Written by Guest Butch, Raye
A couple of years ago my friend Stacey (queen of the straight chick rodeo) blogged these rules for lesbians who chase after straight women. I thought they needed a re-up. It’s great info and quite insightful. Enjoy.
Rule #1: If you’re her friend (and want to stay that way) or you hope to maybe be her friend, you must be extremely cautious. Make your feelings known too soon (and without proper research) and she will run. And she may never trust you again. Friendship, or hope thereof, gone.
Rule #2: Let her make the first big move. Believe me, she will. And the beauty is that it’ll be all her idea. Then you follow her lead. She’ll quickly let you know where the boundaries are.
Rule #3: Boundaries change without notice. What was ok yesterday may not be today or what was not yesterday may be ok today. It’s confusing and you may feel like you need a score card. Don’t take it personal; it’s just the way straight girls are.
Rule #4: Her signals may not be exactly what you think they are. She leads. You follow and end up at a dead-end. Shut down. It’s like rimming a slam dunk. Not pretty. Be very careful and make completely certain that you know where she wants you to go. Reference Rules 1 – 3. Note: The consumption of alcohol tends to make things even more confusing than they need to be.
Rule #5: When they say all the “right things”, be skeptical. It’s not that they’re lying or being intentionally dishonest. It’s just that they don’t realize the impact their words can have. If you dare to believe, you will end up heartbroken. This I guarantee. I’ve heard just about everything – I love you sooo much. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. Please don’t ever leave me (3 in a row have hit me with that one). We would be perfect together. If only you were a man, you’d be perfect. You’re the only person who I’ve believed when they told me that I’m beautiful. You’re my soul mate. I can’t imagine my life without you. I’m going to leave him (NEVER believe it). Sex with a man will never be as good as this. Yada, yada, yada.
Rule #6: Straight girls get “straight girl” guilt. Call it “Buyer’s Remorse”, if you like. It’s that feeling straight girls get the morning after. It’s when they realize what they did the night before. It might be just a kiss or something more, but they’re going to feel incredibly guilty. If there’s a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband in the picture, you’re screwed. It doesn’t matter whose idea it all was, it’ll be your fault when all is said and done. Usually this guilt leads them to bare their soul to the significant other. Unfortunately, the version of the truth that they tell is one that suits them. It’s enough of the truth to assuage their guilt, but not enough to acknowledge that they were a full participant in the situation. You’ll end up a predatory lesbian who wouldn’t take no for an answer. She, of course, is largely innocent. The result? A difficult friendship because Boyfriend doesn’t really want you anywhere near his girlfriend. Nasty interactions with said boyfriend (either via telephone, email, or in person). Oh, and the potential exists for personal protective orders.
Rule #7: They may say that they prefer kissing/having sex with women, but they always go back to men. It doesn’t matter how good at it you might be. This can be incredibly frustrating when they talk about the dismal sex they have with the Boyfriend. You can’t explain it so don’t even try. Apparently there’s more to being straight than good sex.
Rule #8: When all is said and done, straight girls are STRAIGHT. If they weren’t we wouldn’t want them like we do. They wouldn’t be as beautiful, intriguing, or challenging. They’d be gay. Lesbians. It doesn’t matter how wonderful or how good you are – you are never going to convert a straight chick. They may attend the occasional service at your church, but they will never become a regular member of the congregation. They may swim in the kiddie pool, but they will never swim in the deep end. They may play in the minors, but will never make it to the majors. Pick whichever analogy works for you. The result is always the same – straight girls stay straight. They see themselves spending the rest of their lives with a man. Much as we see ourselves spending the rest of our lives with a woman.
Rule #9: You’ll never finish any higher than second place. And, in love, if you aren’t first, you might as well be last. If she has a boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc you are not going to win. No way. Never. Resolve right now that you are just playing. And not playing to win. If all you want is the trophy, a notch for your belt, a rack for your wall… you’ll be ok. If you don’t like the chase, don’t even bother. Chase is all you’re going to get.
Rule #10: Under no uncertain circumstances whatsoever are you to fall in love with a straight girl. Don’t do it. She may love you and even be in love with you, but it won’t change anything. You will be left empty handed and heartbroken.
