Maybe my blog yesterday should have been called “Confessions of an Occasional Pillow Princess” … contrary to how some of you took that blog I am actually not lazy in bed. I swear, just ask Remi.
In fact just today I felt the funk lift and all of a sudden I wanted nothing more then to tie her up and have my way with her. Except she’ll never let me take it that far, but you get my point. My days of feeling blah –> don’t touch me, and if you do, don’t expect me to do anything back, are over. I feel like myself again.
Also I have to say that a few comments left about what the hell is wrong with me and how or why does my girlfriend put up with me hit home a little hard. After reading one of them I took my laptop into the bathroom and sat down to read them to Remi. Because like the awesome girlfriend she is, she’s re-caulking our shower while I sat in the room looking for the best buy on a strapless stap-on (expect a customer review on that one soon).
So as she worked and I read, I asked her, “Am I really that bad?”
Totally expecting her normal supportive response to be something like, “No of course not baby, they don’t know you, don’t pay attention to what they say.”
But instead I was met with silence followed by a long slow, “…..Wellllllllll……”
I pouted and left the room.
She called me back, told me to take a seat (on the toilet) and hear her out. For once I actually did what she asked.
Basically I am that bad. Sometimes. Apparently she really does think I have mild turrets and even admits to telling herself, “Its an illness, she can’t help herself” when I spout off.
She also asked that I try really really hard to think things through before I let them come rolling off my tongue. Huh … guess she wants me to use that edit button between my brain and my mouth more often. But first I have to find it. It may be broken, rusty, dusty or maybe I never had one to begin with. I blame my mother for that one. She’s worse then me.
But faulty genetics are no excuse for bad manners or thoughtlessness towards one’s girlfriend.
So I hereby pledge in front of all of you to take a deep breath before I speak, reach deep deep down for that little button that may or may not be there and hold my tongue. Or at least as my girlfriend asks; word things more carefully as to not totally throw her into a state of shock and horror. But instead to try to be diplomatic and think about what I say before I say them.
I already see a problem with this before I even set it into motion. Herein lies the catch: I actually do think about things before I say them and I either A) don’t think it sounds as bad as it really does or occasionally B) know it’s going to sound bad but want a reaction out of her bad enough to be willing to risk it.
So you see my issue here is that what some say about me may indeed be true: I am occasionally either temporarily stupid or just plain bratty. Neither one of those are very attractive attributes and I really do need to work on them.
As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”
So in applying the Jedi master’s instructions towards being a better lesbian: I just will be a better girlfriend from now on. Try not. Just do. Yadda yadda yadda …. may the force be with me.
Haha, you got a “Welllllll….” The worst!!!
I have a similar problem, in terms of a lack of an edit button. And I wonder, am I just so dumb that I didn’t realize how mean that was, or am I just evil?
But I have gotten better…after several months of trying. No offense to Yoda but there is lots of try, and lots of fail. For every time I communicate like a rational and compassionate girlfriend there is another time when the bitch comes out. It helps me when I take a breath and wonder what effect I’m trying to have. (Like, if I want her to go dancing with me, and I’m angry because she won’t go, is calling her “ungodly boring” for not wanting to leave the house going to accomplish that aim? No, it’s going to make her sad, and then we’re going to fight, and then I won’t even want to go dancing anymore, and I’ll STILL be angry that we’re not out dancing, etc.) And even if you are playing nice and keeping your Evil Princess impulses at bay, your relationship is still not going to be perfect and tension over communication is still always going to come up.
At least you are willing to do something to fix any problems you two might have. I had an ex who’s edit button NEVER worked…at least with me. To everyone else she was an amazing thoughtful person but behind closed door was a different story. I told her on many occasions that I did not like the way she spoke to me and she would laugh it off and say she was just playing. Honestly i have a thick skin and it takes a lot to upset or offend me but it wasn’t so much what she was saying that bothered me after awhile it was the fact that she continued to say these things after many long drawn out even tearful fights about it. I tried to make the best of that relationship for a year and a half….then she put her hands on me. It took me 6 months to finally get away from her and a lot of work on my part. She alienated me from all my friends and most of my family but I got away. Its been almost two years and I have found the love of my life. She treats me better than anyone ever has and makes me want to be a better person. Sorry I’m rambling I guess I need to go check my edit button lol. I hope everything works out for you and Remi…As long as you are both willing to do the work it should be no problem
A few questions/thoughts:
1- Why wouldn’t Remi let you tie her up? Come on, that’s fun.
2 – A strapless strap-on, is tricky business, if you want my thoughts on one we tried that kind of sucked (so you don’t have to try, spend money and have it suck) feel free to email me.
3. If you find one that works out…..def. post.
Glad you guys are back on track…it sucks to have that “weirdness,” but it’s true…there is a cycle. You just have to be patient enough for the upturns, keep it hot, and take initiative.
I fucking love Yoda and I have that poster up on my wall!!! Er wait, maybe that’s why I don’t have a gf?
Guess Remi has something no one else does to make you at least try to be a better person. My friends all warned me about you and I didn’t listen. I wonder what Remi’s friends think of you and if they warned Remi too?
You guys really have something. WTF is up with the RUDE comments!!??? Last I checked you were being EXTREMELY open with all of us (some where deep down inside whether we want to admit it or not, we’re f*cked up too!!!) You have the stones to come on here and admit it to…all of us! You’re my hero Girl!
My well thought out comment went right out the window. ANYWAYS. It’s amazing that you guys can eventually get to such open communication. At almost 5 years (March 14) and a little over 2 married, communication is what’s kept us together (through all kinds of other missteps (mostly mine). And we are completely honest, be thankful you guys are already at that point….
Sasha’s where’s my daily fix? You haven’t written in a few days and from your tweets it sounds like you’re sad or mad? Hope everythings ok.
Doh!
Hey at least she was honest and told you. Hell I would have told you long ago, like say, after your first wordfuckup.
I don’t think you have an edit button. I still think you need to work on the Sasha Manual and maybe a Sasha Dictionary to go with it?
I’m with Dawg on this one Sasha, I would have put you in your place a long time ago. Maybe you keep pushing Remi’s buttons because she doesn’t keep you in check the way you need/want to be? Is that it? I would love to hear from any other butches you’ve dated if you acted like this with them?
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