Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Looking For the Write Butch

Posted on 09. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

While reading some of my favorite lesbian blogs, I realized that a lot of them have more then one writer contributing to their site.

Personally, I’ve always been a real loner. Which extends to my work life. Nothing suits me better, then working alone all day, every day. But it did get me thinking that it might be nice to have another voice on Card Carrying Lesbian every once in a while.

But what kind of voice?

Well a butch one of course!

So I’m officially looking for someone who self-identifies as butch, who would like to be a contributing blogger on CCL every once in while. You all know my love for all things of the butch/femme dynamic no matter how politically incorrect it may be sometimes.

So if you think you have something interesting, strong and of course very butchy to say, please email a writing sample and something about yourself to CardCarryingLesbian@gmail.com.

So come on, don’t be a shy butch. Be an outspoken one!

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Technical Difficulties

Posted on 08. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

I know I promised a vlog by tonight BUT I am having some issues figuring out how to get the video from iPhoto to iMovie.

If anyone has ’09 iLife and they know what I’m talking about, could you help a sista out?

So sorry lovergirl that I made you throw up in your mouth a little for nothing … don’t worry I’m still going to tell you what I think you should do as soon as I can figure out my mac thingy.

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White Party Outfit?

Posted on 07. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

One of my biggest concerns lately has been what am I going to wear to the White Party during Dinah Shore. I’ve never been before but from all I hear, it sounds like this is biggest night to really dress up and show off a bit.

I’ve been window shopping relentlessly to no avail. So I did what any good blogger does, I shopped online. I found and ended up buying two different dresses for the white party. Why two? Well since I bought them online I wasn’t sure how they might fit and secondly, I preferred one while Remi wanted to see me in the other one. So she bought them both for me.

But I want your opinion so here are photos of them. Before you ask, “No, that is NOT me!” But I wish it were.”

Remi's Pick

My Pick

What do you think? Should I hooch myself out for Dinah? Or stay true to my personal sense of style and take the slightly classier road?

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Shmirshky: You Love them, You have them.

Posted on 06. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

I just finished reading Shmirshky by E. Which is a cleverly written, glib look into what we all have to look forward to ladies. Menopause. Now normally I might not pick up a book like this, mostly out of ego. I like to tell myself that I am eternally youthful and try not to worry my pretty little head over far-off health issues. But let’s face it, we’re all going to go through it.

The only difference is that some of us will go through it uninformed, angry, scared and if you’re anything like my mother, you’ll go through it a raving lunatic.

Or you could be smart about the inevitable and when the time comes, you could be prepared, informed and ready. Enter Shmirshky. It’s sort of like having your funniest and most clever girlfriend go through it first and then tell you all about it in ways that will make you laugh out loud. But like all best friends, she’ll be brutally honest. Only her honesty will come wrapped  in the caring and light heartedness that only a true friend can offer.

So if you or anyone you know is nearing premenopause, perimenopause or even the big daddy of all pauses: menopause itself, then you really need this little book. Buy it for yourself, your best friend, your mom or anyone you know that has a vagina and might want to know a little bit more about what’s going on down there.

Check out the website www.shmirshky.com to buy the book. They even have some cute little tank tops that cleverly show punani pride, which every lesbian I know should appreciate.

Oh by the way, since you’re one of my reader’s you get a special little code that will give you an awesome 20% discount on the book. Just type in “CARDCARRYING” in the discount code box when you checkout.

I’m serious ladies, this is a must read for you and any woman in your life.

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Debut Vlog Topic: Coming Soon

Posted on 05. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

This is just a quick note really.

I’ve gotten a few comments lately from readers that are asking my advice on relationships, how to know if they’re gay, what’s up with Tony and whether or not Remi and I are going to have a “temporarily open relationship” for Dinah Shore.

Well here’s the deal, I could write about it and probably will anyways. But Remi bought me that nifty little camcorder so I could start doing vlogs. The only reason I haven’t yet is, well to be honest I’m nervous! I’m used to writing, safe behind my keyboard and screen in my pajamas and glasses. But if I vlog, you’re all going to see what I look like! And contrary to some comments that accuse me of being a self-absorbed girl that thinks I’m the sh!% … I am not. I’m actually pretty insecure about my looks, as I’m sure a lot of women are.

