’t, my friend! i know exactly how you feel!! i want to do the SAME thing for the SAME reasons. we’ve even gone out and she gets flirtatious stares right in front of me! Grrr! however, recently when we went out..i got some stares of my own.
and yes it felt good. and we were both laughing about the stares and i left thinking we’re both a couple of hotties. instead of my usual feeling of thinking she’s the only hottie.
it’s not about trying to make Remi an asshole. it’s about feeling like Sasha’s still got “it” like our bois get when they go out.
i’m not one to turn down casual flirting…ugh..if and when it happens! but, it hardly ever happens. it’s like wanting an unbiased opinion.
you think i’m hot because you’re my girlfriend. ya know?
yes..it’s foolish. it’s really a different type of jealousy. i think. it’s not so much the other girls or the fact that your trophy wife is getting hit on. it’s more like why aren’t I getting hit on?
at least that’s what i’ve gotten from this. and i think that’s where a lot of my own jealousy stems from. lol
The only one you need to prove a point to is yourself. A few months ago you and Remi decided to go out and do boxing together and start going out again to spice up your relationship. And then the bipolar got in the way and you stopped that. Perhaps it’s time to start it again – NOT to go flirt with lots of people or play tit for tat, but just to feel connected to people again and to socialize.
You’re right, there IS something to being appreciated by people outside of your relationship, even if you’re not in the least bit interested. But also remember that being hit on isn’t all its cracked up to be. There are many times people have hit on me where I’d happily put on an invisibility cloak so they wouldn’t see me.
You have an issue (agoraphobia) which has kept you at home a lot. You’re facing a lot of the same issues that stay at home moms face with their partners. Maybe do some reading on how they handle it to help you out?
Sasha – It sounds like you’re feeling “less-than” compared to Remi right now because of your very different situations and your lack of public consumption, right?
Maybe instead of you running out to prove how hot you are, she could back up and bite her tongue a bit. Just because people flirt with her doesn’t mean she needs to report every bit of it to you – that’s insensitive, especially given the fact that you’ve made it very clear that it makes you feel threatened, jealous and/or inferior.
Take some burden off of your sleepless shoulders and put it back where it belongs – on Remi. If she just can’t help herself, then she needs to find a healthier way to deal with her own insecurities (because the need to detail how often we are hit upon, really, at its core, comes from insecurity).
Take care of you (and ask the same of your wife!),
Natalie
Sarah M – you posted just as I was posting, so um let me say something. I have totally checked out bois and butches who’re walking with their femmes. No, it’s not because I am in the least bit interested in someone who is taken. It’s because I want to be recognized by my community…and wow, that’s sounding like the biggest load of bull, even to me.
Okay fine, bois and butches are sexy to me and I like to look at their partners so I can see who they choose and why and hey if they happened to be single one day, might I be interested or interesting to them…I should just shut up now lol.
But actually, most of them never even notice. Seriously. Then again, the single ones don’t either. Just the men notice me. Sigh.
Hmmm. On that point I say you have to be fair: to both of you.
It is unfair to yourself to bully yourself for feeling the way you feel. Emotions are irrational, explaining them many a time futile. Controlling them (emotional intelligence) aspirational. And in the end, it’s better to accept them for what they are, feelings. However strong, or fleeting. Tell yourself it’s okay to feel.
Then foster the emotions that say suck it up.
Because on the other hand it is equal parts unfair of you to hold Remi responsible for you feeling insecure*. She doesn’t /make/ you feel invalidated- your doing it to yourself! You’re listening to her day; and taking it upon yourself to project AND internalize your insecurities. It’s bullying yourself (why is no on else validating me) AND bullying her (she’s getting validated, and I’d prefer her to feel what I’m feeling instead- which not at all pleasant). You hypothesize going out and getting into trouble so she can feel insecure and unhappy as well? That’s not coming from a loving place! And it starts with YOU! You are hurting yourself, and when that isn’t enough on its own, you want to up the stakes by hurting yourself through hurting others. Don’t project it out and hurt yourself even more by hurting the ones you love, Sasha!
