After some conversation on the subject, it got me to thinking. DoI lead two identities? At one point the answer would have been yes. Having been in the military at one point in my life, I HAD to lead two lives. A hidden one, which was my gay life, and the “passing” one, which was one big cover-up. Even though I’m done with that part of my life, I still feel as though I do the same thing now, but not to the extreme as it used to.

I now am openly gay, but at times feel the need to put on my “straight” face. Be it to avoid judgement, to fit in more, or to just avoid making others uncomfortable. I do.

The community is making leaps and bounds with progress towards equal rights, and THIS makes me excited!! The ban on gays in the military (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell) is much like the ban of african americans at one point in the military, and before that it was for women in the miltary. The ban on same-sex marriage, is much like the ban proposed on interracial marriages at one point as well. Its all about progression. I just wonder what group is going to be societies “enemy” after we (lgbt) have finally won our fight.

So as far as what this blog says…. YES I do talk about being gay ALL the time, YES gay things pop out at me, and when i see them in mainstream (like Grey’s Anatomy Lesbian kiss) I get overly ecstatic! Because really when it comes down to it… when you speak to people that are “supposed” to be your friends, like the friend that brought this up to you, you are “supposed” to be able to be yourself….. RIGHT? So yes, when I am myself…. and allowed to be myself, without judgement…. I am very much gay!

Thanks for this blog Sasha, like I’ve said before, I’m pretty much hooked on this blog, and have found it to be one of my “daily reads”…. keep up the good work!

I wrote a post yesterday on identity here, and I came to the conclusion that the reason people don’t really mention or cling to their straight identity as such is that they do so in other ways – through their families, social circles, etc.

I think it’s hard for someone who hasn’t been through it to comprehend the utter joy of discovering something lesbian in the world – whether it’s a club, a group of people, a book, a film – because it seems like there’s so little of it (beyond the mainstream view of lesbians that’s so twisted). I was describing to my mother the other day the sense of overwhelming joy I got when I read Hood by Emma Donoghue, because as a 23-year-old lesbian, it’s not that I’ve never seen gay things before but it’s just amazing to read a normal piece of literary fiction about lesbians that is unapologetic, and even mentions sex in a way that lesbians can relate to (how many books by a straight man are going to talk about sex during menstruation?) Though I know a lot of gay men and a lot about gay male culture, I feel like lesbian culture is just really starting to get to the point of accessibility for those of us not in New York and California. I know a ton of bisexual women, but very few lesbians. Being able to watch After Ellen video blogs, for example, opens up a world of unapologetic lesbianism that I’ve never really encountered.

Bring it on!