But I’m going to tell myself that most of my readers don’t really give a crap about what I look like, throw caution to the wind and just do it … eventually. LOL … no really, expect my first video blog the end of this weekend … I hope.

My other reason for not having posted a video blog yet is that I wasn’t sure what to talk about! But I think I’ll address some of the recent comments pleading for some advice.

These will be some of the first comments I address. So if you’re one of the girls that left them, be sure to check back for a video response to your comment. Ha, don’t you feel special? Well you should always feel special, even if someone isn’t putting their insecurities on the back burner to make a vlog for you.

lovergirl wrote:

I have a boyfriend. This girl hits on me at the gym… It’s unlike any way i’ve ever been approached. I don’t think I like girls. I like her though. I really hope it’s no just me liking attention. I wouldn’t want to hurt her by my selfishness. She has pretty hair, and the way she looks at me makes me nervous…..
I’m 22. Femme, but athletic.?I like her.

GreenIIsGood write:

Here is a shocker: I’m in my 30s, married for a while and have a litter of kids.
I really, really like women. Kinda always known that but….
Finally got “it” to happen a while back with someone who’s in her 40s. This was a first for both of us. Now we can’t get enough of each other. She is in a relationship long term with a guy. He tells me he would have never known that about her. He is cool with us, which is great. I am realizing men are so lacking.
So, I am kinda confused, I am thinking I’m bi, cuz yes, I do have interest in men, but I mostly just like to dominate them but when it comes to my girl, it’s a whole different feeling-like what have I been missing all this time????
Anyone out there with a similar situation?

AGirlInTheMiddle wrote:

From the time I was in elementary school until now I’ve always been attracted to tomboy-ish or androgynous girls. In high school I had a huge crush on a girl and still fantasize about her now and then. And its not purely a sexual fantasy, I think about holding and kissing her passionately and telling her sweet things to make her feel good.
After all this explanation, in short, I’M CONFUSED! lol I want to be with a girl so bad, the thought seems so right, but I love the man I have with all my heart… Please tell me theres been other girls that have been this confused.


Well you get the point. The topic of my upcoming, debut vlog will be “How To Know if you’re a lesbian!”

So stay tuned.

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Lana a.k.a Lesbian Bait

Posted on 02. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

The other night we went out to Girl Bar, with Lana in tow. I had assured Lana several times, that she would not be mauled, attacked or hit on. I mean after all, it’s a lesbian bar and while it is a bar, we are still women. Which in my experience has meant that in general, women are usually pretty shy and don’t hit on each other without some serious body language giving the green light. And not even then most of the time!

All too often lesbian clubs remind me of those horrible 6th grade dances when all the boys would stand on one side of the gym and all the girls would line up on the opposite wall, waiting, hoping and wishing that that cute little boy that was 6 inches shorter then them would have the nerve to come over and ask them to dance.

So after multiple assurances on my part, that Lana would not be molested on her first night at a dyke bar, the ladies of West Hollywood quickly took up the challenge to make a liar out of me.

We hadn’t been there ten minutes before a girl walks up to our group, circles around, gives Lana an up and down appraisal, literally shakes her head yes, as if to say, “Yep, that’ll do!” and walked over to our group of five. I mean really, how often does a woman have the guts to approach an entire group of females just to get at one in the center?

She leaned in and yelled over the blaring music, “My friend is having a party right down the street and told me to come and find some hot women to bring over.”

We smiled, said thank you and maybe. Laughing hysterically that Lana had just been cruised mere moments after sitting down.

This type of thing happened through out the night. It was actually pretty funny watching the women circle around Lana like sharks circle fresh chum.

But nothing would make my night like what ended up happening out on the dance floor. Apparently, Lana is irresistible to older, shorter lesbians. Well, one in particular. Before we knew it, she was being man-handled by a very pushy woman.

Seeing my friend in distress I did what any good friend does, I threw my girlfriend in between them, confident that the interloper would take a hint. [...]