*Which I know is even more complicated when you factor in that Remi has positioned herself to be that very thing; the one who is responsible for your securities and emotional happiness. Which, when you guys are at your best is an amazing thing. But you need to get your own emotional fulfillment- something or things that is/are JUST YOU. That could take a world of pressure off. Learn to do some cool DIY projects, painting, sculpting, something artsy that brings you confidence. It is true, when you’re working you are being validated. But did you ever consider that you mistook the physical validation you were getting on your looks for the mental, emotional, and spiritual validation you were earning for yourself when you kicked ass and no one else could take those achievements away from you? Find something outside of your relationship that gives you that, again.
I mean, I know this isn’t a large part of you- it’s just the you that you’re highlighting in this blog. MOST of the time you talk about Remi, you’re proud and ecstatic that your wife is hot, and everyone knows it! You seem pleased about it, knowing that she’s coming home to you and you alone. Don’t you think she feels the same way?
I feel like this may be a little too harsh and personal… Maybe this should have been an e-mail? Oh, well. If you want it as a FB PM next time, let me know!
*
*Takes off her mama unicorn hat… for now.
LOL WWG! i didn’t say anything of that sort. that you’re interested in bois who are taken, i mean. i don’t care if a femme is interested in my boi or not. i’m with her. that’s not where the insecurity lies.
ha ha “It’s because I want to be recognized by my community…and wow, that’s sounding like the biggest load of bull, even to me.” and yes that sounds like a load of bull honky. but, i’ve done it before for that reason, i’ll admit!!
bois are sexy! we look! the issue is why aren’t they looking at me lol! sounds so childish! it’s just a different type of jealousy. i don’t think it has anything to do with other girls. i don’t even think it has anything to do with one partner coming home and bragging about being flirted with. it’s more of a how come I don’t have any stories like that to share. honestly, while the boi think it’s comical i’m like…damn…i got nothin’. boo
LOL!
i know what you mean. only men notice me. UGH! it’s very frustrating now when i never get hit on. and it was extremely frustrating when i was single.
“I wish she knew how it felt to have that (flirting) thrown in my face 5 days a week. ” That made me so sad to hear u are dealing with this. I really hope things get better. I know they will. Keep your head up my friend. Have a heart to heart and express to her where u are coming from and why. Have her read Natalie’s, Raye’s etc everyone’s comments and I bet she’s see it in a different light. I know she loves you very much.
those telling you to go find something that gives that achievement high. i sincerely think you should take them up on it.
i slacked off not going to the gym last week and these same feelings have sparked up with me.
i love my spin classes. i come home feeling so damn sexy i don’t care who thinks so or not. i KNOW so. thank goodness i have spin tomorrow evening LOL!
My current DIY project is studding the hell out of this new leather I’m getting.
I need to get another job, because I do admire you a lot and want to take belly dancing and gun shooting lessons. x3 <3!
Sarah: I know the feeling about the gym! I haven’t gone in so long! I’ve been such a shut in for various reasons. :/ Trying not to beat myself up over it…. What I love about working out is by the end of that hour plus, I felt no shame about my body. BITCH, I just worked the fuck out! Say something, I dare you! My body is a MACHINE and I just took it out for a spin, you can’t say nothin’! Haha, I got over my naked in public showering phobia real fast.
Well, not phobia, more aversion.
Damn it, why do I have to have such intelligient readers??
y’all are fucking bright and on point. I feel like I should be getting a bill in the mail for the therapy sessions.
Sarah, you my soul sista ans you expressed what I was trying to say 100000x better then I did.
Elegy, ouch. Ouchy. OWWW!! But points taken …… Grudgingly.
WWG, I totally get what you’re suing and that sounds like a future blog post.
Natalie,thank you. You’ and Sarah seemed to be the only ones that “got it” like I meant it. Although I’m sure I can learn something from more then a few of those other comments.