You couldn’t have told me this 7 years ago? LOL … actually, I followed ALL of these and still got my heart ripped out, stomped on, stapled back together and then ripped apart again. After my 2 straight girl experiences nothing became more unattractive to me then straight women.
Now my best friend is a straight girl and if anyone ever tries to turn her, they’ll have to go through me first! I know first hand how fucked up everyone can get in that sort of situation and there’s no way in hell I’d let her go through that.
Straight women are straight. We need to just let that go. There are PLENTY of amazing gay and bi women out there to keep us more then busy with love and drama and heartbreak. We don’t need to make things even harder on ourselves, do we?
I can say most of my close friends overall are straight, and the females out of the bunch have never really been attractive to me “in that way.” I can list any of their positive features both as people and physically, but the idea of them romantically just doesn’t even come up in my head – and maybe that’s weird?
I think I have to have a sense that someone might be into me first, and I guess I’ve never had a bonafide straight chick do that before. I could see it being especially heinous when one of them initiates the option, though, and for a young lesbian or bi chick, man, yeah, that could be an easy trap to fall into.
I definitely have SEEN it happen before and heard the horror stories. It pretty much all boils down to an unhappy woman looking for a way to augment, but not replace, her relationship. A chick is going to LOVE the attention she can get from a lesbian because for the first time, it’s gonna be from someone who “gets it” from her perspective instead of treating her like a complicated gadget and just trying to hit all her buttons in the right order. Ironically, that new extra attention sort of enables her to stay with her man because she’s no longer having to go without what he won’t give her.
As a butches only, please! femme, I find straight girl idolization really frustrating. There are plenty of femmes to go around. We are often mistaken for straight gals and chased by straight men. Butches probably aren’t so happy about the fun straight men have trying to flip a lesbian femme.
Also: we are just as beautiful, intriguing, and challenging as any other woman.
xo!
I totally agree squeak. I have never understood the fascination with chasing straight women. I guess that is why I so often would be unlikely to hit on a femme whom I thought might be straight. The problem is that the femmes were not the ones coming on to me… the straight women were. However, if I know you are a femme… ya know some sort of clue, I will choose a beautiful femme over a straight or bi chick any day of the week. My friend Stacey was notorious for being a straight chick chaser and most of the time she just created problems for herself. But then again she lived in BFE East Texas and came from a big city so she was likely compensating for the lack of femmes out in somewhat rural Bible belt East Texas. Lesbian femmes are waaaaaayyyyyy more intriguing to me. But these rules are more of a warning than an encouragement to chase straight women. It really isn’t worth it. They aren’t that special.
*ahem* just avoid a friggin straight girl at all cost!
some girls are straight ’till they’re not, but i don’t like being the science experiment. now for all playing purposes it’s quite a relief because i don’t want a relationship at all and she’s just experimenting anyways LOL!!
BUTCHIES PLEASE STOP DATING STRAIGHT GIRLS!!! Femme girls love you! we are perfectly happy settling down with YOU! like Squeak said we are beautiful, intriguing, etc! Love US! Chase US we relish in the thought of a hot butchie chasing after us!!
lol..well i do
Oh dear. As a supposed “straight girl” I’ve had a crush on my lesbian friend for about three months – I’ve known her for a year.
I’m divorced, haven’t dated a guy since my divorce two years ago. I have never hinted that I am anything else but straight, nor have I ever flirted with her. Reading this just makes me think that if I ever did let my feelings be known she’d just think I was playing anyway.
Anyway, the reason I haven’t told her my feelings is because I don’t have any reason to think the attraction is mutual and would rather keep her as a friend than scare her off.
….oops! Somehow, I managed to find (wait for it) a straight BUTCH (well, butch appearing) woman. There are a lot of challenges in pursuing a relationship with a straight woman, but we’re going on three years strong, and I didn’t hit any of these obstacles.
Maybe it’s the Texas girls…or maybe I just got lucky!!
It’s frustrating for me too when butches like straight women… I wonder if it is a similar feeling to how boyish girls feel about straight girls liking men?
Thankfully I have never messed around with a straight girl… I know that anyone I’ve know who has has ended up in a whole mess of trouble if there were any feelings involved.
