Best regards..
Your straight gerlfriend!

I don’t really see where the problem is. I’ve identified as bi all my life (I mean like since I was 15) and am in my first serious relationship with a woman, finally, at 38, and wonder what on EARTH I was missing all these years. No turning back for me!! (and I honestly really enjoyed sex with men).

I don’t see why lesbian sex has to be at all about taking turns. It rarely is for me, usually we’re getting off together in some way. There are so many ways to get creative and inventive about it. We don’t have a butch/femme relationship, we both identify as shapeshifters/genderqueer and like trading roles and are totally comfortable with genderplay too.

If you want things to be more reciprocal just use your hands or her body or a toy, and get off at the same time. What’s the big deal?

second. i am not a butch, but i am a feminine lesbian who is primarily attracted to butch women. while there are certain dynamics that generally come with butch/femme relationships, you can never ever generalize. because while someone may categorize themselves (or be categorized) as something, they still have a personality that is 100% completely THEIR OWN.

and i agree. the butch allowing the femme to be the “pleaser”, as well can definitely depend on the trust level. that would be a good example of my current relationship. it took a few months to get to the point where she allowed the pleasing to be equal. and my woman is a big big butch. and i absolutely love it. :]

If your not clear of your turn on’s, what you like or what your looking for there will always be an issue on both sides.

I am a proud sexy little pillow princess who plays no games about my sexual prefference, no confusion.

i sometimes feel the same way. you’re not alone.
but then sometimes gf and i both think it’s plenty ok for just one of us to ‘receive’ that night. the other one always gets their fair share at a later date

Nor do I EVER think that anyone would EVER want my “crumbs and handouts ” …. I am not as vain as to think that anyone would want that. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful gf that thinks I’m prettier than I actually am.

I am an ally and fan to the butch community and it baffles me that there is such division within the lesbian community.

So thank you Deb for leaving that comment and to several other people who left well thought out and supportive comments.

This is not a forum for hate speech, or bashing of any kind but I would like it to be a place where people can voice their opinions and have and open and mature dialogue about it.

I am educated, emotionally available, articulate, creative, artistic and have been able to sustain long term, mutually loving and supportive relationships. I resent having to refrain from using the term ‘butch’ because of all the internalized HOMOPHOBIA that runs rampant in the gay community. This is the same homophobia that HATES nelly boys. Butch women and nelly boys are the FLAMERS of the gay world. We are UNABASHEDLY and OBVIOUSLY QUEER. We will OUT you to the rest of the world because we look like EXACTLY who we are.

Just because SOME femmes are self-indulgent, bratty, high maintenance, spoiled and narcissistic pillow ‘princesses’ does not mean that all are. And it wasn’t too many years ago that femmes were DISDAINED within the lezzzzzzbian community because they looked suspiciously ‘straight’. But now that we have the so-called fabulous L Word, and all those ‘lipstick’ lezzies, the femmes have received a ‘get out of hetero-land free’ card.

Disclaimer: I am happily partnered and in NO WAY seeking to set my self apart hoping for crumbs and handouts from Sasha’s table, as someone seems to think any butch with a real beef is up to. She is also partnered to a B U T C H. I realize that within the city limits of LaLa Land, it is illegal to be butch and lipstick, stilettos and silicone are issued at all check points.