Jaz, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Remi is wonderful. It’s just that it is hard to listen to it Every day and NOT respond sometimes.
And Elegy …. LMFAO about your comment about working out!! I had a total metal image.
About my agoraphobia though …. It’s less of a phobia and more of an aversion
Elegy- i know right!!! it’s crazy! i was so scared of gyms at first. but, now i’m so hooked. my body is literally aching to go to class tomorrow! don’t beat yourself up over it. i have too. but don’t! you’ll get back on track. just consider it as a small break.
and YES!
“What I love about working out is by the end of that hour plus, I felt no shame about my body. BITCH, I just worked the fuck out! Say something, I dare you! My body is a MACHINE and I just took it out for a spin, you can’t say nothin’!”
EXACTLY!!!
lol i don’t take showers there for other reasons than modesty. i walk around with a little cleaning wipe to wipe down the equipment before and after i use them. i take my shower at home. lol germies!!!
I knooow. >.o I feel a bit err, awkward, but not sorry about that comment. It’s harsh, but hopefully you can pull a lot of helpful things from it, if only a differing point of view.
“About my agoraphobia though …. It’s less of a phobia and more of an aversion
”
LMAO. XD… Dying. Dead. I can’t say anything about that…. except I think I’m using this as a catch phrase from now on.
And I’m glad my work out comment got laughs- it’s true though. I don’t use the showers there for sanitation as well, but sometimes I just knew that if I didn’t take a shower while I was still able to walk, it wouldn’t be happening when I got home… and I needed it. XD
According to your fan club of commenters the solutions as I read from above and summarized (I write TONS of documented case studies for work so humor me on this I’m in the mood to summarize.) Recommend solution to the problem of flirting…”Do not wear sweet pants when she comes home” – yes girl no sweetpants omg unless they are skin tight and sexy as hell with the optional 5 inch heels. “Greet her daily wearing nothing but a tie and heels” – she will instantly forget anyone who even remotely flirted with her during the day and when they attempt to flirt she will be thinking WTF is that you should see how my wife flirts with me. You could “become a nonfiction writer”- hello I’ve read every word of CCL and I think you should write steamy nonfiction novels but omg please stop all the damn censoring of the hot women in the amazing photos you put with your writing
. You could “roll play”- yeah I’m not touching that suggestion hehe. Other choices include “relax”, “go to the bar”, “ramp up your sex life”-which omg I don’t see how that is possible 
from your CCL posts seems like you all are doing just fine, take WWG and Sarah to a bar and watch “men flirt with” them hehe – you all are too fun I agree same thing use to happen to me. Or my own personal suggestion….make a sign and hang it somewhere you will both see everyday-
(F) Forever
(L) Love
(I) In
(R) Real
(T) Time
And remember like mentioned by Raye, Sarah and almost all commenters above- Remi loves YOU. Remi choose YOU.
Hugs. Jaz
“what is this fiction book y’all are goin’ on about?!?! i wanna read!!! LOL!”
Oh, well a while ago (last year?) Sasha mentioned off hand that she could write fiction and we’d never know the difference (paraphrasing) and I thought then and still think now that her adding that element to her blog would be absolutely incredible.
Jaz, I loved that last comment. Thank you.
But for the record, I don’t wear sweat pants!!! I have a collection of striped, plaid or other “humorous” pajamas. It’s an ongoing joke at home. I do wear fun pajamas. But not fun in the crotchless way, fun in the haha way. …. Maybe I should switch it up.
On the up side, I do usually have makeup on when she gets home, if that helps at all. I mean I’m not a total slob.
Jaz- so not funny about the men hitting on femmes. *pout* it’s even happened to me a few times in a friggin’ girl bar. i was like really? REALLY????
wow! that’s some guts! to walk into a lesbian bar and hit on a LESBIAN! go figure! UGH! throwing up my hands in frustration just thinking about it! LOL!!!
btw thank you Elegy on letting me know about the fiction book. i’ll have to keep an eye out for it, now!!
