Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

Myspace rated “NC-17″ – Facebook rated “G”

Posted on 24. Jun, 2009 by Sasha.

I don’t understand why, but there seems to be a bit of rivalry between people who prefer  Facebook with those hotter people who prefer Myspace.

Personally I’m a myspace kinda girl. I like it, I get to play music on my page, show my personality through my layout, pictures, quotes, etc. Basically, a myspace page is like a paper doll you get to dress up any way you like. While facebook is just plain paper you get to write your name on in the upper left hand corner. Boring.

I also think that myspace is more lesbian friendly. We can search for each other by age, location, height and weight! It’s like a cyber buffet of all you can eat lesbians. Believe me, that search function is pretty nifty, that’s how I found my true blue buddy, Maggie. It’s even how I got to know Remi  before we actually met face to face at LB Pride last year. So you see …. myspace helped me make the two most important connections I have with other lesbians.

Facebook however just seems to be this boring page with a few pictures and a dumb wall that your friends can scribble on. I just don’t get it. But I do have one.

Why would I have a boring facebook page after I’ve so clearly insulted the hell out of it? Easy. My myspace page reflects me: my political views, my writing, my love life, my social life, my taste in music and my proclivity to use the word “fuck” a lot. Not so family friendly and when I say family, I don’t mean the big happy gay family we’re all a part of. I mean my extended, very Mormon, conservative family.

While my Mormon family has happily accepted that I’m a lesbian, with open arms and Christmas cards sent in both our names, I am not ready for them to read my blog where I regularly discuss my sex life, drunken nights out in Hollywood and the occasional reference to threesomes. My myspace page has several links to this blog and like I said, I do have a potty mouth.

Up until now, most of my family has been safely hidden away in Palm Desert, 100 miles away from my “worldly lifestyle” I so enjoy. But one of my cousins just moved up here with her two children and police officer husband. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally stoked to be closer to family. However, somehow …. this also translated to being closer on the internet.

Between her and my sister, I had to join facebook just to keep them away from my myspace page! So now I have a lame, albeit rated “G” for Mormon audiences facebook page, where the raciest thing on it is the fact that I’m a lesbian and one picture of me and Remi.

So in the long run I can see the use in facebook: to keep my life compartmentalized like it should be. Rated “G” family fun in one box. Rated “NC-17” lesbian fun in the other.

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Survey time!

Posted on 13. May, 2009 by Sasha.

The funny thing is I actually have two things to blog about. One of them involves nipples and another involves my friend Maggie and her quote, “It’s good to be pretty.”

However I’m in the middle of an acute attack of writer’s block. But I have a deep, inner urge to blog …. ok, maybe it’s not meaning of life deep but it’s a tickle and I have to scratch it. So I saw this “meme” on myspace and after looking up the term meme decided it would be a pseudo suitable substitute for a real blog.

If you need blog material feel free to gank it with my blessing. Anyone who doesn’t know what gank means, it’s time to make the Urban Dictionary your friend. Alrighty then, here we go, if you’re lucky you’ll learn something embarrassing about me, if I’m lucky my ex will read this and get super pissed, haha.

Say you were in a relationship for 2 years and your girlfriend cheated on you:

I would probably plot some impossibly complicated scheme to exact revenge on them in some totally inappropriate and evil way. Then carry it out no matter how long it took and smile inside since revenge is dish best served ice cold. They’d never knew what hit them.

What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about?

How she needs to stop barking so early in the morning.

Your most recent ex says she hates you, you say?

Bite me. I no longer care what you think and you should go now before my girlfriend sees you, she’s looking for a reason to smack you.

Do you miss your first love?

Part of me does, but the other part is still so hurt and furious over what she did I can never forgive her.

Are you happy?

This is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I have awesome puppies, an amazing girlfriend and a couple really great friends.

What do you smell like?

Tuscan Blood Orange, this really pretty, all natural fragrance by Pacifica that I get at Whole Foods. (Yep, the Whole Foods with all the lesbians.)

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?

I keep things interesting.

Last thing that made you cry?

PMS last night. I don’t get bitchy, I get weepy.

What are you excited about?