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Tony & Willa: Part 4

Posted on 01. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

Once again, Willa had managed to not surprise me by her shabby treatment of Tony.

Tony attempted contact with Willa repeatedly over the next 24 hours. It wasn’t until Willa was good and ready (and probably done fucking whoever she was with) did she bother to return Tony’s calls.

I’m not privy to exactly was said between the two, all I know is that in no time at all Willa was back at Tony’s place, securely ensconced in her role as “Trophy girlfriend.” Tony was still paying her lawyer bills for the divorce and everything seemed to settle back into their fucked up little arrangement.

Until Willa went out for another “night out with the girls” not to return till the next morning, disheveled, panty-less and hung-over. At this point Tony had had enough and lit into Willa. Or so she tells me. But whatever she said got Willa to spill the beans as to where she’d been sneaking off to all these times.

Anyone want to hazard a guess??? Yep, you’ve guessed it. Her husband!!

That hoe bag was crawling back into bed with her so-called “emotionally abusive” husband that Tony was paying for  her to get a divorce from.

Whoa. Can anyone else feel the hit to the gut Tony must have experienced at the moment of impact? Apparently the revelation was so shocking and upsetting to Tony she threw up a few minutes after finding out. I know I’ve been that upset before and I know if it gets to the point of tossing your cookies over the fucked up shit your girlfriend is doing to you, it’s time to leave.

Thankfully Tony called Willa’s bluff this time and kicked her out. In spite of Willa’s begging, pleading and no doubt lying through her teeth, Tony stood her ground and told her to get out.

Willa swore up and down that she could never go back to her husband. That she was confused and wanted to be sure it was really over before she fully committed to Tony. I think she even threw in there, that he had bullied her into sleeping with him and that somehow she had actually done it for Tony. But whatever lies came spilling out of her, Tony told her she had to go.

But being the chivalrous and just plain too nice person she is, Tony told Willa she could hang onto the car for a few weeks till she got back on her feet. Since apparently Tony did believe her when Willa promised she wouldn’t be moving back into her husband’s house. But instead would be staying at her sister’s.

I really wish this were the end of the story. But it’s not.

To be continued.

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My Wife, Ellen

Posted on 28. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

I keep having a recurring dream, that it’s the 1920’s and I’m one of the first women in college somewhere here in L.A. But then after class I’m walking out to the street where my wife, Ellen is picking me up in her convertible, 1920 something Rolls Royce!

Basically, I love Ellen and if she weren’t already married and I was single, I would totally hold out hopes for running into her some day. Hey, everyone has a celebrity dream-lover and now you know mine.

So when Remi showed me this video of my wife on You Tube, I had to share.

I’m sure most of you have already seen it, but I don’t have TV anymore so I’m always the last to see anything.

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Domestic Partnership Tax Breaks?

Posted on 27. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

Ughhh …. I hesitate to even broach this subject on my blog for fear of what Remi might think, fear of what others may think is my “real” motive, fear of how I may come across on this topic and just overall uneasiness discussing this topic. Because #1) I tend to vacillate on it by the moment. #2) I can play devil’s advocate better then the horned dude himself and just basically confuse the hell out of myself and #3) I don’t want to sound like some woman trying to “trick” her partner into marriage.

Having laid out all those disclaimers, I say fuckit ….. here’s what’s on my mind right now.

Taxes are coming up. Remi and I are living together, sharing a house, all bills, cars and oh, did I tell you? We just opened up a joint bank account and I am officially in charge of all the bill paying. When I told Lana this, she just looked at me and said, “Duhhhh … you are the wife! That’s what wives do.” Then continued to choke me, since we were in krav class at the time.

Wife? Am not! [...]

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Hypomanic? Here’s hoping.