As a straight girl I sort of feel like I would want to be with someone who is the most caring and loving and who I have the strongest connection with, regardless of gender. Maybe that makes me NOT soooooo straight. But, I also don’t like fooling people around, girl or boy. If I was interested in dating a female, I wouldn’t make a move for her until I was single, and would only be with her when we are together. I may be the exception to the rule, or just really open minded in general, but I really think that a strong relationship can be based on the content of a person, regardless of looks and gender. I’m also weird in the sense, that just hooking up with someone to get my rocks off is, is always really unfulfilling. Soooo I guess what i’m getting at is some straight girls are really unhealthy to get involved with, while other might be more “flexible” when it comes to good old fashioned “Love”……
“If having another chick go down on you makes you come, you ain’t straight!” A phrase coined by a friend who dated a “straight” woman for a year, caught her cheating with another woman, then watched her deny any attraction to women after she went back to an old boyfriend. Umm, yeah.
It doesn’t really matter whether chicks like that or their “curious” counterparts identify as straight or not, what they really are is mean. You don’t mess with someone’s heart.
I agree with Squeak – there are plenty of “beautiful, intriguing, challenging” bi girls and lesbians out there. Are we somehow less desirable than straight girls because we’re available and actually want you? If so, that sounds like an issue better addressed in therapy rather than between the thighs of some straight chick.
(And cheating with a straight girl is still cheating…they don’t get a pass just because we don’t have a dick!)
I just never understood a gay person’s attraction to someone straight. This phenomena is seen in both genders. My sassy gay manfriend, who has been gay all of his life and then some, told me that, in general, a straight man is a gay man’s dream. I’ve never heard the same said for lesbians, although I have known quite a few to pine over their straight, married friends. Is it a fantasy? If so, WHY? For me, attraction always begins with someone who is available in all ways – emotionally, spiritually, and relationship status. No matter how appealing someone is, I just won’t go there if they aren’t clear in all three areas. I avoid heartbreak and won’t voluntarily walk into a situation that is a big risk. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had my heart crushed – much to the contrary. There’s always a risk of heartbreak when you make yourself vulnerable enough to fully engage, but it’s just plain masochistic to walk into a situation where the odds are that high. Sure, you might get lucky and that rare chance of bliss may work out, but why risk it when there are so many other “available” women who need and are looking for love, too?
I feel like I have to chime in here. I was in a relationship, married and living the straight life for the past 14 years. It was terrible, i was miserable, i had absolutely no clue why – and I had no clue that I was anything but straight. I met and fell in love with my girlfriend last year. She had a crush on me and chased me big time. I let her. For the past 8 months, it has been absolute bliss. She has filled a void in me that no one else could… she helped me to realize who I am and has helped me to put all the pieces of my life together. Everything makes sense with her, I’ve come into my own.
I felt trapped and unhappy in my marriage.. and i was always looking for something more. Who knows, maybe I would have realized that I was gay eventually….
But I’m glad she chased me.. that she didn’t follow the “rules”, that she opened her heart to me and let me in. I am no longer unhappy, I feel fulfilled now, in a way that I never have before.
I guess reading this, I felt a little insulted because I’m not playing games here… I never felt this “straight girl” guilt.. and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. hhmmm… maybe because I was never straight to begin with? Had she not chased me, I don’t know if I would have ever really known.
And for the record.. to address rule #7 – No, I will never go back to a man. Just the thought of it turns my stomach… which seems a little weird for me since I’m 33 and my 2 previous relationships were with men!
Moral of my story – not all rules are meant to be followed! And I’m sure as hell glad that my lady didn’t follow them!
Dear Bliss after straight,
I am thrilled that you’ve come to your senses and fallen in love with a woman
….. I don’t think there is any need for YOU to be insulted by this tongue in cheek article, since I don’t think it actually has anything to do with you. Because you my dear seem as un-straight as they come. You sound GAY, it just took the right woman to make you realize it.
Congratualtions on your new found love, I wish you both the best of luck.
I couldn’t agree with you more Sasha. Like I said. Some girls are straight till they’re not. Meaning, they never knew or the opportunity never presented itself for them to completely figure it out.
I’ve had plenty of LESBIAN friends go through that self-discovery.
A lot of us have experienced “chasing straight women” at some point in our lives and were left with heartache in the end because…well…she was friggin’ straight!