LOL Sasha! i’m wearing my pink, grey & white striped pj’s!!!!
I made a vow to get rid of my “ugly” clothes. So even if I’m feeling mopey, at least I’ll look good while being comfy. I’m proud to say I only have one ugly pair of panties left, and I only wear them during TTotM. >.>… I’ll get rid of them…. eventually…..
Sarah I didnt mean anything bad
I just threw it my summary 
since u and WWG both mentioned it. Trust me that crap happens to me and I don’t like it- though lately it has not happened and several people at work (straight married coworkers) have been making a lot of random comments hinting that they think I’m gay – hummmm – so I guess I’m starting to show lol through my once “she MUST be straight” appearance. Very interesting since I’m beyond single. 
Sasha -WWG mentioned the sweatpants so I was worried you needed intense intervention. lol
@sarah M – Hahah! No really, I really do do it sometimes because I want to be acknowledged by my community. Oh hell, I’d rather get jealous looks from femmes than from straight women. At least I’d know I’m being read right for once! And no, not because I actually want to incite jealousy in any other couples, I just want to be seen as a lesbian. *sniff* Glad I’m not the only one!
Haha yeah, I know exactly what you’re saying about Sasha’s post is right. I always have said (and keep in mind my relationships have been with mostly men) that I wouldn’t mind if women flirted with my butch because afterall, whomever I choose would have to be amazing, and I’d get it that others would see that and respond to that too. But by the same token, I’d be upset if SHE responded to it.
Many years ago I had a boything (not quite a boyfriend) who I took to a friend’s party. He hit on every single one of my friends. Not cool. But then? He ignored me. Nuh uh. Dumped his ass that night. It’s really about how your partner responds to the attention than all the attention thrown at them. NOT saying anything about Remi here, just a general comment about relationships and jealousy.
And yeah, it sounds more like Sasha’s feeling restless and needing some outside stimulation. Am I off Sasha?
And um, if it’s more of an aversion than a phobia, perhaps it’s time to look into the reasons for the aversion and work on getting over it?
WWG – we notice. Trust me. It’s just speaking for myself, I try not to make eye contact too long out of respect for my partner. I am human and a red-blooded butchie. Sometimes when a hot femme smiles at me across the room I can’t help but smile back. It feels good. But I try to be good and keep my ego in check for the sake of my girlfriend. I teased her about the butch barback that kept trying to find dirty glasses near us so she could keep oogling my girlfriend’s prominent cleavage. Butchies high five me when she’s practically lap dancing on me in the club. I don’t care. I like it when people want my girl. She might not notice it but I see it just like she catches it when I don’t notice women checking me out. Honestly though, I try to acknowledge the looks I get from femmes with eye contact if for no other reason but to let them know that no they are not invisible. And while I may not be interested in cheating on my girlfriend with them, I still think they are beautiful and appreciate the smile. Women are beautiful.. why hate on each other? A smile or flirtatious look is harmless.
Sasha – you may not realize it but you already HAVE the thing that is JUST YOU and should give you that feeling of validation. Remi does not have thousands of adoring fans and readers and butchies who secretly want to steal her away. She could be jealous but she encourages you.
Goodness, I step away for only a little while and come back to find that I missed the party.
I know you’re not really going to go out and make-out with an anonymous femme, Sasha, but I think I understand that urge. To do so would be opening the door to infidelity in your marriage and that door should stay slammed shut and locked. You might want to add electric barbed wire for good measure. The scenario you suggest is an ugly can of worms and once it’s opened you can’t seal it back up. Fantasize, and imagine all you want if it makes you feel better, just don’t go out and make good on it. If you do, the feelings you are having now will seem like a Sunday picnic in the park compared to what would likely transpire from the fallout of those actions. Your lips belong to Remi and they shouldn’t be kissing anyone else in THAT way. Same goes the other way around.