Posted on 26. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

HYPOMANIA

(from Wikipedia)

Hypomania (literally, below mania) is a mood state characterized by persistent and pervasive elevated or irritable mood, and thoughts and behaviors that are consistent with such a mood state. People experiencing hypomanic symptoms typically have a flight of ideas, a decreased need for sleep and/or rest, are extremely outgoing and daring, and have a great deal of energy. However, unlike full-blown mania, those with hypomanic systems are generally fully functioning. Specifically, it is distinguished from mania by the absence of psychotic symptoms and by its lower degree of impact on functioning. Hypomania is a feature of two mood disorders: bipolar II disorder and cyclothymia, but can also occur in schizoaffective disorder. Hypomania is sometimes credited with increasing creativity and productive energy. A number of people with creative talents have reportedly experienced hypomania or other symptoms of bipolar disorder and attribute their success to it. Classic symptoms of hypomania include mild euphoria, a flood of ideas, endless energy, and a desire and drive for success. A lesser form of “hypomania” is called hyperthymia, which is essentially a normal human emotion commonly called happiness.

One of the only up sides to being bipolar is the occasional hypo-manic stages. These are times that you have just a bit more energy then you really need, you’re super productive, unbelievably creative but you’re not soooooo manic that you’re self-destructive. It’s like being the Goddess of Multi-Tasking. [...]

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Tony & Willa: Part 3 … ugh

Posted on 25. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

I just got off the phone with Tony, who understandably is a bit shaken over the comments. But I warned her that you guys were going to be brutally honest with her. Which is exactly what she needs. With her renewed permission to continue telling you her story, here we go again …..

I think Tony was avoiding me for a few days, because I didn’t hear from her for more then a week. When I finally did get a call, it was to tell me that yes, she did indeed get Willa a Mercedes. But I was not to jump down her throat before I heard her out. Here is her lame defense, “Well I didn’t buy her a car. I simply traded in the Caddy for a Mercedes and I’m letting her drive it. It’s still in my name so it’s not like she can just drive off with it.”

Uh huh. OK, I guess this was better then buying her a $50,000 ring that she could turn around and pawn. But still, it was pretty freakin’ early in the relationship to be taking on a ginormous car loan for someone. But whatever.

It seemed like everything was going pretty smoothly for them and I actually let myself hope that maybe, just maybe Willa wasn’t all bad. The divorce seemed to be going through. Tony was happy. Willa was pampered. All was right in the world.

Until late one Saturday night, a little after midnight my phone rang and it was a very upset Tony. Willa hadn’t been home since Friday afternoon. She wasn’t answering her cell phone and she couldn’t find her anywhere. Poor Tony had even called all the hospitals to see if there had been an accident.

When she finally did hear from Willa it was a flippant little text stating, “Hey babe I drank a little too much wine last night and stayed at my friend’s house.” Which was a lie became Tony had already called that friend and knew she hadn’t seen her all week.

Tony was beside herself. First she had been scared to death that Willa had been in some horrible automobile accident, for which she was actually blaming herself for getting her such a fast car. (Can you believe that!?) Then when she knew she was alright, she was furious and justifiably so, concerned as to whether or not she was being cheated on. Hmmmmmm????? I wonder? <—– insert sarcasm here.

Willa finally found her way home early Sunday morning. At which point, she somehow turned the whole thing around and blamed Tony for being jealous and controlling. She actually had the nerve to pack a bag and storm out of Tony’s, telling her she would come back when Tony had calmed down and was ready to apologize!!!!!!

Grrrrr arrrgghhhhh!!!! Let me at her!!!! I was so ready to slap the shit out of her at this point!!!!! I had never heard Tony so upset and hurt in all the years I had known her. Who the hell did this woman think she was treating my friend like this?

Tony is a very intelligent, successful woman yet for some reason she’s totally dumb struck by this chick. While my advice to her was to change the locks and throw Willa’s crap out on the side walk, Tony decided to give her another chance.

So she called her to talk about it.

But wait. There’s no answer. Willa had turned off her phone, taken the Mercedes and disappeared. Again.

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Am I Jinxing it?

Posted on 25. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

OK so if it wasn’t already clear that I have the best girlfriend in the world, let me recap:

For Valentine’s Day this year, she bought me a Mini Cooper!
Then yesterday she bought me an new little pocket camcorder so I can start video blogging, or vlogging as it’s called.

