Last night my girl and I were frequenting our (only) local gay dive bar in Redondo Beach called the Dolphin. It’s a little hole in the wall place with the charm of a neighborhood bar where everyone knows your name, even the tranny sprawling out on the pool table trying to look seductive.
We stumbled in there one night after trying to have a normal evening on Pier Street. But after getting tired of being stared at by drunk surfer boys and hit on by forty year old men, we left in search of a more gay friendly atmosphere. Enter the Dolphin. The only gay bar in the South Bay. If you’re not up for driving to Long Beach or West Hollywood, this is the best you’re going to do.
The moment we walked in we were greeted by flaming gay boys, a tranny named Diana and a hot bisexual bartender. The drinks are cheap, the atmosphere about as gay as it gets and no body cares if I make out with my girlfriend in the corner. It’s a safe refuge for us homos stuck in the middle of upper middle class white America … aka … the beach cities. Add to the list the fact that it’s walking distance from my gf’s house and you can pretty much guess that we quickly became regulars, on a first name basis with all the bartenders.
Last night I needed to discuss something with my girl that I knew, sober I would never get out all of the details. So we headed over to the Dolphin on a Monday night (yes I am aware that getting drunk on a Monday night is a sign that I may need a 12 step program) with the intention of getting slightly hammered, spilling my guts and then apparently, pissing my girlfriend off to no end. All of which I accomplished in record time. Thank you very much!
After telling her the sordid details of what I had to tell her (and no, that is not for public consumption) she was understandably irate. Her word not mine. But eventually with enough batting of the eyelashes, and some angry make-out time … you know, when you grab her by the hair and kiss her as hard as you can, hoping she’ll feel what you can’t say. Whether it’s anger or sorrow, some times that’s the only way to get the point across … but I guess it worked because she started to calm down, when a man walked up to us, cleared his throat (mind you, I’m in the middle of kissing my gf in an empty gay bar) waited for us to stop, look up at him with stunned expressions that any idiot could have read said, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
But instead of reading the signals he proceeded to introduce himself to us and then hit on us. WTF?
A few minutes later I realized that two other men at the bar were staring at us. I didn’t give it too much thought after all, this is a GAY bar. These men are probably GAY.
But moments later we were surrounded by them. Three, drunk, horny, straight men hitting on two lesbians in a GAY establishment. It’s not really hard to know it’s a gay bar, the huge rainbow flag that hits you in the face as you walk in is usually a good sign. Not to mention the clientèle is a nice mix of uber gay men, butch women and trannies.
Let me wrap this up. One guy was a dentist and he left after he realized that: 1. We really were lesbians and he wasn’t going to get anywhere. 2. That the hot bi bartender wasn’t working that night and 3. That he wasn’t going to be getting any from any one there that night unless he switched teams.
One down. Two to go.
Which left one harmless older man who kept wanting to buy us drinks and give me his credit cards. And a super creepy ass hole that kept trying to feel me up, put his hand up my shirt and even tried to kiss me when my gf was out of the room. Oh yea, he also challenged her to a fight right there in front of all of us. Again I say, “WTF?!”
I got tired of being hit on by him so I excused myself to go play with the jukebox. It wasn’t too long after that, the creepy molester dude slithered out of there without so much as a glance my way. I didn’t think much of it till later I found out that when I had left the room, my super cool gf told him that if he touched me one more time she was going to have to kick his ass.
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!! How hot is that?! The really hot part is that however she said it, he took her seriously and made a quick exit with his tail between his legs. Afraid of getting his ass handed to him by girl. As he should be.
My question is this: Did these guys really not know this was a gay bar? Were they really secretly gay but afraid to admit it? Did they really think they had a snowball’s chance in hell at sleeping with two lesbians?
Whatever. I don’t care. I just know that we go to the Dolphin to escape the attention of the straight world and to feel comfortable and safe to be as dykey as we want to be. We never expected to be surrounded by a pack of horny (questionably) straight men, grabbing my ass all night long.
So straight men, if you’re reading this and I know a few of you do. (It’s ok I won’t tell) It’s fine if you go to a gay club. We don’t mind. But don’t hit on lesbians. It’s bad manners.
