Sorry to leave you in suspense for so long, lol … but here’s the rest of the Abbey debacle.
Remi continued to ream me in front of her best friend, which was uncomfortable for both of us. I swear if Amazon’s head could have turned any further away from the table, the Exorcist would have been jealous. You know, when your friends are being jack asses and acting out in public in ways that they should only ever act behind closed doors, and the only way you can give them the illusion of privacy is to try not to look. Yea, it was that bad.
So instead of just telling her what happened, I said, “Nothing.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, I can clearly see a fingernail scratch on your face! WTF happened?!!!!” was of course, her response to my outright lie.
So this whole mature scene played out for a few more minutes of her yelling at me, demanding to know the whole story. While I felt more and more attacked and embarrassed so of course, I stuck with my story.
I swear, my tombstone will read: THAT’S MY STORY AND I’M STICKING TO IT.
My stubbornness in the face of being caught in so blatant a lie managed to piss my gf off to no end. We drove home in almost complete silence. The icy atmosphere only being broken up by her demanding to know what happened. But my migraine had kicked into full gear and there was no way in hell I was getting pulled into an all nighter. So I stood my ground.
It wasn’t until the next morning, about 5 minutes before she had to leave for work that I broke down and told her what happened.
But was she happy or satisfied? Yea right.
Now she just had even more to be aggravated with me over.
For one thing, I lied to her. For another, she was pissed I didn’t tell her when she would have had a chance to do something. Lastly, I lied to her. Did I say that already? Oh yea I did, but I thought it bared repeating since this was what had her stuck on repeat for the rest of the day.
I however didn’t see it as a “lie” per say, but more as a timing issue.
To me, a lie is when you have no intention of telling her the truth. But that’s not what happened. I had totally planned on telling her everything, I was just waiting for the right time. I think it was more like strategically timed truth telling. The “lie” she was so upset over was more like a diversion till the truth made an appearance.
Anyways, the long and the short of it was we fought all day long via text messages and then when she got home we had to go sit in the car and continue our argument because any yelling upsets my dogs too much.
We never really came to a conclusion. More of a standstill.
I think she deserved to be temporarily mislead for several reasons and she thinks I have a habit of “lying” to her when bad things happen and only telling her the whole story days later.
So we agreed to disagree and just move on. There comes a time when you just have to let things go and we’re actually getting pretty good at it.
In the long run I guess I’ll tell her if something like that happens again just to save myself the aggravation. But after reading some of the comments I doubt it will, since she’s not likely to let me out of her sight for a while now.
PS: LB PRIDE is coming up this weekend …. you all better be there!
It’s not lying, it’s persuasive communicating. I might have kept it to myself if I felt a bigger scene would of transpired out of telling my girlfriend whilst in the midst of it all. However, I never would have lied and said nothing happened, and/or kept it to myself until the next day. I would have found my girlfriend, said take me home, and after getting a safe distance from any further drama proceeded to tell her.
OK yes and for the record, since I left this part out: I did ask her to drop it for the time being and we could discuss it later. But she wouldn’t drop it so I just said, nothing happened because I refused to get into it in public. And a much bigger scene would have probably happened had I given in and told her then.
I stand by my behavior … as usual
There can be a wrong and right time to tell something esp to the GF or Wife. We all must decide when’s the best time to kick in the truth.
BTW, what an A-hole at that bar.
I know you were rattled by the events. I believe the best course of action would have been for you to go directly to management, have them call the cops and slap his rear in jail. He deserved that.
I am sorry you were assaulted.
Yes. Whether the assault was a big deal or not, I’m sorry that idiot caused all this shit for you. The whole situation sounds like something that needs to be worked out between you and Remi though. Lying is not the way to deal with it. But neither is overreacting and beating the shit out of the guy on the spot.
think you two need to learn to speak to each other a little better. no offense, but if my gf turned to me and yelled “what the f…. happened?” i would be inclined to tell her nothing until she stopped yelling and swearing at me. i don’t deal with the one i love talkong to me like crap, especially in public in front of friends. and i would have told her then and there, not told the truth later.
Sasha, wasn’t it easier to tell Remi from the very beginning that you were going to explain her everything in private when you got home? And just to tell that you wanted to go home asap.
She seems to be pissed off, because she wanted to protect you, but you didn’t let her.
I can see why you did what you did though. I’d do the same thing, but with different words