If it sounds like she spoils me, it’s because she does. Lately I’ve been having to pinch myself to remind myself that all this good stuff is actually happening … to me! I guess it’s just been so long (more like never before) that life has been this easy and this good. I’m afraid to get too comfortable in it. I don’t know about you, but I almost feel like if I let myself relax and enjoy it, that I might jinx it somehow. Do you know what I mean?

It’s just so hard for me to really believe that I found someone this amazing. A woman that still loves me after bipolar episodes take us on monumental, emotional roller coasters on a regular basis. Someone that goes to work every day and never complains that I can’t work on a regular basis. Someone that takes care of me more then I would ever really want to admit to. But the fact is, I need someone like that … I need her.

Being vulnerable in relationships has never been my strong suit. I have a modus operandi and that is to bolt at the slightest hint of the other person pulling away from the relationship, at all. Which is why I have a flawless record of always being the one who walks away first.

But for the first time, I don’t want to walk away. Ever. And that scares the living daylights out of me. To actually admit that not only do I love her this much, but I’ve come to depend on her in more ways then I can count. It actually makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it right now.

I worry that one of my “episodes” will just scare her away one of these days. Believe me, there have been some major doozies and the fact that she’s never wavered in her commitment to me, not even for a second is something that just seems too good to be true.

But let me ask you, am I creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by not living in the moment and always worrying that things will not last? I feel like I’m totally cheating both of us by worrying about something that might never happen instead of being fully present in the now, which is actually pretty fucking awesome right now.

Geeeez!!!! I really need to lighten up, be thankful and just enjoy the ride.

Will someone please kick some sense into me?!

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Tony & Willa: Part 2

Posted on 23. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

So we’re back to Tony and Willa. Last you heard, Tony had just found out that Willa was bisexual and still married to her husband! But instead of kicking her hot ass out of bed, she goes and pays for a divorce lawyer. Great move.

What could possibly come next, you might wonder? Well hold on to your seats ladies, because it’s about to get really bumpy for our friend Tony here ….

It wasn’t more then a few weeks into living together, before Willa came to Tony asking for a new car. Now Tony is a rather successful woman and already had two very nice cars in the garage. Her BMW SUV and Cadillac CTS that she rarely ever used. Common sense would have thrown up a giant red flag that read “Gold digger!” But apparently the only red thing she saw waving in the air were Willa’s panties.

As horny as any red blooded lesbian might be under similar circumstances, reason would have still said, “Well sure honey. Why don’t you tool around town in the Caddy?”

I don’t think anyone would have said that was less then generous on Tony’s part. But no, that wasn’t good enough. Why would Willa want a  second hand Caddy (2009 BTW) when she figured Tony had the means of getting her into a Mercedes?

Yep, I can hear the collective groans now as you all read this …. “N o!  D o n  ’t  d o  i t!” – as we all yell in slow motion, unable to stop the inevitable collision of Tony’s heart and wallet against the cold hard concrete we’re all too sure Willa will eventually smash it into.

But like the true gentlemen that she is, she took her to the car dealership later that week. But not before calling me and having this little conversation:

Tony: “Hey Sasha, you used to be in the jewelry business right?” [...]

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Is Tony Getting Taken for a Fool?

Posted on 21. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

Would you be a fool for a woman like this?

One of my good friends is going through some pretty serious lesbian drama. I wouldn’t be blogging about it, if she hadn’t given me permission. That’s how serious it is. Let me fill you in a little ….

For her privacy and the purpose of this blog, we’ll be calling my friend, Tony.

Tony is someone that I dated briefly about 8 years ago. She was more of my knight in shining armor whenever I got screwed over by my current love affair. She was the one I would call and she always came running. Ready and willing to take me in for the night, or weekend.

But I was an idiot back then and didn’t fully appreciate what a good catch she was. Years later, we’ve grown into good friends, sans the rebound sex. So while I’m now in a committed relationship, I can look at Tony objectively and see that she deserves to be happy with a good woman. If only life were that easy.

Remember how I mentioned Tony’s penchant for playing the hero, coming to the rescue of any helpless femme?? While that may be one of her best qualities, it’s also her biggest weakness.

