Um, Sasha, you did say you were taking off the kid gloves, didn’t you? : )

Please don’t give up on living.

The saddest stories I see are from those left behind- they never saw their loved ones as burdens, and it’s the ones they lost that turned out to be the reason they kept on living as whole beings.

I am saying all of this, because I feel that some things you have said are downright hurtful and even harmful to some sensitive people that are looking for support and friendship. Not to be talked down to.

You already know this, but I’m saying it anyway. You are fucking brave. You are fucking strong. And sharing right here on your corner of the blogosphere is making a huge fucking difference.

And you are so right about where you are – by standard “recovery” criteria, you’re in the damn stratosphere. You have an amazing wife and a very happy life – a life with some trials and tribulations, but yeah, who the fuck doesn’t have those? So ours are more challenging than your average Jane…and…? Doesn’t that make us that much more bad-ass that we can weather such intense storms and that we can be so self-aware?

Yes. Yes it fucking does. Keep on keeping on, sister.

How do you know that whatever your friends have, is exactly what I have, that their chemistry is exactly like mine? It clearly isn’t. You keep beating the same drum of all it takes is the right doctor and the right meds. But I’m here to tell you that does not work for everyone and if you can’t wrap your brain around that simple FACT yes I said FACT then that’s a you problem, not a me problem.

So for you to come on my blog, and talk down to me repeatedly and insult me but then to finish by telling me that you have nothing but respect for me is like peeing on my leg and telling me it’s raining.

I don’t censor my comments, as everyone knows, so if you have some come back, that once again beats that poor dead horse of yours, about meds and doctors, then be my guest. But since you don’t have it, nothing you have said or will say will carry much weight for anyone. But I have nothing but respect for you.

As fas as your comment about me not having it under control and who am I to give advice? Well a few things about that. What is under control? The meds just made me into a zombie can caused MORE suicide attempts. Is that under control? But since doing things the holistic way, I am no longer suicidal. Yes, I have some hard times, some episodes. But no medication out there, promises NO episodes, they simply try to limit them. So how is dealing with it drug free, any worse then taking harmful drugs? When the result is in fact, BETTER?

I also am happy now, have a healthy relationship and marriage, healthy happy friendships, spend my most of days doing things I love, like working on our house together, spending time with friends, my dogs, shopping, working out and writing? So I ask you, how is that not urn control? I challenge you to find someone, anyone, bipolar or not who doesn’t have ups and downslope yes, mine can be more dramatic. But medication, would not totally stop that. And if you believe that, that you need to do more research and not just the websites that are put out by the drug companies.

And as far as that “advice” I give out? Yes, how dare I tell people to research their medications. To know what the possible side effects are. Yes, knowledge is harmful, how dar I!? And how dare I tell them to take meds if it helps. How dare I tell people to not give up hope if they don’t work, how dare I tell them to look into nutritional supplements that their only real side effect would be shiny hair and nice nails if nothing else. Who do I think I am to tell people to exercise regularly because it releases endorphins. To meditate and try to calm down and to regain perspective. Yes, how dare I give this witchcraft advice!. Really?

Well anyone who has a problem with that sort of advice, really does have a problem. Maybe you should go see a professional…. I’m sure there’s a medication for that.

Thanks for being ever the outspoken supporter, with your own inside scoop.

For what it’s worth, I’ve never been on meds and it seems this may have much to do with my growing stability. While meds can be very helpful for short-term crisis use, beyond that they actually perturb normal neurological function and can cause the condition to worsen. Withdrawing from meds is something that MUST be done slowly and under strict medical supervision – but if it’s something your girlfriend would want to consider, there are some kick-ass alternatives out there. I’ve been following a very thorough holistic regimen since being diagnosed just over a year ago, and even though every psychiatrist I met with told me I’d never be stable without meds…well, here I am, doing better than ever and continuing to find my way toward wellness. It can be scary at times (though bipolar is scary even on meds), it’s a fuckload of work, and it’s a process that takes time to be sure…but it’s possible.

(Feel free to drop me an email or check out my resources page if you want more info.)

