Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Open Relationships @ Dinah Shore: Yay or Nay?

Posted on 06. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

The count down to Dinah Shore has officially began in our house. We even ran out to Targay and bought some free weights to buff up in time for all those crazy pool parties. For those of you living under a rock, Dinah Shore is the biggest lesbian, spring break, orgy in the world, and this will be my very first time in attendance.

While I always swore that when I finally did go to Dinah it would be first class all the way, I never planned on being in a serious relationship for my maiden voyage into the lesbian seas of Dinah Shore. But as fate would have it, I am. While we are staying at one of the host hotels, the Renaissance, for the four days of excess and indulgence, we are still in a committed relationship. Therein lies the rub: What’s the point in going to a lesbian spring break when I can’t indulge in a simple little fling here and there?

Remi and I have toyed with the idea of opening up our relationship a little bit for Dinah. I know, I know, I can hear the groans from here! Our closest friends have advised against this bone head move. But I can’t help myself, I want to have the “Dinah Shore experience” as cheesy as that sounds, I really think being able to make out with random, hot women in the elevator or pool is a key point in making that happen.

We keep going back and forth about this. One week, we’re feeling super lovey-dovey and the thought of even looking at another girl seems wrong. But then there are those days when we’re fighting or just not feeling overly romantic and the idea of a little healthy flirting doesn’t sound so evil. I hate to admit it, but sometimes, we feel more like best friends then lovers. It’s those times that I think our relationship could stand a little healthy jealousy to jump start the passion. When better then at a lesbian smorgasbord of such magnitude as Dinah Shore?

If we do this, there will be strict rules. Like no one comes back to the room. No actual sex. No one we know in our real lives. You know, stuff like that. But above all else, we’ve sworn not to be another Dinah Shore casualty. I am well aware of the countless relationships that have fallen by the wayside during this week of debauchery and I refuse to add my name to that list of heart broken women that were swayed away from their loves by the sirens of the White Party.

But here’s where you come in.  Any and all advice, shared experiences or just all out ranting about opening one’s relationship for a limited time only, please don’t hold back. I want to hear from you!

Continue Reading

A Comma As A Sign of Life

Posted on 05. Feb, 2010 by Sasha.

Dear Cram,

In response to your comment, “You could just type one lil itty bitty comma to signal your aliveness.” I apologize for the lack of recent commas. I am indeed, still alive.

But where oh where have I been? Drowning in the mire of my own thoughts yet somehow, completely dry of any and all things to blog about.

After a nasty little bout of pancreatitis or something posing as a very good impostor I had about a day or two of health and what some may call happiness. But alas, I was struck down by the swine flu! Hahaha … no, seriously. While I did not call CDC, I did check my death defying symptoms against a checklist I found online and was promptly self-diagnosed as having the dreaded H1N1.

Of course I immediately sent a text to my best friend, Lana to tell her the news. But instead of being surprised she informed me that was probably what she had the week before! Umm, thanks for inviting me over all last week! LOL … but what good are friends if you can’t share a little pandemic? In all honesty I think I got it from my father. But don’t tell Lana, I’d rather try to milk a little guilt out of the girl, since she’s the proud new owner of an absolutely gorgeous Porsche and I’m trying to talk her into letting me borrow it for Dinah Shore.

Dinah Shore?! Can anyone say crash diet? I have 54 days exactly to be bikini ready. Let the count down begin.

Continue Reading

My girlfriend’s going to Dinah without me!!!!!

Posted on 02. Apr, 2009 by Sasha.

As you read this, my girlfriend is speeding down the highway with her cute ass little butch friend riding shot-gun, on their way to Dinah Shore …. WITHOUT ME!!!

WTF???

I know huh?

OK, well before you jump to any conclusions this is ALL my fault, as usual. But sticking to my modus operandi I’m not letting that little factoid stand in my way of being butt-hurt and pouting all day long.

A little back story is in order here:

A few months ago I was all hyped up about Dinah. The GF not so much.

Then of course, something in the air switched our positions for no good reason and the closer the date got, the more she wanted to go and the less I wanted to go.

My reasons for not wanting to go are stupid and are as follows: I think Dinah Shore is a great place to get drunk, stupid, kiss a stranger and ruin your relationship. I don’t have anything to wear. I’m trying not to drink and that would be nearly impossible for me if I go. And last but not least …… oh wait, that’s all I’ve got. Baaaaaaahumbug.