AHEM! Lol, Not ALL these rules are true. I had a fiance and I did fall in love with a gay women. It took some time to realize which route I wanted to proceed but when I did decide, I came home and confessed the truth-THE WHOLE TRUTH. I never blamed her for my actions or painted her in a bad light only that I didn’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t met her. It didn’t work out with her but I did not run back to my x fiance or any man for that matter. I stood my ground and have been basking in my new found realization ever since. I definetly have changed the way I look to better suite my style but I’ve been told often that I’m cursed with the “You don’t look gay” look which makes for really long pauses in between relationships.
Oh and by the way-SEX WITH A MAN WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS WITH A WOMEN!
So this coming from a girl who once was straight but found my bend…sometime we just need a gay girl to show us we were never straight to begin with. Ladies there hope, not all straight girls will break your heart, mines still here for the taking. XOXO
well grocery girl you are a minority to say the least… but its awesome that you are still on our team
WOW! I am reading all of this is wonder. I have lived a “straight life”, I have been married 12 years and have four beautiful children. I have only been with two men, since sex was always award for me. I recently became friends with a gay woman. Out of nowhere, I started to have feelings for her, strong major feelings. Feelings I had never felt before. I said all those things in the “rules” but I truly meant them. I always thought that connection, the chemistry, the feelings in your stomach were for the movies. With her, they were there they were real, and she said she felt the same way. We kissed A LOT, and I spent the night frequently, I even left my husband for the fifth time and kids, (we have had issues for years) but I didn’t tell her cause I didn’t want her to think it was for her, she just came at a time that was bad for us. But I did fall in love, I did want to be with her. I had fantasies, dreamed about her, felt her, and thought about her ALL the time. She always told me I shouldn’t feel that way for her because I was strait, and if I didn’t see what was wrong with that, she couldn’t help me. I don’t understand what went wrong, but her fears that I would crush her, she ended up turning on me. I was left, crushed, heartbroken, unable to function. she is still in my thoughts ALL the time, but she won’t talk to me, or respond to any communications. I have gone back home, and did tell my husband EVERYTHING. I initiated the first kiss, and I told him that, I made it possible to see her when i could and I told him that too, this was my doing, but she never stopped me either.I feel like I lost part of myself when she left, I struggle to breath, sleep, eat, and it’s been almost four months since I have heard or seen her. I feel like I am dying on the inside. Turns out, my husband and I make better friends than a couple and we have agreed that we will live in the same house as a family, for the kids, but we are free to do as we want. We have our own rooms, and the rule is nobody can be here until the kids go to sleep and have to leave before they get up. I don’t want anyone else though, I just want her. As I am struggling with, have I always been gay and not known it? it’s always been questioned by others, but I never had an opportunity to explore it.
I’ve never actively chased straight women, someohow I always ended up with one, and the ending is always the same they go back to men, or they break it off because of family or the crazy idea that you can’t have kids in a lesbian relationship. After my many heartbreaks I never get involved with straight chicks or even bi-sexual chicks.
I just broke up with my “straight date” and am miserable.
When I met her last year, I asked her out because my gaydar went off and I was instantly attracted to her. I hadn’t felt that type of attraction to anyone in years. She said she was straight from the get go and she knew I am a lesbian. We still went out for drinks and struck up a fast friendship, talking about all our life experiences. We began spending all our free time together—my friends kept telling me she, “is not straight—the way she acts, the way she watches you when you walk across the room, and why does she spend all her time with you? She isn’t dating anyone else she is dating YOU.”
Flirting continued—hanging out continued….things got deeper so when SHE hit on me very seriously one evening of course I took her up on it. Fast forward—we spent every night together for four months. Had incredible sex, fantastic cuddling—-everything couples do—took a weeks vacation together, stayed in bed most of it. Bought each other little gifts, hung our with each other’s families, grocery shopped together, took care of each other’s pets…sexted each other….had keys to each other’s homes…Then all of a sudden she started not staying over and not asking me over—-texts messages decreased, calls decreased from her and when we did get together she’d make comments about “wanting to date again and to have a life.”