Sorry that happened to you and your girlfriend, Sasha. What can I say? We see a beautiful women and all the blood rushes out of our brain.
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! YOU KNOW!!! what the fuck is a that?!?!?! why in the hell do STRAIGHT men go to gay ANYTHINGS??? i hate it when the whole gay thing came out it was bitter sweet, yea were gay so we dont get to go to str8 clubs cuz the STRAIGHT men think where sick ( mind you im starting to think thats just yet ANOTHER ploy to get us to sleep with them) but then we still had our get aways, you know the BIG GAY FLAG ON THE FRONT DOOR or in ALL THE WINDOWS. you know go here no one will judge you and everyone knows what your going thew and everyone is just intrested in being friends, (i blame bi-sexuals, straight men wouldent even think they had a chance if bi’s did not take them there in the first pace) man EVERYWHERE i go thats made for LESBIANS is now contamenated with breeders, theres always that pack of sick fucks kissing all the lesbians trying to just be left alone!!! we go there to be with each other, not to be with DIRTY ASS MEN!!! why in the fuck did we go in the fist place!! its not that gay people are everywhere, now a days its ….. “THE SICK FUCKS TRYING TO STICK THERE DICK IN THERE EAR” that are every where …..
I’m guilty. I’m a straight man who reads your blog all the time. I found it by accident one day doing a google search on shotguns and for some reason your blog about Remi came up. Congratulations by the way on finally pulling the trigger with her.
But what I was going to say was that some times we can’t tell if a girl is gay. You don’t look gay. Don’t get mad at me for saying that. But I saw your myspace page and you just look like a hot girl that any red blooded American man would hit on. But I can see your point being ina gay bar. They were out of line. Maybe you and your girlfriend should try down playing your looks. No. That’s not fair either. I guess you should just kick him in the nuts next time he tries to touch you again.
I think that Gun Guy has it right with:
“I guess you should just kick him in the nuts next time he tries to touch you again.”
God that’s all you needed when trying to sort things out with your girl! Perhaps it’s a sign that straight guys have been brainwashed by all the porn featuring supposed “lesbians”. Maybe they think that a gay bar is the perfect place to meet the lesbians that will make all their sexual fantacies come true! Silly hetero’s.
Not all straight men going to gay bars are that bad. Sometimes I go with by girlfriend to gay bars when she hangs out with her gay friends. Personally I like them better than a lot of straight bars, which can get pretty sleazy.
That said however, I find it offensive when guys try and hit on lesbians. It is just downright sexist and demeaning to women. Not to mention the fact that it gives the rest of us straight guys a bad name.
I totally agree with you Malachi. I have several wonderful, straight male friends who would never act like that either.
There are a few good guys out there, glad to know you’re one of them.
Sure the straight folks can come into the gay bars. Yeah. That’s fine…but have some friggin respect & recognize that you’re stepping into a GAY establishment.
This blog actually reminds me of the time Raye & I went to a straight bar for a karaoke night. This dude came up to us asking if we’d like to dance. HOWEVER, he was facing only me & looking directly at me. When Raye declined the dance he didn’t say anything further. But, when I declined he kept pushing me to dance. When Raye & I go out we don’t hide the fact that we’re a couple. But, the ignorant of course don’t care to notice! That crap really REALLY gets under my skin.
Way to go, Remi for tellin’ that dude off! Yes! HOT!!
I think gun guy is a textbook example of a straight male moron. Straight men think YOU should change your behavior to compensate for or prevent THEIR bad behavior. Fucking egotistical sonsofbitches.
SInce lesbians invade straight bars ALL THE TIME, straight proms, ALL THE TIME, and EVERY OTHER SINGLE STRAIGHT establishment, I think turnabout is fair play.
I’m a straight guy going on a date with a straight girl to a gay club for the dancing.
If a gay man should hit on me, what is the polite but firm way to indicate I’m straight?
I don’t want to make anyone feel bad nor do I want to not feel welcome.
many thanks.
Dear Ignorant Dork …. I wrote a whole blog for you
check it out on the front page. http://www.cardcarryinglesbian.com/http:/cardcarryinglesbian.com/featured/dear-ignorant-dork