A few of you asked me to re-post this so here it is. This is the previously deleted post that I took down because a reader left a scathing comment. Usually I have pretty thick skin but I guess I didn’t yesterday. But thanks to some of your comments I feel a little better so I’ve re-posted in an attempt to stay true to what I like to do, which is be painfully honest about the highs and lows. This was a low. So be it. I’m not only NOT perfect, I’m pretty fucked up sometimes. I know this. Remi knows this. I’ve apologized to her for the evening and she forgave me, so that’s all that matters.
So tonight was the first night that Remi and I have been out since she got discharged from the Marine Corps. But before we get to WeHo let’s back up a bit.
Let me begin with the fact that it’s exactly 3:14 a.m. as I write this and Remi is laying in bed looking at me from across the room giving me a look that says, “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you really going to blog about tonight when I’m this pissed off at you?”
To which I looked back with a half apologetic look that said, “Ummmm yea.”
I also have to give the little disclaimer that I am three sheets to the wind as I write this, as in I am totally drunk ,….. still …. which could explain the evening that I’m about to tell you a little about.
(Sorry, ended up getting into a huge fight with Remi right after I wrote that first part. It’s now 3:00 p.m. the following day …. the story continues.)
I have to confess and say that it is a really bad idea to get in a fight with me earlier in the day and then take me out to a club and get me drunk. Why? Because I can be a grade “A” bitch when I’m pissed off and feel like I have something to prove, even if it’s all in my head. Which is usually is, but that doesn’t change anything at the time.
Remi and I had spent the better part of the day enjoying her day off: Movies, Starbucks, Shopping, etc. Everything was going great. We were at the mall, which is usually gag inducing to me, but this was one of those rare days that I actually feel like shopping so we were having fun buying much needed things such as a personalized flask, some high heeled black boots for later that evening and other equally life altering purchases. You get the picture. It was just a laid back day with my honey until we stopped by her hair salon to her her a hair cut.
I don’t know what it is about the chick that cuts her hair but she rubs me the WRONG way. And I mean I was instantly in a bad fucking mood the second we stepped foot into the salon. Maybe it was the hunger headache I felt coming on or maybe it’s just the bad vibe I get off that stylist. But whatever it was, it’s safe to assume I was not pleasant to be around.
So Remi left me at the food court with a vegie dog (that ended up being real meat!) and a very grumpy look on my face. So I sat there pouting with my fake vegie dog and my cell phone in hand.
What’s a disgruntled girlfriend to do when left all alone but text her ex? I tapped out a short text to Mr. that read, “Are you going to WeHo tonight? I am.”
I sat there looking at it for a few moments, my thumb hovering over the send button. Then in a flash of clarity or panic, I’m not sure which, I hit the delete button instead. Yes, Remi and I were fighting, sort of. But it wasn’t anything big and truth be told, I was being a brat. So I sat there and stared at my liar of a vegie dog.
By the time we were back home and getting ready to go out to WeHo and meet up with some friends, we had both calmed down and were excited about seeing everyone. Everything seemed to be fine.
As soon as we parked I put our new little flask to work and was drunk faster than a stripper can slide down a pole.
The night unfolded quickly from there:
We started off at the Abbey where, much to her horror, I molested Remi while we were in line for the bathroom. When I say molested, I mean it. She was not a happy camper. She’s used to being the aggressor and did not like the role reversal.
By the time we got into a stall, we both went in (yes, I know, we’re that couple now … eeew) and while she was peeing I stood at the door making loud sex noises with my hands gripping the top of the door, one foot peaking out from the bottom and the other one up on the wall, just to be sure I sold the performance for the bathroom attendant and the next girl in line. The blushing faces we saw when we came out told me I had done my job.
After that, I continued my aggressive behavior on the dance floor and the couch, probably embarrassing the crap out of Remi as her Marine friends stood there with shocked yet happy looks on their faces as they witnessed Remi’s gf get out of hand.
From there we moved to Here but one of our group was turned away at the door for not being able to hold his booze. Silly men.
After putting the drunk party pooper in his place by threatening him with bodily harm (both Remi and I took turns with that) Amazon threw him in a cab and we continued our night of drunken debauchery at Girl Bar.
This is where I really got myself in trouble. You see, there was this really good go-go dancer and yes, I couldn’t get my eyes off of her, but it was for professional reasons! I was studying some of her moves that I might want to incorporate into my next dance gig. But that defense didn’t exactly fly with Remi.
After digging in Remi’s pants for dollar bills to give her, I finally got a few bucks from our friend, Amazon. Apparently $2 goes a long way and I fully enjoyed my little dance and talk I got with Vanessa the hot go-go dancer.
When I made my way back to the table, Remi looked a little pissed.
Instead of making things better or even trying to, I drank her drink and then went on to say some very stupid things through out the night. Let’s run down a few, shall we?
While giving her a lap dance and licking her neck I whispered in her ear, “I’ll treat you like one of my paying clients.” ……. I was joking!
