Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

The Purgatory of Lesbian Text Dating

Posted on 26. May, 2008 by Sasha.

Desire is something that should be almost irresistible. When you meet someone that you just have to have, you just have to touch, to kiss, to be with … it should be almost painful to abstain from any of those things.

But what about when you meet someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel comfortable and makes you sort of want to make out with them? I mean it seems like the next logical step. For all intents and purposes you should be all over each other. But for some unknown reason, you’re not. She’s in her seat and you’re in yours. Neither one of you groping the other or trying some acrobatic sex moves while driving around town. Nope. You’re just driving.

But what the hell went wrong? On the phone it’s all hot and heavy and don’t even get me started on the X rated text messages. If your real dates were as hot as your text dating, you’d be fucking each others brains out by now. But for some reason when you’re face to face, all that fire just sort of fizzles to an awkward friendship that you both hoped would be more.

But now you’re a little more than friends, but not quite dating either. You’re in this no-man’s land, the purgatory of sexual tension where dates go to die. You’re both looking for a way out but there doesn’t seem to be any. Heaven would be that all of a sudden you look at each other and want to rip each other’s clothes off … and then actually follow through on it. Hell is where you say you’re just going to be friends and then never really speak again. But instead you’re stuck in purgatory where you can’t kiss each other, but feel guilty if you kiss someone else. Ughhh!!!!!

This doesn’t really have a moral lesson attached. It’s just a rant on a not-so-hypothetical, theoretical situation…. how’s that for a non-committal confession? Hahaha … well, you should know me by now. Any thoughts? Not that I’m going to actually take any sound advice because that would be too easy.

But I do have a question: Is there a window of time where if you pass it, you automatically slip into platonic-ville? Or is the window for nookie never really closed?

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To sleep or not to sleep with your best friend?

Posted on 10. Apr, 2008 by Sasha.

Admit it, you have one too. A close friend who you’ve known forever, you guys talk about everything, you go out and cruise for chicks together. You cry on her shoulder and she cries on yours and you totally want to know what it’s like to sleep with her. In spite of obvious sexual tension between the two of you for some reason, neither one of you has ever acted on it. Sure, there’s been some drunken make-out sessions and questionable fondling on the dance floor. But nothing either one of you couldn’t cover up with another shot of vodka followed by molesting the next three strangers that walk by just to make it look like you’re that drunk.

So what’s held you back from going all the way sober? From what I can tell, here are the major reasons:

1. Timing. You’re always single when she’s happily hooked up to the wrong girl. Leaving you to sit there and bite your tongue as you listen to how fabulous the new wench is. Then by the time your friend wises up and dumps the tramp, you’ve already met someone equally undeserving in the eyes of your bestie. But love and lust are blind and now she’s stuck listening to you go on and on about the newbie. For some reason, the universe conspires against you two would-be-fuck-buddies and you’re never single at the same time.
2. You don’t want to ruin the friendship. Now this is a legitimate concern. Many a lesbian friendships have gone the way of awkward silence after a drunken night of truth telling and sloppy seconds. So it’s understandable that you don’t want to risk losing a true blue bud over sex.
3. Then there’s the creep factor. You guys are so close, you’re like sisters. Eew! But no matter how close you feel, the fact remains, you are not related and no court in the world would blame you for sleeping with her. So the creep factor sits heavily on your conscience but you manage to push it to the part of your brain where things like algebra and calculus go to die.
4. You’re scared. You’ve seen the girls she’s been with, you’ve heard the tales of her sexual conquests and maybe you’re not so sure how you’d measure up. Nothing could be more mortifying than having your best friend think you’re a bad lay. Not only does that not bode well for the two of you, it also has the potential of getting around to your other friends. Ouch! The possibility of losing your friend and your rep all in one fell swoop? Not such an appetizing idea after all.

But let’s say you’re a rock star in bed and you know it. By some miracle you’re both single at the same time and you’re over the pseudo-incestuous angst you were once hung up on. So now what? Do you throw caution to the wind and make a move? But wait! There’s one more problem!

What if all this sexual tension you’ve been feeling over the years is all in your head? What if you’re the only one who wonders what it would be like to take your friendship to another level? What if you’re slightly psycho and you just never realized it before?!

Does any of this sound even slightly familiar? Well welcome to my world. So I settle back into our comfortable roles of sexually frustrated friends with a healthy dose of denial thrown in for good measure. Does she like me or is it in my head? Honestly, I’m sure she likes me. But for all the same reasons, I’m sure she’ll never act on it either. Ensuring another ten years of friendship unmarred by sex, no matter how good we both know it would be.

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