Enter Willa. I’ll call her Willa because she could be Willa Ford’s twin sister. Tony met Willa about 4 months ago. It was a whirlwind romance. Before two weeks were up, they were living together. Both very successful women in their chosen fields. It seemed too perfect to be true …. and so it was. [...]

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Straight Friends

Posted on 20. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

Boy oh boy, what a difference a year makes. Just about this time last year, all my friends were lesbians. I mean, all my friends. I hung out with this tight circle of pretty, ambitious, intelligent, cut throat, backstabbing, gossipy, alcoholic lesbians that liked to think of themselves as the hottest thing around.

At the time I bought into the hype. I thought that we were all really friends. That we had each others back and would be there for each other through thick and thin. Of course, assuming everyone actually stayed thin enough to remain a member of this pseudo-soriety. But over time, in-fighting, dating & breaking-up within the group lead to the inevitable fractioning off and eventual disintegration of the entire so-called sisterhood of the “Walking Awesome” … their name, not mine.

I was left pretty much betrayed, hurt and confused as to what I did to earn so much disdain from fellow ex-members. So what if I made-out with someone’s best-friend one drunken night, seeking comfort from a crappy relationship I was in at the time?  It wasn’t like she was with that person anyways. Not to mention, it wasn’t anyone’s business. But other then that one incident, the fall out that ensued was beyond me. However I quickly got over it and moved on.

I mean hey, I was in a happy relationship with Remi. Good riddance to poisonous relationships. We made a pact with one another that we would be more picky about the people we let into our lives from now on. Only good, kind hearted people would be allowed in to share our lives. Period. And if that meant friends were few and far between then so be it.

I’m glad we made that decision and stuck to it. Because now, when we look around at our life we realize that we have made a new group of friends. Every single one of them are kind, smart and funny people that we love to share our time and lives with. The only thing that surprises me about our group of friends, that is quickly becoming more like family then anything else, is that they are all straight! [...]

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Lezzy Awards & MINI’s!!! Oh my!!!

Posted on 19. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

OK so I think it’s safe to say that the storm clouds of bad luck have lifted from my life and I seem to be a new roll … a good one!

First piece of AWESOMENESS is that Card Carrying Lesbian has been nominated, again this year for Best Lesbian Personal Blog!!!! Last year I think I was in the best new lesbian blog. I didn’t win last year, but the cliche saying, “It’s an honor just to be nominated” is so true!

So please don’t be shy, vote for me!

(Apparently you will be sent a confirmation email that you must click in order for your vote to be counted.)

OK, now for the second piece of AWESOMENESS ….. drum roll puhleeeeeeez ……..
I got a brand new MINI Cooper!!!!

Yep, that’s right. I officially have the most amazing, perfect, generous, wonderful girlfriend in the entire world! Remi and I bought our new baby, that we have named Belmont at Long Beach Mini this last Wednesday.

It’s a 2010 Mini Cooper S Clubman and I am truly in love with my new car! But even more in love with Remi then ever. Not just because she bought us a new car, but because it was a really big step to buy something this big! Which says a lot about how she feels about our future together. Basically, this just renewed and confirmed our commitment to each other. Nothing says you’re serious about someone like buying them a new car.

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Lesbian Speed Dating: Update

Posted on 11. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

OK, so just so you all know, in case anyone ELSE wants to do this, here’s the website: http://www.q2dspeeddating.com/

Apparently there’s a lesbian speed dating event at the end of the month at the Abbey!!! So of course, I wanted to go, but it’s already full. Phooey.

But there is one in Long Beach this Friday. I would go but Remi’s working so it would just be me, by myself and somehow that defeats the purpose and just looks REALLY bad. But I wanted to get the word out in case any of you single ladies didn’t have anything planned this weekend. Go! And then tell us all about it.

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Lesbian Speed Dating

Posted on 09. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

Okay, I have a confession. When I was single I was this close to attending a lesbian speed dating event in the desperate hopes of meeting someone, anyone that was a viable candidate for a normal date. But my ego got the best of me and I talked myself out of it. Now that I’m in a happy, secure relationship it sounds like a fun thing to do …. wait, let me explain and then you can tell me how wrong I am.

