Remi and I have a new friend! She’s a girl I met at my gym. I had seen her in classes but never really talked to her. Then a couple weeks ago, our gym had a Fight Night at Sharkeez in Hermosa Beach. Having recently divorced myself from my last standing friendship from a debacle of a year (as far as friends and drama goes) I made myself go by myself, determined to “mingle” and start meeting new people.
I tend to be ridiculously punctual. When I say punctual, what I really mean is I’ll usually be there about 15 minutes early and then sit in my car staring at my watch until the exact moment approaches where I then time how long it will take me to walk from my car to the location so that I actually enter at EXACTLY the right time. I know there’s medication for people like me, but I don’t like drugs.
Back to my story. I was punctual as usual, and afraid I was going to be the first one there. But alas there were two other girls that were equally anal and already seated at one of our tables. I eventually worked up the courage to sit by them and surprise, surprise, these two very pretty girls were not your average LA hotties, complete with bad attitudes. Quite the opposite actually, they were both super sweet, engaging and very likable.
We quickly realized that we had a few things in common: For fun we all went to our gym, hung out with our dogs, read a lot and none of us were drinking. Could it be?? Could it actually be possible that I found two girls that were as nerdy and friendly as me? (Now before you jump down my throat, I love nerds, consider myself to be one and use that as a term of endearment.)
I saw one of them, Lana, again at the gym’s Halloween party and exchanged numbers so that we could hang out some time.
If you read my blog you know that I am notoriously hermitic only venturing out socially when manic or forced to by Remi. However, something about Lana had that feeling you only get once in a while with new friends, as if you’ve known each other forever. It might have something to do with the fact that she reminds me a lot of my ex-best friend. She doesn’t look like her at all, but they have the same mannerisms. Even Remi has pointed out the striking similarities to me after hanging out with her.
Whatever the reason, we ended up at her house a few nights ago with a couple of bottles of saki in hand. After texting her while shopping at Trader Joe’s it became apparent that we were all bored and had nothing better to do, so why not do it together. That is SOOOO not me! To just drop in on a friend and hang out!?? But it was me that night and it was great.
She has this super cute little house right on the cliffs, with a view from her porch of the ocean. She has a ginormous, yet super sweet dog that kept head butting Remi and a darling cat. But best of all, she and Remi actually get along!
I swore after all we went through this last year, that one of the prerequisites for being a friend of mine is that you HAVE to get along with my girlfriend! Suffice it to say that Lana passes that with flying colors.
So I’m proud to say that I have a new friend. Actually I should probably say that we have a new friend. Since it was made obvious last night when we took her to dinner and then out to the bookstore, that whenever we weren’t amazed at some of our OCD traits we share, she shares the other half of her interests with Remi.
I know I seem a little too happy about having a new friend, but it’s harder now days to make new friends. Especially since I’m not in school or in a work environment that lets me meet people everyday. So yea, it is sort of a big deal and I’m dorky enough to admit being stoked over having found a new buddy.
Oh and the best part about her??? She’s straight!
Which will be a blog all it’s own on the advantages of having a straight, female friend.
I’ve thought many a time it’s best to be friends with straight women. There is no envy that mucks things up, nor hidden agendas that create weirdness. You’re not at cross-purposes with a straight women like two single gay women are. I’ve several single lesbian friends, but compared to the number of lesbians I’ve met and made the decision *not* to befriend, they are the tiny tiny minority.
That being said, too bad your friend is straight…..she sounds lovely. (I’m a South Bay lesbian looking to meet other locals.) Maybe she has other lesbian friends besides you and Remi? If so, help a sista out!
I love new friends. I’m actually having trouble. While showering today (that’s where I get my best thinking done) I realized that I don’t have many anymore. I don’t have friends that weren’t my girlfriend’s friends before I met them. I don’t have a support group any longer. It was kind of depressing. I’ll have to force myself to mingle. It worked out well for you!
It is really hard to make new friends as adults. I work in pharmaceutical sales so I don’t really have any close colleagues. Now that we’re all out of college where we were sort of forced to bond with other people in the same place same age group. It’s not that easy anymore.
I’m so glad you found Lana. I really hope your new friendship blossoms.
Oh does she read your blog?
Ha! I bet Remi’s the one that’s really happy your new friend is straight. I know if you were my girl I wouldn’t let you hang out with anyone but super straight women and very gay boys. LOL
I think it’s really hard to be friends with straight girls. They get all weird about the lezz thing and always think I’m checking them out. But every once in a while theres a cool chick thats not like that. Sounds like your new friend is one of the good ones.
I guess this is sort of a weird topic for me because most of my friends by default are straight. On one hand, I chalk that up to living in a mostly rural midwestern area. On the other, though, my girlfriend and I neither one have any desire whatsoever to be part of the local “scene.”
I mean, if you girls living out on the coast or a major metropolitan area think your gay subcommunities are rife with cliquishness, drama, and gossip, well, imagine that same thing being coupled with the “regular” cliquishness, drama, and gossip of your standard backwoods small town.
That’s not to say that the only reason I have the hetero friends that I do is because I don’t have any other choice. I am extremely fortunate that I’ve met and retained friendships with the wonderful girls and guys that I have – nearly all of them were my friends before I came out, and absolutely none of them ditched me after I did.