When caught drooling over the dancer I responded, “I’m just watching for professional reasons.” ….. that didn’t work either.
On the drive home when she was yelling at me about dancing recently and not telling her about it till tonight, when I was drunk, I defended myself by saying, “Well at least I feel appreciated when I dance for strangers.” …… that wasn’t so smart.
By the time we got home Remi was pretty freakin’ pissed off at me.
We spent the night re-hashing the evening and I tried not to fall asleep in the middle of the fight because I was drunk and the room was spinning. FYI, not a good time to have a rational conversation.
At one point I think we both just gave up for the night and ended up fucking in positions and ways we never had before till 6:00 in the morning.
Poor thing, Remi had to work this morning. Since she was running late I drove her to work. On the drive over everything seemed fine until right before I dropped her off she said, “Wait a second! I just remembered all the fucked up things you said to me last night! …. We are going to finish this discussion when I get home.”
Great.
Hey I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and this really didn’t sound that bad. I think everyone has nights like these and whoever write you a mean spirited comment should be more understanding.
I’m glad you had the balls to repost. Who cares what anyone else thinks? And you’re right, we don’t read this blog to see how much of an angel you are. We sorta wanna see how bad you can be sometimes. No offense to Remi. I know you’re with her now, but it’s nice to see you’re still a handful.
Sasha – thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. All I can say is I’m glad you decided to repost this.
This mirrors almost exactly what I did to my girlfriend not that long ago. Needless to say – I did penance and my lady forgave me.
It takes very special ladies to put up with the kind of crap we dump on them…I just hope my luck doesn’t run out!
Thanks again for re-posting. Makes me feel better that I’m not the only dumb (yet fantastic) one out there.
Huzzah for you, Sasha!
I wish i could see the comment that upset you. i cant imagine what it said. First if all, you didnt really DO anything. you got drunk and acted a fool, but who hasnt?! dont be too hard on yourself girl!!!!!
You didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah, you oogled a bit, and that’s not cool if you’re with someone, but there is far worse. I think the thing would be a bit deceptive is not telling Remi you were dancing again…but, to each their own.
In your last post, you said that you wonder how Remi puts up with you? Well, although I think you’d last about .4 seconds with me, there is someone for everyone….and having someone cool enough to understand your unique crap is all part of love.
Thanks for the repost, and the honesty…and sorry for the fake vegan dog.
LMAO!!! WHAT THE HELL that just sounds like fun all over it, except for the pissed off part, but other than that i would love to see you drunk off your ass making an ass out of your self
dont know how many times ive done it, lol man i hope you talked about it,.. and ps we cant help it but stare, THERE NAKED!! AND DANCEING!!! lol sucks to not be able to stare but its nice to come home to someone to…. =-)
Maybe you pick fights with her because they translate into hot sex?
And, I’m age-obsessed, it tends to be how I put everything in context–I’m curious: how old are you?
P.S. You should keep in mind that a lot of lesbians who read your blog are probably jealous of you and/or wish they could have you themselves and for some people that can manifest itself in snarky snotty comments. Or, maybe they’re just silently relieved to find out that someone with as much physical beauty going for them as you do doesn’t have a blissful romantic relationship 24/7. (Though I’m fairly certain you already know quite well, thank you, that this is a huge chunk of the appeal of your blog. Really, no one wants to hear someone’s life is perfect–it’s boring–unless they’ve got some other really fascinating aspect of their life to elucidate us on, and that is rare in a human being! Creative Writing 101, no?)
Sasha- I love your blog. Most of the time I really marvel at how different you are from me (I have kids-real kids), but tonight I am just thankful I am not the only one. Last St.Pat’s we went to Novak’s here in St.Louis and I apparently still had some residual shit going on from work and I can be a hell of a bitch when I am drunk and pissed. I never knew that about myself until then. Luckily, my partner is a forgiving sort of girl and I remind myself not to drink when I am super stressed. You’ll do fine, I like Remi. My partner was in the marines for eight years so I know how that can be too. Screw all the stupid people on the planet who don’t understand that real people occasionally have real arguments.
ok since this has been resolved I dont have much to comment but this… Sash… if you have been the bottom/femme/sub in the relationship in the past.. perhaps its time for the 2 of you to do some experimenting.. ok.. so I do have experience in this realm of BDSM.. when it comes to power play.. even in non bdsm relationships.. a time of change and growth is always good.. perhaps you should.. take her to a public one stall bathroom and make the first move.. let her assume control after that.. it lets you stretch your wings so to speak.. then .. it also makes her feel comfortable in her natural space.. also.. what top wouldnt love to come home to a candle lit dinner with their favorite femme wearing only a smile… or even better their hat and tie.. something fun like that.. I guess in short.. I know the situation has been resolved.. but I think it would be awesome for the two of you to do some role reversal.. even if it ends with her being the top again.. it may put some thrill between the sheets.