The guy I thought I had ditched and by now had convinced myself was never even looking at me was sitting behind me on a chair, checking my ass out as I looked for lesbian erotica. Fantastic.
To think, a few moments before he made his presence known, I was mentally berating myself for being so stuck up as to think some stranger was going to hit on me. But here he was, about to make me very uncomfortable.
I pretended not to hear him and instead grabbed a few books without even looking at them and quickly walked away. I walked past every aisle looking for a quite corner to sit and hide. I finally found one, it wasn’t totally empty but the skinny, gay boy sitting there with his ipod on and book in his lap wasn’t exactly threatening either so I sat down in the far corner and began flipping through the stack of books.
It wasn’t too long before some legs were very close to me, looking at the books on the shelf to my left. No biggy …. it is a bookstore and I am sitting on the floor leaning up against the shelf. There are bound to be people that want to look at the books on this very shelf. I can deal with this.
But anyone that’s ever spent any time at bookstores knows that there is an unspoken way of browsing in an area, where someone else has already set up camp. You look from a step back, until you see the book you want and if it’s very close to that person, you mumble “Excuse me” as you reach in snap it from it’s resting place. Immediately retreating to at least 5 feet away from the other person. In return, if the person that is camping senses that you really need to see the books that are now in your personal space, you skooch over. Everyone knows these international bookstore rules of behavior.
I hadn’t bothered to glance up to see who the legs belonged to, because that’s another unspoken rule. No eye contact unless you’re inviting conversation. Which I am clearly not doing. Please see my body language and position in the store. I have sought out the most isolated corner of the store, curled myself up into a cross legged position on the floor with a stack of books neatly set around me, like a moat of literature and I was not making eye contact with anyone. Not even the little gay boy down the aisle. The only thing I was missing were alligators and a “NO TRESPASSING” sign to make it any clearer that I was not there to socialize.
But the legs kept getting closer and closer. It wasn’t until they were about two feet away that I looked out of the corner of my eye to confirm that they belonged to a man. But I still did not look up. Looking up was bad. Looking up was asking for trouble. So I did the only thing I could do to keep my fortress of solitude intact … I skooched over about two feet.
Now I was clear of the bookshelf and there was no reason for someone to be any closer to me then they were now …. a good four feet away.
About five minutes later the legs were back. Inches from my book and a shadow had come over the pages ….. no, no, no …. please tell me he is not that bold.
“What’s that you’re reading?” He asked in a low deep voice that sounded like he was trying to be sexy. Yuck.
I finally looked up and saw the escalator dude. I gave him a flat smile, you know the kind that really just says, “Please leave me alone. I’m too polite to tell you to go fuck yourself so can you please just do it without me asking?”
I closed the book and showed him the cover, it was some lesbian feminist book. I thought he’d take a hint. Or twenty.
“Oh, is that for a college class or something?” He asked.
I groaned. You have got to be kidding me.
“Nope. I’m just gay.” I answered.
“What?! No, not you. Tell me it isn’t so that a pretty young thing like you can’t find a good man.”
I fight the urge to throw my book at him and gather my stuff to leave. I don’t want to get into a discussion with this guy about my sexuality because I have a feeling it’ll just turn him on.
I go to get up and he grabs my arm to help me up. I instinctively pull myself out of his grasp and give him a dirty look. I still don’t say anything and quickly walk away.
I’ve put all the books down but one, on butch/femme erotica and head to the front of the store to stand in line. I was hoping to make a quick get away but there’s at least eight people ahead of me. I take my place in line and an old woman gets in line behind me and the line quickly gets longer. I take a quick look behind me and don’t see him anywhere. I figure he’s got the hint. Finally.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m headed out to my car with my new book in my hands and before I can reach out to push open the door, an arm reached over my head and opens it for me. I turn to say thank you and see that it’s escalator man. Geez.
He smiles and says, “Maybe if more men treated you like this, you wouldn’t have turned gay.”
