Remi’s Birthday Surprises

This past Monday was Remi’s birthday. She is one of the hardest people to buy presents for because she never really wants anything. She’s happy to buy me whatever I want and honestly, it seems like she gets more pleasure from giving then receiving. While that makes for an awesome girlfriend, it also makes it very tricky to get her something she’ll actually like. So I try to be creative.

One of our favorite dorky activities to do together is car dance, a la “A Night at The Roxbury” style. I don’t know exactly how it got started, but whenever gay boy music comes on we both put on our most serious game faces, wait a beat and then in perfect unison without even glancing at one another, start head bobbing in the most serious, yet dorky way imaginable. Add some Vogue-ing and uber-cool moves I made up myself and you get the idea. This special dance is done  preferably at stop lights with the windows down. Then just as the light changes, we look over at the next car to see either amused or slightly confused expressions on the driver. Either way, it’s hilarious.

So the whole point of confessing this to you (Remi will kill me for telling you this) was to explain one of my presents to her for her B day. On several occasions, we felt the only thing really missing from our car dance was glow sticks. Imagine how much better our red light dances would be, if we simultaneously busted out with glow sticks!!! OMG!!

Yep, that’s right. I got Remi a box of 100 mini glow sticks so that we can fully entertain ourselves and possibly strangers in cars next to us, whenever we’re stuck in traffic.

The next practical gift I gave her was a dry erase board. Why? Because there have just been way too many times that we felt the need to communicate with strangers in the next car or on the sidewalk. Hundreds of times, we both expressed the same feeling that we needed a chalkboard or flash cards so that we could hold up friendly signs that read things like, “Lesbian? ….. Us too!” or “Nice car!” You get the idea. Hence the dry erase board that now lives under the passenger seat of the Mini for just such occasions. Along with the glow sticks of course.

Next, I got her a GPS because it took her a year of living with me to figure out more then one way to get home. I call her my little goldfish where directions are concerned. You know, how a goldfish memory resets every 60 seconds or something like that, so it’s a whole new world every time they swim around their bowl? Well Remi is very similar to that. In her defense she tells me, “At least my life is always new and exciting!”

I also got her a watch she’d been wanting and a copy of Stone Butch Blues. But that was pretty much it. Which at first I thought was more then enough. But then the night before her birthday her friends started asking her what I had planned for her? To which I saw her text back, “I don’t know yet! We’ll see ”

Oh no! That definitely looked like she was expecting more then I had waiting for her. So I told her, “Babe, you know I’m not planning on us going out of town. You told me you didn’t want to do anything like that, since you’re taking that big trip in July.”

Her face fell in disappointment and she replied, “I said that?”

“Yes!!!! You said that!” as my defense mechanism kicked in, not wanting to be the reason she was disappointed on her birthday.

So the next morning, I got up early and made last minute reservations for us in Idyllwild. It’s a tiny little mountain town about 130 miles south east of Los Angeles. Neither one of us had ever been so I thought it would be an adventure.

I booked a little cabin for us and we spent the next three days cuddled up by the fireplace, feeding the wildlife from our deck and walking around the cutest little log cabin town ever! It was exactly what she wanted and I’m happy to report that her birthday was a huge success!

On our deck, begging for food.

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