Someone emailed this to me and I thought it was kind of funny. I don’t know the original source so if you do, feel free to leave a link in the comments.
Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Umm …. yea … God forbid we mess with such a perfect system.
You know, we laugh at number 3 and 5, and yet a Korean man has legally married a body pillow:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10467791-71.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuFyQjdt1d4
Ya know, this article is funny but it is also SPOT ON. It is so truthful that I don’t know how anyone can read it and not see the idiocy of the archaic attitudes which oppose gay marriage. Homosexuality has been around forever, as long as hetero even. Always under the table, in closets, bushes, and in the pitch darkness. Some societies, through the ages, were a little more open to it as long as it wasn’t flaunted. But my point is that it has always been around and it isn’t going anywhere. EVER. So why not just let it out into the light and accept it? Once upon a time, having children out of wedlock was a shameful secret that had to be hidden, because it was evidence the girl was “guilty” of having sex before marriage. Somewhere in our modern history, that judgmental attitude was wiped out, and the world didn’t come to an end just because women are choosing to have children with no plans to get married. I can imagine the zealots shaking their finger at me right now, saying, “it is a sin to be gay”. So okay. I’ll acknowledge that may be a sin FOR THEM to be gay, (hey, if they say it is, who am I to argue?), but why should their narrow minded, twisted beliefs be allowed to direct the lives of others, people they don’t even know? I get so frustrated I just want to see huge sand bags fall from the sky and land on them. It would be like scratching an itch to see that. If that makes me a bad person, then I guess I am.
My sister posted this on her Facebook page a while ago… months ago… it was super funny.
Like Rexie said… SPOT ON too.