Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Lana a.k.a Lesbian Bait

Posted on 02. Mar, 2010 by Sasha.

The other night we went out to Girl Bar, with Lana in tow. I had assured Lana several times, that she would not be mauled, attacked or hit on. I mean after all, it’s a lesbian bar and while it is a bar, we are still women. Which in my experience has meant that in general, women are usually pretty shy and don’t hit on each other without some serious body language giving the green light. And not even then most of the time!

All too often lesbian clubs remind me of those horrible 6th grade dances when all the boys would stand on one side of the gym and all the girls would line up on the opposite wall, waiting, hoping and wishing that that cute little boy that was 6 inches shorter then them would have the nerve to come over and ask them to dance.

So after multiple assurances on my part, that Lana would not be molested on her first night at a dyke bar, the ladies of West Hollywood quickly took up the challenge to make a liar out of me.

We hadn’t been there ten minutes before a girl walks up to our group, circles around, gives Lana an up and down appraisal, literally shakes her head yes, as if to say, “Yep, that’ll do!” and walked over to our group of five. I mean really, how often does a woman have the guts to approach an entire group of females just to get at one in the center?

She leaned in and yelled over the blaring music, “My friend is having a party right down the street and told me to come and find some hot women to bring over.”

We smiled, said thank you and maybe. Laughing hysterically that Lana had just been cruised mere moments after sitting down.

This type of thing happened through out the night. It was actually pretty funny watching the women circle around Lana like sharks circle fresh chum.

But nothing would make my night like what ended up happening out on the dance floor. Apparently, Lana is irresistible to older, shorter lesbians. Well, one in particular. Before we knew it, she was being man-handled by a very pushy woman.

Seeing my friend in distress I did what any good friend does, I threw my girlfriend in between them, confident that the interloper would take a hint. [...]

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On the Itinerary: Party our asses off

Posted on 14. May, 2009 by Sasha.

So just in case you missed it, I’m going to reiterate on this blog and provide links to all the fun places we’re going this weekend. Why? Because the more the merrier and it’s good to support GLBT events.

I’m also posting any links to other Pride events just to keep you in the know:

This Friday, May 15: I will be at OC Pride which is being held at Knott’s Berry Farm. They’ve bought out the entire park just for us homos so we can relax, be ourselves and not worry that we’re traumatizing some little kid from Arkansas.

Also Friday, May 15: For those who don’t want to part with the $42 admission price to get into Knott’s there is going to be a Pink Party in Downtown Long Beach from 7 – 11 p.m. and I believe that’s free. Free is always good.

Saturday and Sunday May 16 – 17: Is Long Beach Pride. It’s held at Shoreline Village and seems to be more of the lesbian scene than Hollywood Pride which is geared more towards the boys.

Hamburger Mary’s is having a parking lot party for Pride with cheap food and beer and it’s walking distance from the festival.

Ripples is having a bunch of Pride events happening and I heard they’re providing a shuttle to and from the festival, for free during Pride! So check that out.

What about the after parties? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

The ladies of Girl Bar are putting on an after party Sunday night at V20 in the Bambou Lounge in Long Beach. Cover will be $15 or $10 VIP.

There will also be an after parties at Executive Suite and Ripples. But it’s going to be a mixed crowd at both places, so if you’re looking for a strictly estrogen filled evening, V20 might be a safer bet.

If I’ve missed any place, and I’m sure I have, please feel free to leave a link in the comments. I just want everyone to have a very Happy Pride!!!! Whoooohoooooo!!!!!!

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The List

Posted on 25. Feb, 2009 by Sasha.

Drum roll please ……

OK so in racking my brain to remember every place in Los Angeles that I’ve been able to pick up women, get picked up on or just spied some juicy possibilities I have come up with the following list.

(Sorry to my readers who are not local, but maybe your home town version of the same places might hold the same lesbian magic that these places seem to.)

First let’s begin with the obvious, obvious because they are deemed to be “gay” stomping grounds anyways, but still some are better then others.

1. Topping my list is Girl Bar in West Hollywood. It was the very first lesbian club I ever went to and I went alone. You can imagine how scared to death I was. But I ended up fooling around with one of the go-go dancers in the bathroom and then getting yelled at by her girlfriend in the parking lot. It was a good introduction to the lesbian club scene.

But honestly, Girl Bar is always a good time and I’ve never been there without getting at least one or two numbers stuffed in my pocket, even behind my girlfriend’s back. I only say that to stress the fact, that when women are at Girl Bar, they’re there for a reason; to have a good time. [...]

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Pre-Birthday Mind Games

Posted on 17. Oct, 2008 by Sasha.

So as you know it was my birthday last Friday. Sorry that it took me so long to document the weekend for your reading pleasure but let’s just say that it was so damn good, it’s taken me this long to recover.

Alright then … let’s get down to the business of catching you up. This is going to take a few minutes.

First of all I need to backtrack to a few nights before my birthday. Remi and I were hanging at the Dolphin discussing who was going to be coming out with us to Girl Bar when she casually mentioned, “Oh yea, I invited Chatsworth too.”

Wait. What did she just say? My ears must be bleeding because I know I did not just hear my gf say that she invited the very last girl she banged prior to me, to my effin’ birthday!!!

I took a another drink of my Jager, swallowed hard, glared at her and said, “Excuse me?”