Jealousy? Is that really what you’re feeling? Have you stopped to break it down, or are you just dumping all the assumed negative feelings you are having in the green jealousy bucket? Study the definition of the word and ask yourself if that matches your emotions. Identifying what we are feeling is the best way to gain control. Could it be that you’re actually envious of Remi? If so, ask yourself why. Is it possible the powersuits and flirtations translate to power and you feel you have none and therefore feel unequal? You can always go back to the grind, my dear. You did it once, and there is nothing stopping you from stepping into your stilettos and stepping out the door. My guess is that you would quickly tire of it and you would just want to go home to your freedom to do anything you want and not have to meet another deadline or brown nose or cow tow to anyone else. The grass always looks greener from the other side of the fence. I tell people to be careful with what they want, because when they get it, what they had might suddenly not look so bad. What you’ve got is the dream of many a femme.
And trust me, you’ve still got it by the boatloads. So many women would kill to look like you on what you would consider a bad day when all you have clean to wear is the stained stripped PJ’s from last year. Rest your mind, Sasha, and breathe deeply for ten minutes. Then go do a study on the word Relax. Life is good!!!
People respond to the energy we give off. Ever notice how, when you’re feeling empowered and positive, people are more attracted? When you breeze through your day knowing you look radiant, people part a path and open doors? Self consciousness and insecurity are like a sludge that covers you and when you go out with that muck on you, no one can see you. You’re just a pile of goo with legs so you may as well be a bush for a dog to pee on.
You have passion for many things, and it is not so much going out and doing them that makes you more interesting to Remi, it makes you more interesting to you. It’s like the others were saying when they get done with a workout. The power comes from within and people respond accordingly.
So sorry this is so long. I’m submitting it unedited because if I go back over what I just said, it’s likely to get even longer.
You are the mistress of your world. Remember that. <3
well said Rexie as always.
Oh and WWG if you would like to add me on Facebook so you can click the like button when I say irritating things, or join in on some dumb debate I am involved in for the day, feel free. Sasha put the link to my FB on my guest writer link over there —->
Done and Done Raye … and for the lazy one’s I hyperlinked your name on the last comment.
Sasha I am still LOL about your “For the record I dont wear sweatpants!!!!” LOL I was going to have my brother and his hubby take u shopping
since they live in your city and always tell me not to always be wearing jeans/so casual. Hehe
I’ve known Sash for over 10 yrs now. have definitely seen this side to her and when she says she could go into a bar and pick up the hottest femme in there she ain’t jokin’ folks. I’ve seen it, she’s pulled a robbery on me a few times back in the day.
I also know this always lines up with a manic episode. So please watch yourself doll. While your manic periods have usually led to some of the most memorable nights of my life, you’re married now. I hate to say it but maybe you should have Remi tie you up while she’s at work. errr … wait, you’d probably just like that! LOL
Sasha With several different commenters connecting this to the onset of one of your manic episodes I’m worried for you. Please take good care of yourself.
Hi Sasha, long time! Wishing you are well right f’in now!
Listen, all this stuff about you and Remi is crap. The both of you will be fine. We all go through things in life that make us stronger in our relationships. This is just a test. Ace it, and it will be over before you know it.
Remi loves you – just remember that, and you will be fine. I really don’t think there’s a competition thing going on here with you and her re: folks flirting with her. I think she is just being HONEST and talking about her day at work. Don’t make it out to be anymore than that.
I mean…I know you don’t want her to tell you NOTHING about what happens to her on a daily basis. You want to know about her day, right?
I really don’t think she’s telling you about her day to hurt you on purpose…Ok?
I mean…I think you want her to tell you about things that happen in her daily life…
SASHA- As mentioned about you should write a steamy novel withOUT censored pics
here is something to start you on the way http://www.publishingtriangle.org/. I will buy a copy for sure! 
WWG you should definitely check http://www.publishingtriangle.org/ out for sure- it’s located in New York (where u are I think) and like Sasha you also are a wonderful writer. Let me know if u girls win the prize $$$
Happy Turkey Day!
