In the aftermath of Prop. 8 the Mormon church has been brought to the forefront in the media for their huge financial contributions towards the passage of this prejudicial ruling.
The reason I bring this up is not only because like every other lesbian in the state of California it affects me for one more reason. I’m Mormon.
Wait! What????* Screeching sounds that I imagine are happening in some of your heads as you read that last statement.*
Yep, it’s true. My entire family is Mormon (LDS for you fellow Mormons). We’re so Mormon that I don’t even know how many generations that goes back, to the beginning I think. Not to mention that most if not ALL of the men (my dad included) went on their mission as well as many of the women in the family (except me of course). Today, most of my uncles hold very high positions within the church and my female cousins are dutiful wives with beautiful, church going families.
Suffice it to say, I don’t exactly fit the mold of a well-behaved Mormon girl.
Even though my parents have known for a few years now that I’m gay and they’re happy about it. I’ve put off telling the rest of my family for fear of how they would react, considering how conservative they all are.
But I always said that I would come out to them when I was in a serious enough relationship with someone that I loved enough, to risk being ostracized from them. Since Remi moved in I knew the time had come.
However, I took the cowards approach on this and first I told my favorite aunt who I knew would never disown me and probably just shrug and say, “So?”
Which is exactly what she did. She assured me that she still loved me, that she couldn’t care less and that she had pretty much already figured it out. Then she wanted to know how my gf and I were doing. Basically, she’s my favorite aunt for a reason … she’s cool as hell.
So after I came out to her, she asked me if she wanted me to tell the rest of the family. You see, they live down in the desert and I don’t see them very much. She lives next to everybody and truth be told, I think she enjoyed having a bit of juicy gossip to share with the family. When she offered to break the news I jumped on it.
Recently I found out that she had outed me (with my blessing) to my entire born and bred Mormon family.
What was their response?
Everyone was very accepting, supporting and down right fine with it. Nobody really cared too much. One uncle was a little surprised and said, “I thought she was getting married to a man?!” (That’s another blog.)
But overall, everybody still loves me, I wasn’t disowned and no body had anything mean to say. It was so not-confrontational or upsetting that I’m planning on taking Remi down for the next big family gathering.
My point of this blog is that I just came across Chad Hardy’s website. He’s a Mormon, well an ex-Mormon since he was kicked out of the church and his degree from BYU was revoked for speaking up for what he believed was right.
I try to defend the church in a way, because my family is Mormon and they’ve never shown an ounce of hate or discrimination towards me or anyone for that matter and I hate to have people look at them and judge them based on their religion.
But then I see what the church has done to Chad and it makes me really sad and hard to defend the Mormon church at all.
So in the end I guess all I can say is that I hope, even though it’s hard sometimes, that we don’t jump on the hate bandwagon and lump everyone together just because of their religion. What the church itself, as an entity might do is one thing. But there are people within that church that are not filled with hate and prejudice towards gays and lesbians.
Even though I haven’t been to church since I was a young girl, I was baptized in it and it has had it’s affect on me. I still don’t gamble and I have a weakness for macaroni salad (fellow Mormons will get that one).
At the end of the day, just remember … we fight not to be judged by others so in that fight for equality, let’s not stoop to the level of the very people we claim to be nothing like. Take each person as an individual …. give the same chances you want for yourselves and you might be surprised who you find standing next to you in a march for gay rights, or signing a petition or just standing up for you in the workplace.
Good people are everywhere. You just have to keep your eyes peeled.
(just realized that if they wanted to, I could totally get excommunicated for this … oh well!)
How the hell are YOUUUUUUUUU Mormon??!!!!!!!! I never would have guessed.
LMAO, I always bragged that I was F*ckin* a Mormon girl, lol. That was hot.
Sasha, I am so glad you have had a positive experience with the religious members of your family. I come from a fundamentalist baptist family (you know long skirts, long hair) and none of them speak to me regularly. I have frequently said that if I didn’t have children they would have no reason to contact me. I am always glad to hear about people who have positive coming out experiences. I really am ok with my decision, I have never been happier in my life. I just wish everyone else could be happy for me too.
This is directed to “TheX” if Sasha ever actually dated you, I’m baffled as to what she saw in a person that would leave such a vile comment about her. I’m surprised she would even post your stupid comment except for the fact that she seems to be against censorship even when it makes her look bad and to that I applaud her.
I still think you never really dated her and you just want attention or she left you and you’re bitter. Either way you should be ashamed of yourself.
Hey baffled mind your own business. Sasha knows who I am and she knows what I used to do to her. She posted my comment because she loves attention even the bad kind, just like I know she’ll post this one. Girls like her are easy to manipulate. The pretty one’s always are. Pretty and stupid usually go hand and hand.
I post every unflattering comment I get unless it crosses a line into hate speech because I don’t want my readers to have to read something like that. But I’m honest enough to write things that are super personal so I feel that I would be a hypocrite if i were to censor harmless comments, no matter how tacky. Not to mention that I believe my readers can see right through stuff like that and if they don’t judge me for what bitter ex’s have to say.
I wanted to say that I think I speak for a lot of Sasha’s readers when I say that comments left by any of her various ex’s never make us judge her or think less of her. I give her mucho credit for posting them, I don’t think I would! Hell, I know I wouldn’t but I’m not a blogger. She is and she’s a damn good one and thats why we like her so much. So anytime someone leaves her an inapropriate comment it just adds to the soap opera that is Card Carrying Lesbian. Don’t worry Sasha we love you! Well at least the one’s who haven’t dated you! LOL (Sorry!)
Dear Sasha what an incredible soul you are. When prop 8 was passed I prayed for people such as yourself would shine your light.
(((HugS)))k
To The X,
“Girls like her are easy to manipulate.”
And you’re proud of this? From my experience working with drug addicts, that a personality trait that goes hand in hand with addiction.
It looks more like to me that you’re doing this for the attention. Can you even come up with your own work or do you have to live off of the comments section of someone much more talented than you?
Sasha, I’m glad you have moved past that stage in your life and I appreciate you leaving the comments up there for us all to see what kind of person that one is.
Thanks for looking out for us other trusting lesbians out here!
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more in the future. Have a great day!
hey there sugar! awesome article.. sorry for the delay in commenting, been kinda out of commission. As for the tacky crap posted by ex s. Sounds like they do it because they want to horn in on what you have going that’s good in your life. Your blog is a inspirational point of light for people. They just want to soil something that’s so good for so many. Take care sugar and hug Remi for me.
c u on Twitter
Wow…you totally changed my image of a mormon. I had a supervisor who was mormon – he didn’t even drink hot cocoa….and well, you seem a little edgier than that.
It’s cool to see the diversity in the faith.
Thanks for this awesome post Sasha, I would NEVER have thought you were a Mormon! You are a pleasure to follow on your blog as your honesty, insight and willingness to bare your life and your soul never fail to impress me and my partner. We both wanted to say thanks so much for revealing your life and thoughts.
Being a lapsed Catholic, i too cannot ignore the influence the church had on who i am today and the influence on my values and social justice beliefs. Just because you don’t practise and don’t believe in a lot of what the church stands for, doesn’t mean you don’t take away the “good” stuff you got from it as you grew up being a part of the religion.
I have been following you since just before you and Remi hooked up but this is my first time commenting. You do leave yourself vulnerable to the nasty comments of exes and other women who want to date you now, but i really admire your dedication to your blog. Sometimes i think some of those women comment simply to mess with your mind (and Remi’s).
keep up the great writing……