Desire is something that should be almost irresistible. When you meet someone that you just have to have, you just have to touch, to kiss, to be with … it should be almost painful to abstain from any of those things.
But what about when you meet someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel comfortable and makes you sort of want to make out with them? I mean it seems like the next logical step. For all intents and purposes you should be all over each other. But for some unknown reason, you’re not. She’s in her seat and you’re in yours. Neither one of you groping the other or trying some acrobatic sex moves while driving around town. Nope. You’re just driving.
But what the hell went wrong? On the phone it’s all hot and heavy and don’t even get me started on the X rated text messages. If your real dates were as hot as your text dating, you’d be fucking each others brains out by now. But for some reason when you’re face to face, all that fire just sort of fizzles to an awkward friendship that you both hoped would be more.
But now you’re a little more than friends, but not quite dating either. You’re in this no-man’s land, the purgatory of sexual tension where dates go to die. You’re both looking for a way out but there doesn’t seem to be any. Heaven would be that all of a sudden you look at each other and want to rip each other’s clothes off … and then actually follow through on it. Hell is where you say you’re just going to be friends and then never really speak again. But instead you’re stuck in purgatory where you can’t kiss each other, but feel guilty if you kiss someone else. Ughhh!!!!!
This doesn’t really have a moral lesson attached. It’s just a rant on a not-so-hypothetical, theoretical situation…. how’s that for a non-committal confession? Hahaha … well, you should know me by now. Any thoughts? Not that I’m going to actually take any sound advice because that would be too easy.
But I do have a question: Is there a window of time where if you pass it, you automatically slip into platonic-ville? Or is the window for nookie never really closed?
I think this is definitely a caveat of new technology. Texting and emailing is addictive because it’s a solitary act that allows you to feel you’re connecting with someone else. At bottom though, it’s pretty self indulgent because it doesn’t require real interaction with another person. You can just fill in the blanks about how that person would act, what they would say and do, and fantasize about them as you would like them to be. But once they’re in the room with you, you’re dealing with the real person, and the fact that maybe they make a stupid joke you don’t like, or they have a piece of food stuck in their teeth or they’re just not exuding the “sex vibe” you felt so sure they would when you were texting each other…it can cool a person’s ardour pretty quickly. I think it’s been hard for everyone to navigate these new forms of communication, and it probably will be for quite a while.
window for nookie never really closed? huh? is that an oxymoron? have you two (i’m assuming this not so hypothetical theoretical situation involves you) tried blindfolds? that’s pretty hot!
My advice, grow some bawls. This is clearly flirting 101, and someone has to have enough guts to make the first physical move. ANYONE can text dirty, or flirt in cyberspace. The true test IS when you are face to face. So if you both fall flat, something is clearly missing, OR you aren’t comfortable enough to make the move. I don’t usually find myself in this predicament however I imagine alcohol helps.
I do believe there is a window, on one hand you can build it up so much that the reality never has a chance. On the other hand, it can fizzle and the opportunity is missed completely.
OMG, I just went through this same scenario! I feel Maggie nailed it. When you are in their physical presence, someone has to take a chance. Probably each of you were WAITING for the other to make the FIRST move. As far as a Window … If you both txt that you’re still attracted to each other, then be BOLD, set the Tone & Lead. Otherwise, it’ll fizzle to disappointment.
I limit the amount of phone calls or texting/e-mail until I know the chemistry is right in person. It’s easy to flirt with someone through e-mail but it’s different when you meet them in person.
janet
Yeah, I hate that. In fact, I have a friend coming to visit where the online communication has been a bit like that for a while, but I stink at making moves so I get the feeling it’ll end up being a great friendshippy visit but… without the lesbian sex. I like the lesbian sex!
I wanted to say thank you for commenting on my blog! It’s always great to get a new reader when you’re a babyblog
Being just “gay” does simplify things. I have to ask though, out of curiosity, have you lived in Romania or is that just your heritage? I’m a bit fascinated with that part of the world and my friend Robin just got a chance to visit Romania, Bulgaria, and Hungary – everything she told me about it was exactly what I’d imagined, and now I’m jealous. Haha.
I actually was going to comment on your most recent post but I have so freaking much to say on it that I’m going to write a post on the subject myself. Thanks for the inspiration!
I say you just go for it. One kiss is all it would take to find out if there’s more than just TEXT between you. LoL!
If it doesn’t spark…no loss.
Having a weird moment here. I commented on these blogs…came back to comment on some more and all my previous comments are gone! WTF? LOL. Bermuda comment moment or something more sinister?
OK, nevermind…I’m awaiting moderation.
LOL!
Don’t add these stupid WTF comments please? LOL! Knowing you…you’ll add them. Ha!! BLOG ON BABY!!
“Bermuda comment moment or something more sinister? ” ….. HAHAHAHA ….. and ….
“Don’t add these stupid WTF comments please? LOL! Knowing you…you’ll add them.” …. Well I will now!
LMFAO!
I knew you would. God…I’m such an airhead sometimes! :p
I do not believe this
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