“Ha!” was my only response. I really just want to get away from him now. I really feel uncomfortable. There’s another door to go through and he pushes that one open too before I can.
“Maybe you just never had a man treat you the way you should be, maybe that’s all you need.” He says.
Oh boy, this is no good. My spidey senses kicked in about an hour ago but now they’re on full blast and I have flashes in my minds eye of this show Oprah did about listening to your gut and the last thing I want to do is have him follow me to my car.
So I turn on my heel and go back into the bookstore.
He follows.
I turn to tell him to stop following me, and he’s so close on my heels that he almost runs into me when I stop short. I say to him calmly, “Please leave me alone. I am not in the mood to talk to anyone.”
He smirks and says, “That’s fine,we don’t have to talk. We can just go some place.”
I look around for the security guard but don’t see him. I do however see two paramedics that seem to be on a break. Paramedics are heros by nature, maybe they’ll help me out. I go right up next to them and sure enough, escalator man is right on me.
He starts saying a bunch of dumb, innapropriate crap like, “You know the bible says it’s a sin. But I think two women together is a beautiful thing. But there still needs to be a man there.” “ All you need is a real man.” “Let me show you what you’re missing, let me take you to dinner.”
He keeps spouting stupid shit and I finally say to him, “Hey, leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to go out with you. I don’t want to talk about the bible or being a lesbian. I just want you to leave me alone or I’m going to call someone.”
“Why are you being so touchy? That’s the thing with you dykes, always think it’s all about you, it ain’t all about you lady.” His voice trails off because someone has finally decided to step in and try to help me. Out of the blue a short guy in a button up shirt steps in between me and the idiot.
My would be hero says, “Why don’t you leave the lady alone.”
Ahhh chivalry’s not dead. I am however surprised that one of the two, very buff paramedics who have been intently listening to all of this were not the one’s to offer any assistance. Instead it’s a short, chubby little guy that’s at least 4 inches shorter then me.
He has effectively cut me off from escalator man by placing me squarely behind him as he looks up and says again, “You hear me, leave. She’s here with me and I don’t want any trouble but I don’t mind it either.”
Whoa, the little guy is calling the big, creepy guy out.
Escalator man says, “She’s not with you. She’s a fucking dyke.”
To which my new hero says, “Yea she is with me and I’m the fucking dyke. She’s a lady. So say sorry or lets take this shit outside son.”
Screeeeeeech ……. what did he just say? Err … she say?
We all take another, closer look. The paramedics look over their books that they’ve been reading upside down for ten minutes and I look at this person again too, as does escalator man. But I see it first. How did I miss it?
I can barely make out her shape underneath her baggy clothes but it’s there. A woman’s curves. I look at the side of her face and realize there’s no stubble and other tell tale signs of estrogen.
I see confusion and then a slight hint of realization cross escalator man’s face. He shakes his head, scratches his head and says, “Fuck this shit, You people are sick” and he walks away.
She turns to me and says, “What an ass.”
I’m still shocked at the turn of events and I’m still trying to study her, because I had seen her several times earlier and did not think, for a second that she was anything other then male. But I manage to say, “Um, yea. Thanks for that.”
She shrugs and extends her hand for me to shake it, “D.J. Nice to meet you.”
“Sasha, nice to meet you too.”
She introduces me to her girlfriend who was only a few feet away this whole time, but I hadn’t noticed in all the commotion. Turns out they had witnessed most of the situation and when things started to escalate they both decided that D.J. should step in.
I would have done the same, I have actually. Whether it was me or Remi doing the saving, I’m always trying to help another female. I thank them both, hand them a card for Card Carrying Lesbian. They laugh and tell me they’ll check it out later.
Still worried a little bit about my safety, D.J. walks me to my car with her girlfriend’s blessing.
I keep an eye out in my rear view mirror for any car that’s been there too long. After a confrontation like that, you can’t be too careful. But thankfully, nothing more happened and I got home safe and sound.