I decided I would “show her” by going out with friends on Fridays again instead of asking to spend time with her. A few weeks of this and she tells me basically that we can still be friends and have sex but spending the night together felt too much like a real relationship and we “don’t need to do that anymore.” She also made a point to tell me not only was she not seeing anyone else, there was no one she was interested in. She said she is and always was straight and did not mean to lead me on in any way. She said all the pet names she had called me meant nothing and basically, neither did anything else we had been doing. So, my insulted, hurt, damaged self “broke up” with her. Why? She had confided to me about her other relationships (all short lived with men and women) that she always broke up with them. I wanted to take her control away…she has never been married and has never been in a long term relationship. Those two things should have tipped me off to her emotional capabilities. I don’t think it was the fear of a gay relationship, it was her fear of a relationship period….
What did I do wrong in all this? I should have never gone there when she steadily said she was straight because even if I don’t believe her, she believes it herself.
So….yep, I feel used and rejected. And DUMB for learning this lesson at 40. And I feel crappy for not wanting the relationship on her terms…I miss my friend.
*sigh will it ever end? STOP THE MADNESS LADIES!
Dear Bliss after straight- I can so relate to what you have written. I am straight and though never married have been in a series of horrible relationships with men. I had the amazing fortune of randomly meeting this incredible lady who was as she called herself a “butch lesbian”. In only talking to her for a total of
I will never have a chance to see her again 
However, I feel so very lucky to have met her if even for those few mins. 
Anyhow, if someone finds someone where there is that amazing connection and that grows into something beautiful over time then that is a real gift be it straight or gay. Best of luck to you. 
Jazmenha (Jazi)
20 minutes I knew she was an incredible person. Unfortunately we met like two ships in the night just talking for 20 mins at a resturant and then off into our own lives. I have thought about her everyday since. I am sure she didn’t think about me twice knowing I’m straight – my brother isn’t so we talked about that etc. But our conversation was very deep especially on what topics she opened up to me. Anyhow, I absolutely can not stop thinking about her. I felt a connection with her and for the first time ever was actually very attracted to another women. That meeting made me realize that love (of course this was not love – only met 20 mins hehehe) does not have boundaries be it gender etc. I told my best friend about it, but that’s it. Like I said unfort it was just a random meeting so ….that’s that
Martini-gurl That is absolutely horrible that she played with your heart like that. Shame on her! She gives straight girls a bad name. And ???? I don’t really see how she can say she is straight if she was in a relationship/sleeping with another girl???? That doesn’t seem “straight” to me. No matter straight, gay whatever people need to NOT mess around with other people’s minds and hearts! That is horrible! My brother is gay and I feel so incredibly blessed by this because it has opened my mind to the true meaning of love- there is no clear cut, cookie cutter model of what love looks like. However, if one finds themselves doing whatever with whoever they need to take personal responsibility and not hide behind labels (“straight” but yet sleeping with another woman?????) and not screw with other peoples lives. EVERYONE deserves respect! If I could even be blessed enough to see that amazing girl from the resturant again I would totally go for it- I would tell her how beautiful she is- and the last thing I would ever do is hurt her. Unfort I won’t ever see her again.
Anyhow people just need to be more respectful of eachother- I mean especially if they are in a relationship with someone. Take good care of yourself Martini-gurl Jazmenha (Jazi)
JAZI–
I lost my best friend and my lover–someone who made me feel comfortable all the time. Obviously, I did not mean that much to her and I guess that’s just life.
Thank you for the kind words. I’m not even angry with this woman for how she treated me–I’m sad that she wasn’t capable of seeing it as a viable relationship. I’m sad someone I enjoyed so much in every way is no longer a big part of my life. She obviously liked a lot of things about me to spend every free minute with me for months and I was just completely enamored of her. I miss her terribly and would really like to wake up with my mouth on her neck again.
Hope you have an opportunity so see the girl from the restaurant again. Or a girl as interesting to you. I honestly did NOT chase a straight girl—-SHE is the only one who thinks she is straight. Kind of like everyone looking at Kristen Stewart these days and saying, “That girl is NOT straight.”. Same deal with this one I loved—she can have the long hair, makeup, heels, dresses….but…there’s something there that just whispers or yells to everyone, “I am not a man f*ker”. But again, if Kristin THINKS she is straight—SHE IS.
Martini-gurl
Martini-gurl Thanks for the note. Good luck with everything. Having a brother who is gay I am so fortunate to therefore to see love in labels of gender. I am straight yes, but let me tell you if I had a chance to meet that butch from the resturant I again I wouldn’t definitely not be straight anymore
. HEHEHEHEHE (If I was lucky enough 4 her 2 be interested.) I met her a little over a month ago and I can’t stop thinking about her. That IS SO VERY stupid of me!!!!!!!! 
