OMG!!! Instant messaging with your ex, days after getting with your new girlfriend? Not the best idea. Who knew?
How can Mr. be mad at me when the whole time we were “dating” I wanted to be with her but she didn’t want a real relationship?! Yet now that I’m with someone else, she’s on her high horse looking down at me saying that I hurt her! Wait. What?
How could she be hurt when she told me repeatedly that she didn’t want anything more than friends with naked benefits? I can’t tell you how many times I was at her beck and call. For months, when this woman asked me to come over, I would drop everything and show up on her doorstep just happy to spend time with her doing nothing. Of course we both new that the night would inevitably end in bed.
Yet no matter how good the sex was, it was just sex and we both knew it. I tiptoed around conversations that had anything remotely to do with feelings or our pseudo-relationship. Knowing full well that she would either shut me down completely, making me feel like a needy wanna-be-girlfriend (which I was not) or she would say something so astoundingly hurtful that I would feel as if I had just been punched in the gut.
I remember telling her one time, “You probably won’t appreciate me until I’m gone.”
To which she responded in a flat, monotone voice, “What makes you think I’ll appreciate you then?”
Ouch.
In that moment I knew it was never EVER going anywhere. But I still stayed.
Why you might ask? Well for one thing I still fucking cared about her whether she cared or not. I was still madly attracted her. The sex was awesome. We had fun together … when we weren’t fighting. I was attached to her, despite all my best efforts not to be. So I stayed.
But a girl can only take so much.
So now I’m with a girl that doesn’t say hurtful things. She doesn’t play mind games. A girl who’s actions belie her words. Imagine that!
But in moving on I hurt Mr. Which even after all that’s happened between us, I never wanted to do. I still care about her and hate that she thinks I would do something with the intention of causing her pain. I would never and I’m sorry that is has.
I’ve heard of lesbians remaining friends with their ex’s … I hope it’s not just an urban legend.
Sadly it’s true. My current ex only has 3 good friends in her life and they are all ex girlfriends. She’s trying to go the same path with me, but I’m not walking it, even tho she has moved to a property in my face, I’m ignoring.
I’m trying to shag her off my mind, but sadly I think it’s gonna be sometime till I find a body to match hers.
It’s not an urban legend, but it is with me. I’ve never been friends with one of my exs…and I never will be.
Why? Because of crap like this…people get mad, and also, I think it’s kind of disrespectful.
After all the crap that Mr. put you through…I say, screw her. She didn’t think she’d miss you? well…it seems when something is out of reach, she’s yearning for it…and when it’s right in her pocket, she wants nothing to do with it. I’d block her, and leave her alone.
I was about to say “yep, it’s totally an urban legend” but then I had a think about it and perhaps it’s just that my friends and I have crappy luck. I was with my last girlfriend for three years. We had a good relationship for the most part…up until the last couple of months. We often said we’d remain friends no matter what. After the break up and several tear soaked meetings we gave up and went our seperate ways. Wish you luck though!!!
A little advice….ANYONE who can say something as arrogant and as low as this………
“What makes you think I’ll appreciate you then?”
….deserves defiantly not any of your time…not any of energy and Don’t feel in any way that you owe “Mr. Wrong” an explanation…..She obviously is STILL alone and will be for a very long time until she respects and loves herself therefor she can respect and love another.