I went to the one place I thought I would be the only gay person and not only was I not alone, but I was shown chivalry by a butch and her girlfriend. Wow …. I really love being a lesbian.
So sorry to hear you encountered such a persistent and ignorant asshole, especially on a day when you already felt vulnerable. So relieved to hear some family was there to assist in the most unlikely of places! You are kind and you look out for others, and karma is a sweet mistress to kindness…well, that, and lesbians just plain rock.
(And from one of the ones you can spot across a crowded room…please take care of you right now, and don’t be too proud to ask Remi to do the same.)
YAY!!!!!! What a GREAT story!!! You are such a fantastic storyteller. LOVED LOVED the ending! D.J. and girlfriend, if you’re reading this, thank you very much for helping out. Sasha could probably kick that guys ass herself, but I am so glad it didn’t have to come to that. It peeves me buffoons like that think so much of themselves they’re actually delusional. Who cares what they have to say? Poor Sasha, I hope you don’t let this encounter disuade you from venturing out. Thanks for sharing your, ahem, wild adventure.
4 inches shorter than you… and I bet you weren’t even in heels… lol love it. This made me really smile. We are sometimes too badass for our own good but I’m glad she did it. My dad always told me that one day my mouth would write a check that my ass couldn’t cash. But I’d rather take an ass whooping for a fine lady than let some douchbag arrogant man keep on like that. I wanna meet DJ and her girlfriend. They sound like good people. DJ also sounds like Texas butchie material.
Ya know another thing has been irking my nerves about this… how dare people say we are anything less when compared to men? A butchie risked her safety to help out a woman in distress. Neither of those paramedic men did anything. WHY? Because they had no chance of getting any pussy. Don’t believe me? I work with men all day… common men. Regular guys for 12 hours and I hear what they say about you ladies. They sometimes forget I am not a guy and it gets pretty disturbing. You are shit. You are meat. You are nothing more than the sum of your parts that they can stick their dicks in. They only do things to woo you so that they can fuck you. That’s it. I’m sorry they do not care about your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, your intellect, they just wish you would shut the fuck up and put a dick in your mouth. Their words, not mine. And yes these are your fathers, brothers, and sons with these attitudes. You have NO idea how men really are when you aren’t around. That douchbag showed his true colors as a man that day. I know it. No one can convince me otherwise. How dare anyone think we are trying to be anything close to what these pieces of shit are? You don’t see butchies persistently, arrogantly pressuring straight women. In fact many times we fail to ask out a femme for fear that she be straight and we might offend her. Straight women come on to ME not the other way around. Fuck the fuckers who compare us to men. That’s a fucking insult of the Nth degree.
“What?! No, not you. Tell me it isn’t so that a pretty young thing like you can’t find a good man.”
ARRRRGGGGGGAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Ok. Back to reading the rest! LOL
*sigh* for sweet helpful butchie!! Wow! Sasha this blog really had me on my friggin toes for your safety, girl! I have been in scary stalker situations that turn ugly…still recouping from it.
Thank the good Lord for BLESSING you with D.J. and her girlfriend during that time!
Wow! All the familiar tell tell remarks of an ignorant straight male… I am so sorry he harassed you like that! That’s disgusting! How he turned on you just solidifies in my mind the reason I myself shy away from men in public! All he did was treat you like an object and not for the amazing woman you are! Thank god for lesbians! That was sooo nice of that couple! I hope they read this!
Aww sasha next time you want to go out if you are feeling up to it give me a call and I can be your femme body guard and we can look at for each other!
“look out for each other” lol…. I hate typos.
Heh, I think Raye and I both have some Texas butchie love goin’ on…..
I hate ignorant people like that. And it’s not so much ignorance, I don’t think, that motivated him. It’s the fact that he just wanted to see you and your lady in action. Which is worse than ignorance. Because ignorance, you can at least plead…well, ignorant. Assholeness, you know exactly what you’re doing. This seems assholish not ignorant to me.