First of all, my friend Lana is single, straight and recently took a vow of “Yes.” She swore to herself that she would say “Yes” to any and all social events, given that they don’t include nudity or felonious behavior. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t blatantly exploit this situation to my amusement? No, really … I would never do anything to hurt her. But I will try to push her out of her comfort zone. Enter: Speed Dating.

I had a flash of brilliance one night, that we should take Lana to speed dating event. But we can’t very well throw her to wolves and tell her we’ll be back in an hour. So we promised her we would do it with her. Yep, Remi and I are going to pretend to be straight, single gals one of these nights to help push Lana back into the dating game.

That’s all fine and well … no harm done to unsuspecting men. I figure I’ll use my fake gypsy accent and call myself Esmerelda. I’ll be so out of my mind eccentric no man in his right man would pick me anyways. As for my lovely girlfriend, Remi, playing a straight girl? Well I don’t know how I’ll hold back the laughter and will seriously wonder if  any man there will buy it or are they really that blind, dumb and horny that a girl that looks that gay would ever really want to date them?

Okay, so maybe lying to a room full of men about ourselves is forgivable …. and then again, maybe it’s not but I’m still going to do it. The real question is how horrible would it be if we do the same thing at a Lesbian Speed Dating Event? With Lana in tow as an honorary lesbian for the night? I mean hey, we’ve already brought up the possibility of opening up our relationship for Dinah Shore. Maybe this could be a test run?

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Open Relationships @ Dinah Shore: Yay or Nay?

Posted on 06. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

The count down to Dinah Shore has officially began in our house. We even ran out to Targay and bought some free weights to buff up in time for all those crazy pool parties. For those of you living under a rock, Dinah Shore is the biggest lesbian, spring break, orgy in the world, and this will be my very first time in attendance.

While I always swore that when I finally did go to Dinah it would be first class all the way, I never planned on being in a serious relationship for my maiden voyage into the lesbian seas of Dinah Shore. But as fate would have it, I am. While we are staying at one of the host hotels, the Renaissance, for the four days of excess and indulgence, we are still in a committed relationship. Therein lies the rub: What’s the point in going to a lesbian spring break when I can’t indulge in a simple little fling here and there?

Remi and I have toyed with the idea of opening up our relationship a little bit for Dinah. I know, I know, I can hear the groans from here! Our closest friends have advised against this bone head move. But I can’t help myself, I want to have the “Dinah Shore experience” as cheesy as that sounds, I really think being able to make out with random, hot women in the elevator or pool is a key point in making that happen.

We keep going back and forth about this. One week, we’re feeling super lovey-dovey and the thought of even looking at another girl seems wrong. But then there are those days when we’re fighting or just not feeling overly romantic and the idea of a little healthy flirting doesn’t sound so evil. I hate to admit it, but sometimes, we feel more like best friends then lovers. It’s those times that I think our relationship could stand a little healthy jealousy to jump start the passion. When better then at a lesbian smorgasbord of such magnitude as Dinah Shore?

If we do this, there will be strict rules. Like no one comes back to the room. No actual sex. No one we know in our real lives. You know, stuff like that. But above all else, we’ve sworn not to be another Dinah Shore casualty. I am well aware of the countless relationships that have fallen by the wayside during this week of debauchery and I refuse to add my name to that list of heart broken women that were swayed away from their loves by the sirens of the White Party.

But here’s where you come in.  Any and all advice, shared experiences or just all out ranting about opening one’s relationship for a limited time only, please don’t hold back. I want to hear from you!

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Can I get a Ride?

Posted on 05. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

As I mentioned, my best friend Lana is the proud new owner of this beautiful little baby:

Let me just say how proud I am of her! She’s not even 30 yet and she’s totally rockin’ the independent female thing. She didn’t need a man (she’s straight) to get her cute little ass in a sweet ride like this. Nope. She just made it happen all on her own and she’s my hero for the month.

Now if I could just get myself a new little Mini Cooper …..

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