Open Relationships @ Dinah Shore: Yay or Nay?

Posted on 06. Feb, 2010 by Sasha in Sasha's Adventures

The count down to Dinah Shore has officially began in our house. We even ran out to Targay and bought some free weights to buff up in time for all those crazy pool parties. For those of you living under a rock, Dinah Shore is the biggest lesbian, spring break, orgy in the world, and this will be my very first time in attendance.

While I always swore that when I finally did go to Dinah it would be first class all the way, I never planned on being in a serious relationship for my maiden voyage into the lesbian seas of Dinah Shore. But as fate would have it, I am. While we are staying at one of the host hotels, the Renaissance, for the four days of excess and indulgence, we are still in a committed relationship. Therein lies the rub: What’s the point in going to a lesbian spring break when I can’t indulge in a simple little fling here and there?

Remi and I have toyed with the idea of opening up our relationship a little bit for Dinah. I know, I know, I can hear the groans from here! Our closest friends have advised against this bone head move. But I can’t help myself, I want to have the “Dinah Shore experience” as cheesy as that sounds, I really think being able to make out with random, hot women in the elevator or pool is a key point in making that happen.

We keep going back and forth about this. One week, we’re feeling super lovey-dovey and the thought of even looking at another girl seems wrong. But then there are those days when we’re fighting or just not feeling overly romantic and the idea of a little healthy flirting doesn’t sound so evil. I hate to admit it, but sometimes, we feel more like best friends then lovers. It’s those times that I think our relationship could stand a little healthy jealousy to jump start the passion. When better then at a lesbian smorgasbord of such magnitude as Dinah Shore?

If we do this, there will be strict rules. Like no one comes back to the room. No actual sex. No one we know in our real lives. You know, stuff like that. But above all else, we’ve sworn not to be another Dinah Shore casualty. I am well aware of the countless relationships that have fallen by the wayside during this week of debauchery and I refuse to add my name to that list of heart broken women that were swayed away from their loves by the sirens of the White Party.

But here’s where you come in. Any and all advice, shared experiences or just all out ranting about opening one’s relationship for a limited time only, please don’t hold back. I want to hear from you!

Tags: dinah shore

15 Responses to “Open Relationships @ Dinah Shore: Yay or Nay?”

Joe

06. Feb, 2010

I think that’s a great idea Sasha. If your relationship can’t handle a few days of you being off the leash then it’s not as strong as you think it is. But if it’s real then you guys will be fine.

If she loves you, she won’t do anything that will really hurt you anyway.
Melanie

06. Feb, 2010

I think this is a very risky move. I wouldn’t do it if I were you. What if Remi meets someone that really interests her and then you get so jeleous you go out and do something against the rules and then Remi can’t forgive you? I say no, DON’T DO IT SASHA! pLEASE.
Eliza

06. Feb, 2010

I’ve been to Dinah Shore 3 times before and twice I was in a relationship and I cheated on my gf both times. Once she found out and forgave me at first but when we got back to our lives, the trust issues kept coming up and we eventually broke up. The second time, she caught me (a diff gf) and she left me right then and there and left me stranded out in Palm Springs. My new “fling” didn’t even give me a ride back to LA. I totally screwed myself!

The last time I went I was single and it was awesome.

So if you guys decide to open it up for the weekend, I think that’s smart. Because you can’t get in trouble then and you know you’re going to fuck up somehow. It’s inevitable.
Jul

06. Feb, 2010

I’m torn on this one. On one hand, I think it’s a terrible relational move. On the other hand, my voyeuristic tendencies would love to read about it.

So – selfishly, I vote yes…but if speaking as a friend? Not worth it….unless you are subconsciously looking for a way out of your relationship.
Rhonda

06. Feb, 2010

I vote: Yes!!!!

Please please!!!! I have missed all your crazy exploits from your single days! I’m happy your in a relationship and everything but come on Sasha, you’ve got to miss the good old days!
Alex

06. Feb, 2010

You already know my opinion on this. I think it’s a bad idea. But on the other hand, you’ve always looked at things very differently. If you’re feeling like you need that extra spice in your relationship then this might be a safe way to do it. As long as you guys stay together no matter what happens out there, I think you could work through anything. I know you guys have already worked through a lot. This should be a piece of cake.
Boi Toi

06. Feb, 2010

I’m so fucking happy you’re writing again!!!! I think you should go for it!