Glad D.J. and her girl decided to step in, even though you know full well you could have kicked his ass if you had to. It’s nice to feel the love from others sometimes.
Oh dear! That’s a good story!
But why do males seem to think that lesbianism is a sin and a threesome is perfectly fine because there is a man there..ugggh men.
Give me a good butch anytime!Plus it’s no fair that you seem to be a butch beacon…what’s your secret.
Hi Sasha,
This is D.J. & Bri. Wow, we weren’t expecting to look at your website and see this!!! It really cracked us up reading it. You made me look way cooler then I really was. We both saw him hitting on you upstairs and heard you tell him you were gay. At that point, we kept an eye out on you just to see what happened. But then he just couldn’t let it go and at that point, when you were practically yelling at him and no one was doing anything, I looked at Bri and she nodded. She knew I wanted to say something but needed her approval. Which she gave right away. She always looks out for other females.
So I just did what I would want someone to do for Bri if I weren’t around to defend her. Pass it forward, you know? And thanks to everyone for all the nice comments but it wasn’t any big deal.
We’ll def be regular readers of yours Sasha. Stay safe! Those bookstores can be freaky.
Oh one more thing! You weren’t 4 inches taller then me!!! LOL
maybe 3 1/2.
What a horrible story with a lovely ending!
Really enjoyed this story. I don’t think DJ and Bri posted such a humble reply above but I think they were brilliant. It sounded like a really intimidating situation to be in and they didn’t stand back and do nothing like most people would. I salute you both!
Ooops, meant to say that they DID post such a humble reply. They probably just didn’t realise how wonderful their action really was.
Thats just insane. It’s disturbing! I’m really glad D.J and Bri helped out!
There is hope for humanity after all.
Where do some guys get their sense of entitlement from?
And inability to pick up on social cues?
Ok, I thought the gf and I were gonna have our own version of the story on Saturday night, but the difference was that we were in a strip club, and not a library. I’d expect aggressive behavior there, but not in a chain retail establishment. Hell, even then, we managed to shut down two separate guys in a row fairly quickly and without all that drama.
Some dudes take lesbians personally. Would he have put forth a fraction of the effort had you been straight and offered up some other reason for blowing him off?
Thanks, D.J. and Bri. I hope because of what you ladies did, this douche will reconsider should he put his dumb ass in the same position a second time. A big dumb ego like that has got to be bruised after being put down by some lil’ ol’ girls.
Wow. Freaky story – I’m so glad it ended well and safely. Hurrah for chivalry! Really surprised the paramedics didn’t step in even though you were clearly in need of some back-up. ?
@ Melissa – “Some dudes take lesbians personally.”
Don’t they just?! And those guys are the most dangerous because they feel they’ve got to put one over on you to affirm that they’re ‘real men’. F**king creeps.
Raye: I was the only female in the service area when I was working for one of the car dealerships in town. With few exceptions, the guys I worked with were incredibly decent. I know that isn’t always the case but there are some out there. I had nicknames for all the guys on my crew and they loved it. They too, would often forget about me being a woman and I would get dragged into their shop talk. Fortunately, it was more about where they were taking their ladies on dates, or in the case of one of them, their upcoming wedding. Was it always nice? No, but none of them disresepcted women, they did, however, act inappropriately at times, mooning the rest of us, etc. I missed them when I was laid off.
DJ & Bri: Thank you for stepping in. You are my kind of people. My girlfriend is well endowed and is unfortunately often the victim of very unwelcome attention or unkind remarks. I step in when she asks me to, but I let her handle it first.
Sasha: I am happy you are safe. Don’t let this discourage you from venturing out. People are better off for having met you.
Omg, you have no idea how many guys have said that to me. The whole “maybe you just haven’t met the right guy” sh*t.
