Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Is it just me or is everyone gay?

Posted on 30. May, 2008 by Sasha.

I used to lament about the lack of lesbians, or more accurately, my lack of gaydar which made it seem as if there were only six lesbians in the South Bay and I already knew them. But lately everywhere I go I’m noticing more and more gay girls.

It could be that it’s so trendy to be bi or gay, that a lot more women are just embracing the freedom to flirt with one another. Not to say that most of them would ever follow through but a little harmless flirting with a MILF at the gym never hurt anyone’s ego.

But I recently found myself at the Sheriff’s department (no fault of my own, I was simply defending myself) and before I left a lovely lady Sheriff slipped me her card with her cell phone, home phone and email on the back. Ummmmm ….. I may be wrong but she was setting off my gaydar so loudly I thought I’d go deaf!

Then earlier today I was in 7-11 and my favorite dykey clerk gave me a free lottery ticket and winked at me!!! WTF??? Seriously. Maybe it’s the heat, it brings all the lesbians out from under wherever we’ve been hiding, to show off our plaid cargo shorts and wife beaters.

It occurs to me as I’m writing this that maybe it’s not that everyone’s gay all of a sudden. But maybe I’m finally putting off the come-hither-I’m a lesbian-vibe … God I hope so.
Either way it seems that this summer is off to a fabulous start!

Pssst … I see gay girls.

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Straight Girls “Going Gay” … Bleh.

Posted on 23. May, 2008 by Sasha.

Earlier today I was shopping at Targay when my friend Amber sent me a text that read: I have something for you to blog about! When she’s right she’s right … and this is the topic that was on her mind.

We all know one, or ten … a straight chick that loudly proclaims she’ll just “go gay” when she’s finally tired of being treated like crap by men. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like an insult to me. Why on earth would I want every other man’s sloppy seconds or a woman that thinks I’m her last resort?

Granted, there are lots of women that started off dating men thanks to social norms and just the plain old coming out process. But when an obvious, died in the wool straight girl claims she’ll turn into a lesbian as a last resort is really just saying one of several things:

1. “I’m such a huge whore, I’m bound to run out of men soon. So when that day comes I guess I’ll have to move on to women.”

2. “Someday I’m going to grow a backbone and not want to be treated like a second class citizen but not today.”

3. “I’m never really going to go gay, but if you get me drunk enough I’ll probably sleep with you.”

I’m in agreement with Amber that it’s just plain silly for straight chicks to threaten to go gay. Who are they trying to scare? Their boyfriends? Who after hearing that empty promise are already lost in a daydream that involves two women and their sorry asses.

Or are they trying to scare us? “If some man doesn’t hurry up and marry me, I’ll be your problem soon!” Boo on that. The men can keep them.

Or are they giving themselves a gut check? Maybe saying it out loud lets them pretend that they’re dipping their toes in the lesbian wading pool, without any real consequences either way. Their straight girl version of playing chicken with a lesbian.

Well, either way I have this to say to any heterosexual woman who uses the possibility of “going gay” as nothing more than a lack luster attempt at shock value: Quit it. It’s old and played out, just like you. I don’t want your skanky ass that’s slept with more men than you can count. I don’t want to be your experiment, the spice in your dull marriage or your first girl-on-girl experience. Let the men deal with you because I’ve got plenty of dyke drama on my own without having to worry about angry boyfriends. So good luck to you and your pseudo-sexual confusion.

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