What do you do when an old lover, who has long since passed into the friends only line, shows up drunk at your doorstep after seeing her ex at Pride?
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am notoriously anti-social and will hardly ever answer my phone, let alone my front door. Especially if you swing by unannounced. That is a major no-go in my book.
But there are always a few friends that know, if they really really need me, I’ll push through my social phobias and at least, peak out through a crack in the door and yell, “What the hell are you doing here?!”
Well last night, Tony showed up in my driveway around midnight. Knowing better then to knock on my door and scare the hell out of my very sheltered corgi’s, she called me from her car. But like I said, I’m anti-social most of the time and didn’t answer. So she sent me a text. It read: I’m outside.
I ran to my bedroom window and confirmed that she was indeed, outside. Ugghhhh. I was not expecting company and was already snuggled up in my pajamas. And I hadn’t done laundry yet this week so I was down to my dorkiest pj’s I save for when I have absolutely NOTHING left in my drawers. I looked down at my granny nightgown I had on over these baby blue pj pants with puppy dogs all over them.
Ehhh. She wasn’t invited and beggars can’t be choosers. So I decided if she really wanted to see me, she could deal with my little house on the prairie meets sesame street ensemble. But not before I called her.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” I demanded. Not at all happy about being forced into social interaction.
“I saw Willa and I kissed her and I kissed some other girl but then her girlfriend tried to punch me.” Her speech was a bit slurred and I realized right away that not only had she had a drama filled Pride, she was also too drunk to have driven to my house. That only further pissed me off.
So I did the only thing I could do. I made her a cup of coffee and then shuffled out to the driveway to figure out what was going on.
I jumped into her car, demanded that she drink the coffee and tell me what had happened.
To make a long, convoluted story short, she saw Willa at Pride with a new butchie. From what I can gather, they kept running into each other throughout the day and eventually ended up at the same club later that night. At some point, Willa managed to ditch her date and lay one on Tony. Tony, being drunk and stupid kissed her back.
Luckily, alcohol hadn’t killed all her brain cells yet and she managed to get a grip and pull away.
But what’s a little dyke drama without reciprocal acts of fool hearty, jealousy inducing behavior. Still drunk, Tony finds the first willing femme, within eye shot of Willa and starts dancing with her. Dirty dancing led to kissing and kissing led to the ever-so-willing-femme’s girlfriend to storm across the club and yank Tony around and off of her girlfriend. I’m sure we can all see where this was headed.
Yep. *pow!*
Only Tony’s been taking krav maga for about ten years now and even as drunk as she was, she still managed to duck. Lucky for Tony, unlucky for the poor femme standing behind Tony. Who unfortunately caught her girlfriend’s anger full on, in the nose.
Straight out of a bad teen movie, the angry butch had accidentally hit her own girlfriend and now all of them were getting thrown out of the club.
Embarrassed by the scene, confused by the kiss with Willa and just all together fucked up that night, Tony somehow found herself at my place. Great.
Remi was due to be home any minute and here I had Tony lamenting on my shoulder about how hard it is to find a good femme now days, that loves butches as much as I do …. can anyone else see that this is not headed in a good direction?
To be continued …..
smh. you know this isnt going in the right direction. clearly she is drunk and at her wits end. you are the closest thing of comfort…run for the hills so remi doesn’t find out.
Ugh. Not Willa again…..being drunk isn’t even an excuse to kiss that blood sucking alien. I thought she was gone for good. I had fantasies that the last episode had her blown out into space with Tony’s super power gamma rays or something. But, alas, Tony is only human after all. And lonely. And needing feminine comfort. She has drunk so her judgment was impaired, that why she got in the car, and why she sought comfort from someone’s else girl. I am disappointed beyond belief. I understand that Pride is one of the best places to meet girls, but it’s like the Mardi Gras and Vegas. What happens there, stays there. Tony is looking for solid and stable, needs it so much that she is willing to give someone like Willa a second chance just in case she was wrong about her the first time. Tony….read my, uhm, fingers here….stay the fuck awaaaaaaay from Willa. Got that?
I’m a fucking moron and hopefully letting Sasha blog about this will help her forgive me for being such a dick head.
This was probably one if my lowest nights in recent memory.
Good. There’s hope for you, afterall, but maybe I should wait until the next episode in this little, ahem, adventure before I say that. I hope you carve into granite whatever lessons you learned. Put it on your doorstep so you have to look at it every morning when you leave the house and every night when you return. Please never drive drunk again.
Oh noooooo!!!!!! I see where this is going. I have been where Tony was. Drunk, heart broken and stooooopid. I hope this doesn’t ruin your friendship.
Being drunk is not an excuse for disrespecting your friend and her relationship, if that’s where this is going? I’m afraid it is.
Tony, man I was always in your side but pulling sum shady shit makes us all look bad .
Did this happen at Here? Because I think I saw the fight!!! My friends and I were like oh no here comes that sluts gf!!!! Then when she threw her punch we knew it was bad cuz the butchie gf was so drunk she was sloppy drunk!!!
If that was Tony, she’s hot!!! She ahould have used me to make Willa jealous. I’m single
I’ve been reading you Sasha for a long time but never commented. When I saw Tonys comment yesterday my heart sank a little but not just because she fell off the pedestal we all put her on but because you’re blogging about it and putting her shit on blast like that. Maybe you aren’t such a good friend to her after all?
Oh drunk rebound nights with ex’s. That’s not a good combo. Please don’t leave us hanging Sasha! WTF happened?
Don’t worry Tony I’m still your #1 fan.
well personally I think that should be a lesson to anyone who thinks about putting a person on a pedestal based on their behavior in one specific situation… the truth is that we are all capable of being a douchlord from time to time and Tony is no more perfect than any of the rest of us hardworking butchies… we all are weak at times… drunken stupidity is just a mask for our true motives…. that is why I never advocate drinking to excess…
Hey Blue, don’t be hard on Sasha. She’s not the one that did anything wrong and she doesn’t use my real name. She protects me whenever she can or at least she tried to protect me from Willa & then from myself.
I don’t mind her blogging about this. I was shit faced and a shit head. We’re still friends, she forgave me and I know if Sasha gets to write through stuff it helps her sort it out. You guys are like free therapy. You all helped me see Willa for what she was and thank you all for that.
Again, don’t be hard on Sasha. She is a great friend.
I’m new to your blog but this post and it’s comments were so juicy I quickly went back and read all of the Tony Willa episodes…. Omg! I’m not surprised that she did something it seems like Tony is addicted to drama. And when Willa was gone she had to get her fix somehow!
To Alice, no it didn’t happen at Here but close. Looks like I wasn’t the only idiot at Pride