So I recently came out to my church going sister ….. ummmm yea. It took me this long to tell her the truth because every time I got up enough nerve to tell her, she would start telling me about her church group or email me some Bible scriptures. So suffice it to say that when it came down to finally telling her, I was worried she would disown me as her sister.
I decided there was only one way to tell her I was gay: I made our mother do it. Yep, that’s right, this outspoken lesbian blogger asked her mommy to break the news to her sister that she was indeed, a certified muff diver.
Thankfully it went well. Obviously my sister didn’t even blink and was more like, “And what? So?” Cool beans: I still have a sister and now we can actually work towards becoming closer now that I can talk to her about my life. I swear, she must have thought I was half mute, because I never said more then five words to her for fear that I’d give away my penchant for the ladies. After all, my entire life revolves around being a lesbian, being around lesbians and writing about sleeping with lesbians.
She was extremely cool about having a gay sister but I still don’t think she was prepared for what just happened earlier today.
We were sitting in front of the computer, doing some last minute Christmas shopping online when an instant message from an ex popped up on the screen. It read, “When are you going to come over and sit on my face?”
I immediately clicked it off the screen but not fast enough for my sister not to get a surprised look on her face. I could feel my face flushed with embarrassment and worry. Holy crap! She just found out I was gay, she didn’t need a mental image of her little sister sitting on anyone’s face! Eeeeeewwwww. But before I could say anything another one popped up reading, “Seriously Sasha, let’s fuck.”
OK, this couldn’t possibly get any worse.
But she broke the uncomfortable silence with, “Ha! and dad still thinks you’re a virgin?!!! Hahaha!!!! I should tell him you’re a little slut! A gay, lush of a slut!”
The next thing she asked was, “So are getting trashed tonight or what?”
Wow. Guess my church-going-sister is a lot cooler than I thought.
I suppose we were both putting on a facade for what we thought the other one would approve of. How sad that we wasted so much time, when we could have been having fun together all these years. Instead of lying about my “boyfriends” and her “church meetings” that now I know is code for “the bar.” Ha!
That story is hilarious. I didn’t think of the potentially mortifying implications associated with IM!
Sasha, how the hell do all these funny things happen to you all the time? when i think of people doing dum or silly shit i think of nerdy or geeky people but youre pretty slammin. which i guess makes it funnier.
this is too funny! the truth is better than fiction. OMG i would have been so embarassed if that had of happened to me…talk about timing