Could I be any more of a party pooper? Don’t answer that.

Anyways, I end up trying to be a “good girlfriend” and encourage Remi to go down with some friends. Who I know are all happily coupled off. But I also thought the chances of her actually going were pretty slim. If she was going she said she’d go Friday and if I changed my mind I could go too.

This morning we sleep in because it’s our weekend and after making her coffee (like I do every single morning) I come back in the room and she announces, “So Sunny and I are going down to Dinah Shore. Today.”

Ummmmm …… ok.

“What time?” I ask. Trying desperately to act like I’m OK with this since I should be.

“In like an hour.” Was her response.

An hour!?

No invite to join them. No, “Hey baby ummmm …. let me break this to you gently and then invite you along to make you feel better.”

Nope. None of that.

Just a screeching halt to our morning that was supposed to be spent in bed making up for the last few weeks of not being that close.

I sat there with my coffee, trying not to cry or scream at her since I had absolutely no right to do either.

I told her to go with friends. I told her to have fun without me.

So what is my problem?! And no, it’s not PMS. I wish it were because then I’d have an excuse for my bratty behavior.

I proceed to be short and curt with my answers and then lock her out of the bedroom when she went to take a shower. Stooping as low as sliding her phone to her through the kitty door (yes we have a kitty door on the bedroom door, long story).

As you all already know, Remi has the patience of a saint. Although she did yell at me and I did deserve it. But before she left she spent the last 45 minutes in bed with me making me feel better

So I sent her off to Dinah Shore with a smile. We might go down tomorrow. But probably not. But knowing that it’s an option makes me feel better.

So that’s my story. My girlfriend is on her way to the biggest lesbian spring break ever … without me. Oh yea, Sunny, her friend and partner in crime for the day is also in a relationship. Which I could look at as a good thing or a bad thing. It’s sort of like a boys night out … not too sure how I feel about that.

Continue Reading

Lesbians and Fight Gyms

Posted on 03. Oct, 2008 by Sasha.

Okee dokee … as we all know I’m a dyke and I do dykey things. I like guns, I like cars, I like to wear OD green too much and I have several pairs of “official lesbian shorts” aka plaid and or cargo shorts that are too long for a straight girl to ever be caught dead in. But perhaps the dykiest thing I do on a regular basis is go to a fight gym where I train in mixed martial arts.

I would think that if there was going to be a gym full of lesbians, it would be at a fight gym. But no. From what I can tell there’s only two and half of us. Myself, another girl who’s actually so good she’s gone pro now and a third girl that I’m pretty damn sure is family but I haven’t been able to get it out of her yet.

But everything about her sets off my gaydar from her board shorts to her multiple tattoos to the way she talks. But if she’s not ready to come out of the supply closet who am I to push?

Oh wait, there’s one more. My friend Nica who’s bi. But she’s not even totally on our team! We have to share her with the boys. Ugh.

Back to my original question. Is it just me or shouldn’t there be more lesbians at my gym? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about all the pretty straight girls running around all hot and sweaty. But it would just be nice to see our superior athletic ability at all things manly better showcased.

I say that if there’s any sport that lesbians would dominate, it would be MMA. Forget golf, my friends. That’s so ‘07 and Dinah Shore only happens once a year. But kicking ass never goes out of style.

Continue Reading

80’s Prom Night, Could We Get Any Gayer?

Posted on 03. Apr, 2008 by Sasha.

My amazingly cool group of friends are having a party this weekend. They’re calling it, “We’re too broke to make it to Dinah so we’re having an 80’s themed party!” OK. OK …. Maybe it’s not the catchiest name but you gotta admit, it gets the point across. My friends are nothing if not blunt.

Sounds good right? I mean, I can throw together some leg warmers and neon colored t-shirt/dress with a bad belt and capri leggings. My costume, unfortunately is not the problem. The issue is that like most lesbians, all my friends have conveniently coupled up with their perfect little girlfriends. Alas, I am the last single girl in the bunch. This however doesn’t usually bother me. My friends are great, not too mushy and when we’re at a club they get to make bets on how fast I can get the digits of the dime piece sitting by herself. I’m the proud owner of the biggest balls in the group.

But a house party full of couples and the only possible single person in sight is a straight guy smoking on the patio? Um, yea … I’ll pass.

Continue Reading