Remi must have seen the steam rising out of me, or maybe the fire from my eyes burned her a little because she instantly tried to make it better. However, witness the break neck speed at which she makes things a thousand times worse …. she follows up by saying, “No no no, it’s not like that. You see it’s her birthday on the 12th so I thought …”

I had to break in at this point and for some reason my voice was surprisingly calmer than it sounded in my head but I interrupted her to verbally explicate the situation as I saw it, “Let me get this straight. Not only did you just tell me that you invited the most recent girl that you used to fuck before me, to MY birthday. But you did it because it’s also HER birthday a few days later? So I’m supposed to share MY birthday with HER? So you can kill two birds with one stone? …. That’s nice of you. Thank you. Then I should have invited Mr. like I wanted to.”

Yep, you read that right. I threw Mr. in her face. To which she jumped on that, “Oh yea, please do. I would love to see her. I have a few things to say to her.”

I just sat there a few moments. Absolutely livid. I really didn’t know what to say. So Remi kept trying to back peddle, “Look, I knew she couldn’t come anyway, that’s why I invited her. She’s not even coming!”

Uh …

Let’s put this all in order:

• She invited an ex-lover of hers to my birthday.
• Knowing that she couldn’t make it.
• But why?
• To make that girl feel like she still meant something to her?
• But if she knew she couldn’t make it and wouldn’t be there, then why, OH WHY tell me about it???!!!
• To piss me off?
• To make me jealous?
• To throw her in my face?
• But again I ask why?

I have no idea. But it pissed me off to no end. Lucky for her I was too tired and drunk that night to really make a big deal out of it and I’m one that likes to stew about things a little. Which I did and which I chewed her out about the next night to my satisfaction.

But have no fear, a few nights later Remi would totally and completely redeem herself by giving me the best birthday I have ever had!!!

Check back to tomorrow to see if I kept my promise about getting lucky at Girl Bar.

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“Wow Sasha, from your blog I thought you’d be so much hotter.”

Posted on 10. Oct, 2008 by Sasha.

The other night I was hanging with my gf after a particular painful night at the gym. I was pretty beat, sore and hungry. After a few hours of hanging out, I failed to jump her bones at the appropriate moment. Partly because she had said something extremely stupid a few hours earlier (which I will dedicate an entire blog to soon) and also because I had gotten hit in the ribs earlier in class and couldn’t fully inhale without coughing.

As soon as I pulled away from her, she hit me upside the head with this remark, “Considering all the stories I’ve heard about you, from before I got with you, you’re surprisingly not what I expected.”

The next sound I heard was my relationship coming to screeching halt…. Wait. What the hell does that mean?

“Please explain yourself.” I said with as much calmness I could muster over the defensive tide that was quickly bubbling to the surface.

“Well, I mean I’ve read all your old blogs….” She explained.

And ???? …. I didn’t actually have to voice that, she got it from the look on my face so she continued.

Pausing here and there trying to carefully weigh her words, “I just mean you seemed so sexual in your blog. When I first met you, you seemed SO overtly sexual. But now, with me … you’re just not.”

Wow.

Ouch.

Great.

Nothing like not living up to your own hype! Holy crapola. I knew my blog would come back and bite me, but I had no idea it would bite this hard.

I didn’t really have that much to say. Was she blaming me for our less then XXX evening? Couldn’t she understand that I was in a lot of pain, sleep deprived and starving? Ok, not starving since I scarfed down some Taco Bell right before this revelation. But still.

I had been in other relationships where sex was expected on every date. I was fine with that. I was better then fine. I was great with that!

But these women were not my girlfriends (yes, I’m aware how bad that sounds) and I didn’t see them as often as I see my girl. I see her almost every other day, if not every day. These other pseudo-relationships were hot and heavy sure, but it’s easy to put on your porn star persona once or twice a week. But every night, after a long hard day? Maybe every night just isn’t going to measure up to that level of mind-blowing, acrobatic, screaming at the top of your lungs till the cops come knocking, kind of sex.

Another factor I felt she hadn’t given enough credit to, for our lack of sexual Olympics, was the lack of privacy we have. We are both in room-mate hell right now, which lends itself to a lot of public sex. (Which call me crazy, can be pretty hot and always is.)

So after a night of sleeping on this problem that I didn’t even know we had and on my sore ribs, I woke up nauseous and for the first time in our relationship, feeling claustrophobic. A feeling I was all too used to from past dating experiences. But I thought this one was different.

I had decided before I even opened my eyes that morning that I wasn’t going to talk to her that day. That I needed “space.”

But after several apologetic texts, I gave in and spoke to her. But to my surprise, hearing her voice only made me feel worse. So I cut it short.

She met me at my gym before my Muay Thai kickboxing class bearing little presents she knew would go a long way in melting the ice. But I had to get to class before she had enough time to really make any dent in my bad mood.

It wasn’t until after 2 hours of fight classes that I felt better. I guess I just needed to hit something to clear my head. But as soon as I got out of the gym, we talked … and talked … and true to lesbian relationships, talked some more. Ugh.

Eventually it came out that:

She wasn’t complaining about my sexual prowess. But was insecure about hers due to things she had read on this crazy website called cardcarryinglesbian.com.

Whew! Thank god, my reputation was still in tact.

But really, what we finally realized was that every time we do have sex it’s always amazing. When I say amazing, I mean, fucking hot! Up against my car on the street. In my backseat. In her front seat. Up against her car in the middle of the night in Long Beach. Outside at a park. The beach. Life guard towers. While we’re driving home after a club …. the list of public and inappropriate places goes on and on.

So maybe we only have sex 2 or 3 times a week. But when we do, it’s ridiculously good.

What exactly was her point that night? We discussed that and decided it was just her night to be an ass. Everyone gets at least one free pass.

She apologized. I accepted.

So, now we’re off to have sex in a dark corner of GirlBar to celebrate my birthday today!!!

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