Day two of our road trip found us in beautiful, yet desolate Oregon. OK, maybe it’s not exactly desolate but it’s not exactly a bustling metropolis either. I knew I was out of my element when I saw something strange up ahead in the mountains and I asked my GF, “Oh my god, what is that?!”
To which she replied, “Fog.”
I continued to show my lack of wilderness experience a few hours later when she told me to keep an eye out for deer. Almost immediately I spotted something moving in her headlights, so I shouted, “Oh I think I see one!”
To which she replied, “That’s a rock.”
See what happens when you take a girl from LA and plop her down in the country? Nothing good. Unless of course you enjoy watching her make a fool of herself.
We were lucky enough to stay with her sister who happens to be as awesome as my GF. Going back home with Remi really explained a lot. If you want to better understand your partner, go home with them and see where they come from, what their family’s like and all of a sudden a lot of things start to make sense.
For instance, I always thought my GF was kind of wild and crazy. But after meeting her sister I see that she’s the reserved one in the family.
It was raining cats and dogs the first night we got into Oregon. Despite the freezing cold temperature, the room we were staying in was a bit stuffy so we slept with the window open. … Ahhh the sounds of wilderness wafted in all night long …. at the first quack I sat straight up in bed and tried to wake Remi up, “What the hell was that?!”
But she was out cold and was absolutely no help at all in helping me identify the mystery noise that I was convinced was coming from inside our room! I heard it a few more times and I figured it was some sort of giant cricket that had climbed in through the window. So I covered my head with the blanket, since we all know that a blanket over the head is the ultimate protection against a.) monsters b.) murderers and c.) wild life that you’re sharing a room with.
I tried to get some sleep but was woken up hours later by the same quacking. Only this time it was much louder and more persistent. I sat up in bed trying to determine what and where it was coming from. My city-slicker ears that are more used to falling asleep to gun shots than the sound of rainfall determined that it was a duck.
A duck!? Oh crap! Now I was worried about the poor little duck that was outside in the freezing cold rain! But I calmed myself down by telling myself that it was an Oregon duck and it was probably used to the cold and that it probably had it’s winter feathers on, or whatever the fuck ducks in Oregon wear when it’s raining.
Early in the morning that damn duck woke me up again quacking away. I finally had enough and woke Remi up, “What the hell? Is that a a duck?’
To which she replied, “It’s a frog. Go back to bed.”
Sheesh! A frog!? How the hell am I supposed to know that? I swear it was quacking and it sounded like a freaking duck.
So my first night in Oregon with my GF, her cool-ass sister and a duck. Well in my head it was a duck. Since I never saw the frog, I am not convinced.
Oh and about our little “issue” over her ex-girlfriend’s feelings trumping mine? Still unresolved at this point. I had decided to swallow my pride and let it go … sort of. I really honestly felt it was more important that Remi have a good time before she left then it was that my feelings were validated. But you’ll see how well that worked out in the coming blogs ….
How’s that for a cliff hanger? Let’s just say, you’ll want to check back to read about how Oregon really feels about lesbians, getting kicked out of a jumpy thing in a club for being too gay, yelling at my GF in front of her entire family for dirty dancing and finally …. breaking up …. or did we?
“and finally …. breaking up …. or did we?”
What the crap?!?! I can’t handle the suspense!!
You are brutal woman. That’s evil to all you faithful readers to leave it like that…and yes I’m typing this ALL one handed still!!!!