Written by Guest Lesbian, Jolie
Well, good lord, it’s been a minute.
Sorry I dropped off the planet on y’all. Thanksgiving, paired with changes to work schedules, life schedules, and family craziness, have slapped a fairly effective muzzle on me!
Although, since I’m a writer, maybe I’ve been caught in a finger trap? Hmm.
But I digress (which is common for me)…
This was my first Thanksgiving with Rhett as a married couple, my first Thanksgiving back here in New Mexico, and the first time in years that I’ve prepared a Thanksgiving meal for my mother. All in one fell swoop.
Not to mention it was Rhett’s first major family holiday with his Mother in Law. Poor guy.
The dinner itself was a rousing success, if I do dare toot my own horn. What it was, though, was occasionally interesting from the transwife perspective.
See, my mom got to have her first Big Gay Thanksgiving. My two bestest gay boy buddies drove down from Albuquerque to join us for dinner. My college roomie, also a big ol’ dyke, was here as well. And, of course, there was us. Five queers, total. Awesome? Absolutely. Except for the moments where my mother referred to Rhett as “she.”
Now, this is okay, because Rhett hasn’t yet started the process of coming out to immediate family as transgendered. All of the friends present at dinner were aware, though, and used the correct pronouns. Mom did pick up on the fact that we use male pronouns at home, that we refer to Rhett as “Dad” with both the animal and human kids. None of that seemed to phase her. But this is Mom, and moms don’t generally change their stripes quickly, if at all.
My mother has been amazing since she met my first girlfriend, years ago. She has been the biggest advocate and ally I could have asked for, and continues to be so to this day.
She just doesn’t know yet that Rhett’s a dude.
It wasn’t awkward, or uncomfortable, listening to people slide back and forth between pronouns all day, trying to remember that Mom isn’t on the trans bandwagon yet.
It was, however, really funny when we went shopping on Black Friday. As Mom was talking to a friendly salesperson, she referred to us as “the girls.” I looked around to see who the hell she was talking about.
Even funnier was the moment, shortly thereafter, when Rhett belted out my name from halfway across the same store. My habitual response, being the cutesy smart-ass that I am, was “Yessir!”
Six different people gave us a National Geographic stare after that outburst. One of the six people was my mother. Yes, I do know how slick I am.
It won’t be much longer before we sit Mom down and explain the birds and the bees to her. I’m not worried about her reaction; like I said, she’s awesome with the world o’queer that her eldest daughter inhabits.
It will just cause this Thanksgiving to make a lot more sense to her!
I hope you all had a lovely day with laughter and friends and family and love, and that you’re looking forward to your Christmas/Yule/Hanukkah/whatever. My mom, and her loving acceptance, remind me how lucky I am to share this life with such good people. I’ll be taking the time, this holiday season, to celebrate that.