Its always good to get someones outlook on situations.. and thats exactly why i started blogging on sashas forum.. And I respect and try and have an open mind on all opinions given.. Umm I myself don’t understand the logic or science or whatever term you want to use with the whole bipolar/bisexual thing.. It was put in a good way when said your only bisexual when going through an episode.. Not trying to dicriminate the word bisexual, more trying to say thats the best way to describe what happens going through an episode..your going from a girl to a guy ‘hence’ using the word bisexual.. from my experience with my girlfriend of seven years she only ever thought about guys in more then a friend way when she started into an episode.. I honestly thought ok she likes guys, i didnt understand much at the beginning about bipolar and how it affected people living with it.. I have come a long way from knowing nothing to learning heaps and i will proberly keep learning.. and the way i find myself understanding it is by asking questions and even better asking people with bipolar .. I have asked a hell of alot of questions along the 7 year journey and have a great deal more of understanding on it. You said about some people not being on meds and such.. From my research there is bipolar 1, bipolar 2.. they differ a little from each other.. of course every individual will be different to the next.. my gf may have more of a severe case to the next.. whether because of the chemical make up in each indivdual will differ to the next.. and also the type of enviroment one is around. for eg.. being into drugs or being around stressful enviroments could make bipolar harder to deal with if that makes sense.. I found with my girlfriend staying on her medication and both going to councilling together made a BIG difference in her ways in everyday living.. In my situation now I broke that “normal everyday living” by letting some other girl into my head.. so its like for my girlfriend starting from scratch again trying to get back into normal everyday living again.. And I can tell you Its not easy.. but anyway its good to see everyones opinions on things.. thanks jul.. I hope what i have said makes sense..haha

You said, “Jul, I had no less then 6 doctors in a row tell me that. …. and I had two tell me they could “cure me of being a lesbian” once my bipolar was under control.”

I totally believe in your firsthand experience…did the experts you referenced “cure you of being a lesbian?” I didn’t think so. (oh no, did they! lol) Bisexuality is not in the Diagnostic Manual, and maybe it’s their opinion just like “curing you of being a lesbian” was. But, if it’s not the official criteria, it seems they have a lot of opinions on a lot of issues that aren’t well researched…like you being cured of being a lesbian. I guess we’d say that lesbianism is also related to bipolar disorder? I’d hardly think so…or maybe I have an illness I don’t know of.

I think to be honest, its the same way for bisexuality. It gets a bad rap all the time, and I think the lesbian community is not really understanding of it or tolerant to some extent. I’m not saying you, I’m just saying the community in general.

But hey, if you want to tell this chick or whomever that her girl just is into guys when she’s manic, it’s your call…everyone has the right to their opinion.

I have to tell you Sasha, since reading your blog more regularly, you (and others) seem to have the shittiest doctors I’ve ever heard about. For that, I feel badly. Like I said, I don’t have that issue, but I have friends who have Bipolar Disorder. Many never went on meds, saw doctors who were able to help them therapeutically(some take supplements and others don’t) and now, it’s not even a factor.

They don’t even write about it, talk about it regularly, etc…because it isn’t even in their life anymore. When I find people who are writing about it, blogging about it, etc…it’s a marker that it is still an issue in their life and still there, causing problems and not being treated properly. I don’t mean meds, I just mean that it’s not well controlled in someone’s life. It sucks, because clearly, it doesn’t need to be that way.

The thing that surprised me was that when the same person, who obviously does not have their own illness under control is trying to tell others the “right way” to approach things or giving advice, it gets interesting. Sure, they have “firsthand experience,” but they are not managing it well themselves. If they knew all the answers, wouldn’t it be better under control? Maybe part of their resistance is what is keeping them stuck and sick. Again, my opinion.

I wouldn’t take the advice of an asthmatic who is wheezing all the time on how best to control their asthma…I’d want to talk to the person who doesn’t even need their inhaler and a person for whom asthma isn’t even an issue in their life. That is, if I talked to anyone with asthma at all, and not some asthma expert. I guess that’s what I’d also want if I had bipolar disorder…not just someone to empathize with me. I know it can be comforting and even therapeutic for people to know that they’re not alone in their struggles…but I’d want to meet the person who HAS overcome it, who IS living a life free of symptoms and learn every secret she’s got. I’d be on her like a white on rice (and not in a sexual way…)

It’s not an attack, it’s just how “I” would approach it. I think when people just attack others who genuinely “might” know something, it’s interesting.

Isn’t it fascinating that I know people who have NO SYMPTOMS, and people just attacked because they didn’t like the perspective…not one asked how they did it. That is logic that perpetuates illness.

So, I have no reason to further comment on this stuff. I’m sure that will make some people happy that I won’t make them uncomfortable, but as for me, I like being challenged. I learn new things all the time…it’s a big warning sign when someone has nothing else to learn. They’re stuck.

You run a great blog Sasha, and I have nothing but respect for you. Mine is just a perspective, it’s not meant to be offensive to anyone.