Earlier today I was shopping at Targay when my friend Amber sent me a text that read: I have something for you to blog about! When she’s right she’s right … and this is the topic that was on her mind.
We all know one, or ten … a straight chick that loudly proclaims she’ll just “go gay” when she’s finally tired of being treated like crap by men. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like an insult to me. Why on earth would I want every other man’s sloppy seconds or a woman that thinks I’m her last resort?
Granted, there are lots of women that started off dating men thanks to social norms and just the plain old coming out process. But when an obvious, died in the wool straight girl claims she’ll turn into a lesbian as a last resort is really just saying one of several things:
1. “I’m such a huge whore, I’m bound to run out of men soon. So when that day comes I guess I’ll have to move on to women.”
2. “Someday I’m going to grow a backbone and not want to be treated like a second class citizen but not today.”
3. “I’m never really going to go gay, but if you get me drunk enough I’ll probably sleep with you.”
I’m in agreement with Amber that it’s just plain silly for straight chicks to threaten to go gay. Who are they trying to scare? Their boyfriends? Who after hearing that empty promise are already lost in a daydream that involves two women and their sorry asses.
Or are they trying to scare us? “If some man doesn’t hurry up and marry me, I’ll be your problem soon!” Boo on that. The men can keep them.
Or are they giving themselves a gut check? Maybe saying it out loud lets them pretend that they’re dipping their toes in the lesbian wading pool, without any real consequences either way. Their straight girl version of playing chicken with a lesbian.
Well, either way I have this to say to any heterosexual woman who uses the possibility of “going gay” as nothing more than a lack luster attempt at shock value: Quit it. It’s old and played out, just like you. I don’t want your skanky ass that’s slept with more men than you can count. I don’t want to be your experiment, the spice in your dull marriage or your first girl-on-girl experience. Let the men deal with you because I’ve got plenty of dyke drama on my own without having to worry about angry boyfriends. So good luck to you and your pseudo-sexual confusion.
I agree with you 100%. Straight women are always moaning that their men don’t know how to communicate. It seems after they’ve hit this “wall” for the Nth time, the women declare, I’ll give “Lesbians a try”. As if we’re a ride at an Amusement Park ! The next time someone blurts this out, I want to reply with, “Can you handle the pussy”?