I’ll be staying at hotel zozo across the way. I hope we run into eachother at some point. That would be cool.
LB_Boi

06. Feb, 2010

As a regular Dinah attendee I have to say going with a gf isn’t nearly as fun as going single. If this is your FIRST time going you won’t truly get a feel for Dinah if you’re busy wondering why it’s taking your gf so long to get a drink or where she keeps disappearing to or vice versa. I’ve seen knock down fights amongst the SINGLE and committed women. It can get crazy. It truly is back to back days of drinking, dancing, sun, and scantily clad women. I’ve always had a bit more fun when I went with a group of single lesbians. I’ve gone twice with a gf and survived so it’s do-able.

I’m staying out of the desert this year because I think the entertainment is kinda lame compared to last year. I think they had a hard time finding anyone to follow Lady Gaga.

I highly recommend all the Clubskirts events — way more fun than Girlbar events. Hands down.
Enjoy!
Vickie

08. Feb, 2010

I think that exclusive, jealousy -based relationships really smack of maleness. There is no penis-threat to speak of – no reason to be intimidated. True, caring feminine love accommodates other loves and makes the love even stronger and blissful.
Holly

09. Feb, 2010

Here’s my thought on this: If you’re asking about this at all, it would seem as if you’re looking for permission to make this decision. If you thought this was really okay, wouldn’t you and your girlfriend just go ahead and do it without asking us? I know it’s partly because you want to blog about it, but honestly…you two are the ones in the end who has to live with the consequences of this decision, whatever that decision may be. So think about what you can/can’t live with, and discuss the same with your girlfriend. I’ll tell you one thing: I’ve personally done this – as have a few lesbian friends of mine – and we ALL ended up regretting it. Somewhere in there, someone always got hurt and believe me, it was soooo not worth it in the long run.

Plus, don’t you think it’s unfair to want the “safety” of a relationship while wanting to screw around at the same time? Want to have your cake and eat it, too? And purely my opinion, but those women who say “oh jealousy has no basis in relationships” are full of it. It’s not about jealousy, it’s about commitment and trust…but I think lesbians are as bad as any homo/hetero individuals who cheat and try to make it like it’s so very okay, it’s open-minded. I call b.s. when I see it, and I see it a LOT.

As another commentator noted here, perhaps you’re just looking for a way out of the relationship. In my case, I did it because in the end, I wasn’t as much into the woman I was in a relationship with as I’d thought (or wanted to be). It was an excuse to spice things up, to see if I’m missing something out there, but to get permission for it and make it “okay” when it wasn’t okay, not really. I also wanted the safety net of a relationship, while testing the waters. And what happens if you end up totally digging the girl you make out with? What if your girlfriend ends up digging the girl she makes out with? What happens when the other girl(s) won’t stop calling or won’t leave you alone, stalk you, fall in love…who knows?

It’s a big gamble. Proceed at your own risk.

But my vote is N.O. unless you want to be out of your current relationship by October (6-months post Dinah when the sh** will finally hit the fan and someone will walk.). Wish you the best, whatever you decide.
Melissa

09. Feb, 2010

I pretty much assume that deep down, you’ve already made up your mind to go for it. If you go at all, it doesn’t matter now that you and Remy decide to stay monogamous once you get there – the idea is already floating in your heads, and when those heads fill up with booze and potentially other party favors…well…
Deb

09. Feb, 2010

I totally second everything Holly said. Oh yeah.
LesbianWife

10. Feb, 2010

Personally I have no problems with the idea, and though we don’t have an open relationship, I can see why couples do (and certainly in this short term context).

My only “red flag” is that this post is all the reasons you want to do it. Does Remi?
Dee

12. Feb, 2010

I was in an open relationship for 4 years, and it did last forever (till-death-tear-us-apart forever, corny, but yeah). It didn’t go without some drama (you know, dyke dramas) but overall it was an agreement that worked for us. That was the first open relationship I had and the last one it seems. It takes a lot of trust between us. I think what worked for us was that we didn’t talk much about it. None of us probed about what we did or didn’t do. It didn’t matter because at the end of the day she and I knew that we’d come home to one another, and our love would still be as strong if not stronger.
Femme Inc.

02. Mar, 2010

I dont understand how you can be in a commited relationship…love someone as much as you love your gf yet for one weekend be willing to set it aside for a fling? Im not judging at all…Im intrigued by someone who can seperate the emotional from the physical and then walk back into the arms of your lover. I’m curious about your gf’s point of view on this issue is. If she ok with it? Hesitant? Doubting?
I get it that open relationships can and do work, when its put out there from the beginning. How can you have a monogamous relationship and then switch to an open one for a limited time only bc it suits the party? Maybe I’m naive in some respects, but I am curious about the dynamics and how ppl make it work.

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