I’m generally an extremely laid back person & it takes a LOT to offend me, but that comment just cuts right to the core.
Jay, I am an ASE (also formerly Honda and Ford) certified technician and I used to work in service departments as well. However the difference in behavior there versus what I do now is that in automotive service, there is still customer and public interaction. SOME level of professionalism must be maintained to keep up the front for female customers. Also you don’t work rotating shift work for 12 hours at a time and practically live with the men. When stuff gets informal and no women are around (I am not female to them remember) on night shift, the truth comes out. Automotive service was different somewhat but even in automotive school I was harassed and filed a complaint about the language and behavior of the “men” there. It was so bad that I could not hear the instructor over the sexist and vulgar comments being made by my peers about the female staff in the offices. You know what was done about that complaint I filed? Not a damn thing. You know why? Because men run that school and don’t give a flying fuck. In fact just to piss me off further, they sent the guy I made the formal complaint about (who pushed my head down towards his crotch while I was working near the floor in the school in the shop) to work in MY dealership during his field week. Needless to say, he was not hired. But nothing was ever done about the instructor who tried to get me to go home with him and subsequently flunked my grades for a session when I refused. Fuck em. I don’t give a damn how many of them are decent. They are WAY too small of a minority. I won’t apologize for what I know. I have been around the block way too many times and I could regale you with stories for days.
Raye,
I get it and respect your experience. I should probably clarify, I worked in the service bay with all of the mechanics. We did not interact with customers. We processed and repaired new and used cars. And I rotated shifts, days and nights, to coordinate with my other job. Just sayin’, I had the opportunity to work with some men who weren’t first class pigs. I realize I was the exception and not the rule. One of the guys on the crew helped me land the job. It was just unfortunate that the auto industry tanked as it did and you know the drill, last hired, first fired, or I ‘d still be there. Several of the guys on the crew continue to keep in touch with me. It was definitely an eye opening experience for me. The only chauvinist I met there worked on the sales floor, not our crew. And our crew warned me about him right away. And it was one of our dumb ass salesmen who blew all of the electrical on a brand new truck by inverting the jumper cables. Duh.
My hat is off to you for trying to make things right. I am incredibly sorry for the ridiculous, outrageous treatment you have received. It is not ok and I certainly hope for better for you. As I am raising my son and I have an incredible father who supports me 100%, I have to look for the good ones when and where I can and leave the rest to their idiocy.
hi, i found your blog just a couple of days ago (i’m discovering all your old articles and i think i will come back quite often). firstly, i agree with everyone here to say that DJ and Bri rock for defending you against this creepy guy ^^
secondly, i wanted to react against phallocentrism. some straight men don’t have anything against gay men or the concept of same-sex attraction in itself, but just can’t understand how that applies to us dykes (i mean, there HAS to be a cock somewhere in the equation, right?).
“Tell me it isn’t so that a pretty young thing like you can’t find a good man” is a perfect example of this. it seems that for those people, a lesbian is so by choice, because she “couldn’t find [the] good man” she needed, so she went looking elsewhere. the fact that many straight girls i know use the “now i’ll become a lesbian” line (as a joke) after a breakup or a bad experience with guys also reinforces that stereotype. it’s like when folks say “such a waste” after a lez comes out to them, implicitly meaning that another woman is not worthy of her, as only a man can be.
(i won’t even get started on the common assumption that a “real man”, and especially his penis (narcissistic much?), can “bring back” a gay lady into the “right track” of heterosexuality.)
to many straight men, lesbianism is either a turn-on and an opportunity for a threesome with them (as they wrongly believe bisexuality is all about), or some kind of garbage full of women they consider ugly (as in, “not attractive enough for men”). it is infuriating that guys so often think that the world revolves around their phallus and that it gives them the right to question our “lifestyle” when they obviously never question their own entitlement.
PS : sorry for the rant, i just had to write my two cents ^^