Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

types of women that make good friends

Posted on 31. May, 2008 by Sasha.

When I’m speaking of women that make good friends, I’m talking about to other women.  I’ve touched on this topic before in my blog about lesbians making awesome friends. But a new friend of mine inspired me to add to the list.

Apparently, porn stars also make great friends. My friend Nica is in the adult industry. She writes, directs and stars in erotic films that cater to the female audience.

From the moment we met there was this amazing connection. I can only liken it to when you’re a little girl and you get a new best friend. You can talk all day and night about anything or nothing at all. You have instant trust in one another and it’s just plain old fun to hang out together. Well, it’s that fun with Nica … except instead of being two little girls in grade school, she’s a porn star and I’m a blogging lesbian. Can you see the potential trouble we could get into? Well we can and we look forward to every moment of it.

But I was thinking about how some people might judge her on what she does for a living and how inaccurate those presuppositions would be. Because the more I get to know her the more I see what an amazingly honest, up-front, genuine and kind person she is. I think that maybe, because of what she does for a living (which is fucking cool) she lives her private life in such a way that she’s almost above reproach. By that I mean, she’s not the type of woman to stab another woman in the back. If she’s your friend, than you’re pretty lucky.

Anyways, I could go on and on about how great I think she is, but then everyone at our gym will think I’m sleeping with her … already.

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To sleep or not to sleep with your best friend?

Posted on 10. Apr, 2008 by Sasha.

Admit it, you have one too. A close friend who you’ve known forever, you guys talk about everything, you go out and cruise for chicks together. You cry on her shoulder and she cries on yours and you totally want to know what it’s like to sleep with her. In spite of obvious sexual tension between the two of you for some reason, neither one of you has ever acted on it. Sure, there’s been some drunken make-out sessions and questionable fondling on the dance floor. But nothing either one of you couldn’t cover up with another shot of vodka followed by molesting the next three strangers that walk by just to make it look like you’re that drunk.

So what’s held you back from going all the way sober? From what I can tell, here are the major reasons:

1. Timing. You’re always single when she’s happily hooked up to the wrong girl. Leaving you to sit there and bite your tongue as you listen to how fabulous the new wench is. Then by the time your friend wises up and dumps the tramp, you’ve already met someone equally undeserving in the eyes of your bestie. But love and lust are blind and now she’s stuck listening to you go on and on about the newbie. For some reason, the universe conspires against you two would-be-fuck-buddies and you’re never single at the same time.
2. You don’t want to ruin the friendship. Now this is a legitimate concern. Many a lesbian friendships have gone the way of awkward silence after a drunken night of truth telling and sloppy seconds. So it’s understandable that you don’t want to risk losing a true blue bud over sex.
3. Then there’s the creep factor. You guys are so close, you’re like sisters. Eew! But no matter how close you feel, the fact remains, you are not related and no court in the world would blame you for sleeping with her. So the creep factor sits heavily on your conscience but you manage to push it to the part of your brain where things like algebra and calculus go to die.
4. You’re scared. You’ve seen the girls she’s been with, you’ve heard the tales of her sexual conquests and maybe you’re not so sure how you’d measure up. Nothing could be more mortifying than having your best friend think you’re a bad lay. Not only does that not bode well for the two of you, it also has the potential of getting around to your other friends. Ouch! The possibility of losing your friend and your rep all in one fell swoop? Not such an appetizing idea after all.

But let’s say you’re a rock star in bed and you know it. By some miracle you’re both single at the same time and you’re over the pseudo-incestuous angst you were once hung up on. So now what? Do you throw caution to the wind and make a move? But wait! There’s one more problem!

What if all this sexual tension you’ve been feeling over the years is all in your head? What if you’re the only one who wonders what it would be like to take your friendship to another level? What if you’re slightly psycho and you just never realized it before?!

Does any of this sound even slightly familiar? Well welcome to my world. So I settle back into our comfortable roles of sexually frustrated friends with a healthy dose of denial thrown in for good measure. Does she like me or is it in my head? Honestly, I’m sure she likes me. But for all the same reasons, I’m sure she’ll never act on it either. Ensuring another ten years of friendship unmarred by sex, no matter how good we both know it would be.

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