I just have to stop thinking about meeting her I mean it was what it was so whatever. 
LOL Anyhow, life is very precious and I hope everyone regardless of whatever their sexual preference treats others with respect. 
Everyone deserves respect. 
Take care. 
Jazi
OPPS MAJOR TYPO= I meant to say : Having a brother who is gay I am so fortunate to therefore to NOT see love in labels of gender.
TOO MANY ERRORS – I was rushing when typing LOL so I fixed it LOL I’m cutting myself off from writing anymore tonight. LOL
Martini-gurl Thanks for the note. Good luck with everything. Having a brother who is gay I am so fortunate to therefore not see love in labels of gender. I am straight yes, but let me tell you if I had a chance to meet that butch from the resturant I again I would definitely not be straight anymore . HEHEHEHEHE (If I was lucky enough 4 her 2 be interested.) I met her a little over a month ago and I can’t stop thinking about her. That IS SO VERY stupid of me!!!!!!!! I just have to stop thinking about meeting her I mean it was what it was so whatever. LOL Anyhow, life is very precious and I hope everyone regardless of whatever their sexual preference treats others with respect. Everyone deserves respect. Take care. Jazi
If I had only read this before on a bit earlier today I just told my next door neighbor who is a straight woman that I really liked her, she came back and rubbed it to my face that she likes men, however, does not want to lose my friendship or a great friend; which is cool, but she did special things that I misinterpreted I mean she cooked for me several times and said and did things that eventually lead on to me liking her…I just think this article is very helpful, unfortunately, read it after I told her I liked her, now she wants me to pretend or imagine that I never said it and act like normal with her as if it was so easy huh?
Zavjazz do feel bad- you were just being true to yourself and to your feelings and maybe she isn’t being true to herself or her feelings. Life is crazy hard without us giving ourselves crap for what we did or say or should have done or should have said. I totally understand that is easier to say then to apply. Be strong and in the end everything will work out the way it is meant to. I am a strange breed LOL I am straight with a gay brother and just stopped my (fist lol) month and half HUGE “crush” LOL on a beautiful butch lesbian (sigh) that I randomly met and totally connected with in conversation for only 20mins LOL. HEHEHE I know I am a big mess, but that is ok.
LOL LOL What I am trying to say is that we just live, things happen for a reason and somehow the world just keeps spinning. I am proud LOL to say I have now totally stopped thinking about this beautiful stranger who opened up in conversation on a MUCH deeper level about her personal stuff than any guy has in years. It was one of those “time stood still for both of us” moments and when she hugged me goodbye she was giggling like a little kid she was so happy. 
Anyhow, not telling you this for any other reason then you never know even though someone is straight- you never know they might not be sooooo straight 
hehe I mean I would have totally gone for her and taken it all very seriously etc. What I am trying to say is please don’t feel stupid for approaching your straight neighbor. You never would have known what would have happened if you hadn’t tried- if you hadn’t been honest with yourself. We can not control what others say or do so be please proud of yourself and the courage and strength that it took on your part to tell her that in the first place. Take good care of yourself! Jazi
ZAVJAZZ MAJOR TYPO
I MEANT TO SAY “Do NOT feel bad…” Ok that did it I am NOT allowed to write anymore on unless I proof read- this is getting ridiculous on my part all these typos. I AM SO SORRY!!!! I did not mean to type “do feel bad” – I totally mean to include “NOT”. sorry 
Zavjazz Thought of something else to write you after I wrote the post above. This time I will check for typos. lol Anyhow, I totally understand where you are coming from (believe it or not lol) because something somewhat the opposite happened to me. I was very good friends with this girl I thought was (as labels go- though I hate labels) a butch lesbian (I am using that respectfully even though I am “straight” lol whatever “straight” means in my life anymore lol). Anyhow, we hung out all the time (this was about 10 years ago). I ended up developing strong feelings for her and I told her. Well that was a MAJOR blow up in my face. She was not gay and it was just so awkward for me because we had been such great friends. I had never had feelings for any other friends (who are girls) before – it was all totally new to me and it was really “scary” for me to admit to her, but I thought she was coming from the same place so I decided to tell her. I got the wrong signs from her because she did and said so many things that seemed like she was interested towards me in that way also- even her initiating cuddling next to/with me at an outdoor concert (???). Anyhow, I only mention this because I was so embarassed and so uncomfortable that I had told her that I really liked her that as a result I totally ignored her and lost a good friend. Guess I should write an article “Guess what, “Straights” shouldn’t chase straights” LOL LOL.
