Getting involved with emotionally unavailable women.
Yep, I’m sooo guilty of that it’s not even funny. But when I look at it from a deeper perspective I’m forced to admit that part of the reason I’m attracted to these emotionally distant women is because I’m as unavailable and cold as they are. If not more.
Not that I want to be that way, or that I try to be. In fact anyone who knows me would probably disagree with that statement. But that would only go to show that I’ve managed to keep them at a distance far enough away that I appear to be something I am not: emotionally available and secure in what I want and need. Nope, that’s not me. Objects in mirror are farther away then they appear.
Yet even with a moderate amount of self-awareness, I still find myself helplessly entangled with women that can’t offer anything more substantial than a maybe on a coffee date.
Which leaves me kicking myself for not falling for the nice girls that offer up on a silver platter everything I thought I wanted and everything I should want. But instead I’m stuck on stupid for all the wrong women, for all the wrong reasons.
Ladies, if you’re one of the nice girls and you’re reading this: run in the opposite direction next time you see me. I’m not being self-deprecating here for humor’s sake. I’m being brutally honest for yours. If you need a reminder take a look at some past blogs where I tell it like it is in Salvage Title Lesbians and the Top 11 Reasons NOT to date me… believe me girls, I held back. I’m sure there are really 111 reasons to cross the street when you see me coming your way.
Run, don’t walk to your nearest exit if you spot this damaged dyke at your local lesbian hangout.
You (not so secretly) enjoy being the unobtainable object. Those who are unobtainable aren’t carrying a sign saying “Caution: highly addictive with serious withdrawal symptoms” because we (yes, I’m in the category, sans sign) don’t get off on leading people on, and experimenting with hearts that we think will be THE one to change our ways. No, we fuck, and leave, and move on to the next making no promises.
It’s quiet possible your feelings for your ex are to blame for you turning into the exact same person to everyone else that she is to you. You view her a certain way, therefore you “mirror” that to others in order for you to be looked at with the same emotion.
At least you are taking some of the blame, you understand it’s YOU who puts yourself in these situations…and then you take it out on innocent victims because you can’t turn it around on the person it should be directed at… it’s a reckless cycle, and one only you can break.
You’re actually the first “emotionally unavailable” person I’ve ever met who ADVERTISED it. Usually people who are don’t even realize it, they aren’t self aware when it comes to that, because it’s something very deep within they’re doing to protect themselves, and as such they aren’t completely cognizant of it. So it’s very advanced of you to warn everyone who might want to be involved with you that they shouldn’t bother… but very unusual, to say the least! It also has the quality of a “preemptive strike.” But only you know what really goes on in your heart.
sorry for your troubles i hope you find someone nice soon
http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com