Well hello all. Long time no see. Yet again I come writing with a heavy heart from my little corner in Ohio. My brothwr died two days before my birthday in January. And so I have been hiding away in my little hole. I do however make all kinds of time to stop by and read. Just not comment. Im like an internet stalker.
Before I go on I’d like to talk about my brother. He was 17. Would turn 18 in June and be graduating (thank god his high school is still giving him a diploma). He died of a siezure on January 20. He was my whole entire world and rock. He made me laugh when no one else could and pissed me off like only a little brother and best friend could. Im walking in a walk to support the research of epilepsy. This is something that is near and dear to my heart and my brother only ever asked one question about his epilepsy. WHY? If you can find it in your hearts just to find out more information by clicking this link.
Im not necessarily asking for donation. I have about thirty people who will be joining team Cody in this walk next month to honor and celebrate my brother. He was an amazing kid.
On a not so holy crap could it get any worse note. My girlfriend and I are expecting. We’ll call her … Andi. It’s kind of a long story as to how this happened but it involves relationship issues, a lot of alcohol, and some not so good choices on her part. We werent together at the time and I am all too happy to make this baby my own. Biggest question is. How do you explain that to people when they asked how it happened? Most people know I wouldn’t be supporting in vitro so soon after I lost my step son.
Another question. I am a self professed butch. Sometimes a boy. Only with a y. No i. Do you think its weird or odd that I have been contemplating carrying a child at some point in my life? Im the only one left to carry on my bloodline with my brother being gone. And its important to me that I be able to do that. Sorry for the long random blog. I hope yoy all find yourselves well.
K
Fate has been harsh to you. I send my sympathies and deep condolences. As far as intrusive questions as to “how that happened”, it’s really none of anyone’s business and if it were me, I’d not be shy in telling them so. You may not be as defensive as I, but anyone who asks that questions is a class A dolt. Maybe even raised eyebrow, blank stare and a “what do you mean?” response might jolt them into realize how stupid they are to wonder. Best of luck to you, K.
Not sure what happened, but my last paragraph was cut off. To paraphrase, I wanted to wish you and your girlfriend the very best and offer congratulations on the baby news!
Sorry for your loss and congratulations on the baby!
We love you.
Wow, you’ve been through SO much. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your brother. I wish you much joy with this new baby.
And NO, I don’t think it’s weird that you’re considering carrying a baby at some point. If a transman (Thomas Beattie) can carry three, and Cynthia Nixon’s very butch partner can carry one, then I don’t see why you can’t carry one yourself.
Hang in there kido, sorry for your loss
it is great to witness the forming of a life as you are experiencing the lose of another… as you can see this universe takes and gives and as you are left without your brother and inside of all the pain this has brought, you still have received more than what you have lost. First, your brother was yours to enjoy, not anyone else’s, just yours, and that is an insuperable blessing. I do share your grief and celebrate your time with him.
Concerning the promise of parenting you have just received, congratulations!, life works the way it should, the events which take place in this lifetime are the ones we agreed to in a time before and for some awesome reason you and your girlfriend agreed to parent this way. It is a baby!, that’s all the explaining you must give. To the intrusive question of “how?” I would respond: “by choice and by being fuckin’ awesome”… Don’t limit yourself. I am a ‘boy’ myself and wouldn’t feel comfortable carrying a child but if you do, GO FOR IT. what’s gonna happen?, is the butch association going to cancel your membership?, NO! go have a baby dude!,
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. Congrats and best wishes on the baby.