Zavjazz be strong and courageous and never feel stupid for being true. Never feel stupid for saying what you feel. When you are comfortable with what happened then hold on to your friendship with her. Good friendships have endured the test of all sorts of circumstances. Good luck. 
Jazi (aka “Typo” lol)
Rexie,
I understand what u mean about quality realtionships but, those butches who go for staight women are only out for a bootycall…no strings attached. They know the outcome from the start, TRUST! However, on occassion, that butch can put it on that straight girl where the straight girl just can’t leave it alone. And, that depending on the butch and her character…this could potentially lead to a fulfilling, quality relationship. It’s been known to happen!
Where are all of these femmes that love butch women? Where are they? I go on these dating sites, I go out to lesbian functions and the femmes are hooking up with each other! I don’t understand the rules anymore. I am addicted to straight girls because they look awesome and everyone wants them. They will be attracted more to the masculine side of me than the feminine. They will have a basis for comparison after dating the straight men who take for granted how beneficial gentlemanly ways can be, and I will be appreciated. Yes they will leave for men but breaking up sucks either way so I can’t worry about that. If I could walk up to a femme and have her looking for someone like me I will literally marry her right then. If there are lesbian femmes who really love butch/stud women please point in that direction. Please.
Rocky lane Don’t loose hope there are many femmes who really appreciate and cherish a good hearted butch woman. It is just VERY difficult to meet anyone – gay,straight…The only people I meet (on the VERY,VERY rare occasion that I do since I work so much/take care of my parents etc) are butch (very attractive) women who hit on me even though they have girlfriends (happened 2 times in last month) – yeah, NO thanks. Like they say you only need to meet “one”. Just know what you are looking for, don’t settle, remain true to your heart and to hers (and find someone who will do the same) and in the end everything will work out. (I know SO much easier to say than do- as I type this I am thinking “hello self???- why don’t you listen to yourself/your own advice lo I guess some of us (me) are MUCH better at helping others than helping ourselves. lol) Anyhow, good luck to you. I hope you find your “diamond in the rough” (I know it’s “rough” out there but stay strong).
Jaz
Where i live there is only straight girls that want that experience but trust me if i could find femmes that wanted me to chase them I SO WOULD! So femmes hit me up cuz there is nothing for me here:)
Well i fell for a straight woman about five years…never again…i will love her til the day i die…. We are kinda friends now…and she now is a Christian…im a christian too but ive been struggling with liking women..men r attractive…. but i fantasize way more about women… Right now im with a man cuz its the right thing to do but thts not wht my heart wants… Nvr thought id b n this situation… He is a good man, i love him but im not n love with him..
I told my husband 1-2 years ago I’m bi-sexual as of lately I am attracted to women then men.
I’m a softstud who has a girlfriend and at my job sometimes straight girls flirt with me. I just laugh it off but don’t really take the advances seriously because i’m taken.If I was single maybe I would see where it could go, maybe.Confidence in yourself can attract many but finding that special girl whether gay or straight is priceless.The biggest lesbians was once straight at one point in time.So I say just follow your heart and stay true to yourself.The worst thing in life is to live a lie!
I am a straight girl, or have dated exclusively men. A few times in high school and college, I had messed around with girls while intoxicated. Years later, I had heard a lesbian friend of my roommate was more than interested in me. We tried to be friends for months, but eventually I jumped he bones… literally. My attraction to her was overwhelming. I couldn’t ignore it. We have been inseparable ever since. I feel for her more than I have for any man. My girlfriend landed her straight girl! And I’m NOT going anywhere. Ive never been happier!
@locagirl – FYI, some of those straight girls could in fact not be straight but femmes. Hey, we know cuties when we see them and we know we have to reach out and flirt. Good for you for not jumping on the opportunities while coupled up, but just had to say not every seemingly straight girl is really straight. We’re just drawn that way.
@beuflyy – LOVE IT!!