Ooh thank you Jaz!
lol Sasha I wasn’t ordering you around, I was saying you had already done it but thanks again!
WWG You are most welcome. I LOVE researching resources (and writing poetry) when I saw that I thought you and Sasha would live it. Hey since its where u live go to their holiday party – you never know your dream butch might be there. Feel free to check out my http://www.starjazi.blogspot.com for lots of (family friendly
I REALLY want to post one (omg sexy) site in particular but am refraining from doing so hehe) resources like that writing one. Keep up your wonderful writing WWG and Sasha and ALL CCL writers. 
Jaz
Sasha Please let us know you are ok. With some people commenting this might be the manic start for you I just wanted to let you know that I hope you are ok! Hope you and your lubby had a great Turkey Day! Jaz
Wow, everybody’s posted some really great comments here. So all I have to say to you, Sasha, is loose the PJs! Not so much for Remi as you. Get dressed, girl! You’ll feel better.
Kenda -Agreed but as clarified by Sasha
pjs are much cuter and better than sweat pants. 
smiles
Hmm, I think of jealousy as a symptom, and therefore the desire to make out with another femme for the thrill of it, not a cure or a solution but as a way of acting out (and I mean by that a physical expression of the problem) as part of the unresolved issue.
Like you, I have never been the jealous one. But with E, I find I get oddly and uncomfortably jealous sometimes; even though she likes to flirt, I know she has zero inclination to act out in any way that would truly be a threat to our relationship. I am also pretty flirtatious.
I guess I would take a moment to consider what feels missing for you right now, that the romantic and sexual attention of a hot femme would fill. I suspect it’s probably not sexual, per se, but something else. But are you getting enough attention from Remi? Is it the kind of attention you sometimes need? Should she be taking you out on dates more often? Taking you places that would allow you to be the center of attention not just by her, but by others? Do you simply need the attention and respect of others? For being powerful and competent all on your own? It is a normal human need. Attention and power are powerful aphrodisiacs.
The difficult part of making out or doing more with another femme is that as simple as it may seem in theory (or in fantasy) to you, there are at least two other people involved, and you can’t really control their reactions. It seems a very unpredictable and potentially tangled way of adding excitement and drama. Without intending to, you can create a horrid clusterf*, and that risk, to me, is not worth the admittedly hot endorphin-producing high of making out with someone new.
Relationships are hard because they are constantly evolving as we are. And I have found that as E and I talk more about things that bother us, and the more we talk, the less things bother us, and the less we have to talk about relationship stuff. Who knew? But I do know that finally finding E late in my life, I know a good thing and I am not letting go.
Hang in there.
I’ve had this discussion plenty of times, because she always makes the comment when we’re out people greet me first just start talking to me with no problems. I told he it’s because she has that don’t f*ck with me look. In the summer she always keeps he shades on, and I told her people can’t make any kind of connection or get a sense of who you are if you have some dark ass shades on. She feels as though since she’s a femme she should be getting more attention. That makes her jealous, she once asked me did I get jealous? I told her yeah, but there’s no point of me making a big deal out of things I can’t control, as far as people approaching her and trying to get her number. Like Remi I don’t worry about femmes trying to talk to my girl, I guess it’s a butch thing…lol I personally think two femmes together is hot.
Why don’t you just get your old life back? Staying in your house in pyjamas is probably the main reason why you have TOO much time to think about her being hit on by strangers… Being a person who has a LIFE other than waiting for your partner will give you back your lost confidence and give her a reason to be a little more “worried”. She doesn’t need to feel that she’s got you tied down waiting for her like a puppy.
Plus, maybe the reason why she is not jealous of femme girls is because she knows you couldnt’t have feelings for them so they don’t threaten your love. I’m like her, I don’t get jealous if my girl can only have one-night stands, only jealous of those she may love or care more than she does for me. Other than that, her body belongs to her only and she decides who she shares it with
Come on get out there and stop living in her shoes.