LONG BEACH PRIDE!!!!! Oh and OC Pride at Knott’s this Friday which would have been even better if Maggie and her awesome gf could have joined us. [...]

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Had to Change my MySpace Status

Posted on 18. Sep, 2008 by Sasha.

OK, so after all the deliberating and drama inherently involved in all lesbian relationships, I took the plunge. It’s official. Yep, the Marine and I are happily coupled up. In spite of the fact that she’s getting deployed in exactly two months, I decided it was better to live fully in the present moment and stop worrying so damn much about tomorrow and tomorrows down the road.

It’s so new I can still freak myself out if I think about it too much. How in the world did two commitment phobic flirts decide to make a go of it, forsaking all other nookie in the name of a monogamous relationship?! Yikes. All other nookie? Yep … wow … look at me, being a grown up.

So wish me and my new girlfriend luck … I think we actually need it. (Hehehe, “My girlfriend” …. that sounds weird coming out of my mouth. I feel like I’m in junior high school all over again, but without the bad perm and sexual identity crisis.)

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I changed my myspace status to “Swinger”

Posted on 21. Jun, 2008 by Sasha.

I wonder what weight people actually place on the myspace relationship status thingy? If it reads “single” vs “in a relationship” does that affect whether or not you send them an add request? If it reads “swinger” do you think you have a better shot at getting lucky? Or do think, “Eeeewwww …. my Puritanical upbringing is rearing it’s ugly head and I can’t deal with free love people.”

Well, I just changed my status to “swinger” not because I am currently sleeping around. Because I’m not … at this moment partaking in all the yumminess that the LA lesbian scene offers up on a silver platter. But because I feel that it represents my mind set a little bit more accurately than simply “single.”

Simply “single” may suggest that, although not currently in an exclusive relationship, I may be prone to monogamy. Which I am not. I may be capable of it, but prone to it? … Not so much.

However, “swinger” suggests that I either am currently or potentially involved with more than one person at a time. It’s the potentiality of that outcome in which I am attempting to represent by a mere click under “edit profile” on my ever so important myspace page.

So I ask you, how much weight do you place on other people’s myspace status?

I know when one of my long time friend’s “single” status changed to “in a relationship” I was so excited I blogged about it. When other friends’ statuses changed in the other direction I was instantly saddened and worried about them. So to me, it can mean a lot.

Perhaps I’m getting too philosophical about this whole thing, it wouldn’t be the first time. But for me, my “swinger” status is more about mindset than actual behavior. Although I would hope that when someone says “single” they really are and not married, but feel single. That would suck.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a stickler for truth in advertising.

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Long Beach Pride & Club Sauvage

Posted on 14. May, 2008 by Sasha.

Hey ladies, as all of you local girls already know it’s Long Beach Pride this weekend! Thank gawd, since I am in serious need of some insane debauchery and new, embarrassing pics of my crew getting drunk and lucky. OK, I don’t need pics of them getting lucky, but a few pics of the lucky ladies before hand is always fun fodder for later.

I’ll be volunteering at the HRC booth at some point so come by and say hi. But the real fun will probably be Sunday night at Club Sauvage , where you can find me with my posse, VIP status as always.

So be sure to come out to the club, come by say hi and buy me a drink … or four.

For more info on Club Sauvage go to their MySpace page. It’s definitely the hottest lesbian club in Long Beach.

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Myspace the Ultimate Lesbian Network

Posted on 09. Apr, 2008 by Sasha.

Myspace gets a bad rap with all the pedophiles and kidnappers on there. But hey, it’s no worse than LA. Personally, I love MySpace. I actually owe Tom a little thank you for the awesome group of ladies I now call my posse.

It all started one night when I was browsing MySpace for single lesbians in my area. I’d gotten to a place where I really didn’t care to meet anyone, I was just “looking.” Yea right! You know how that goes, when you don’t want to admit to anyone, little lone yourself how pathetically bored you’ve become with the local prospects. So in the privacy of your bedroom you turn to your own private pimp, Tom of MySpace to see what he’s got in his stable of cyber singles and swingers, all conveniently categorized into age, location and other vital stats. So I made my selection: women, 21-30, single, gay, with at least a college education, no children and within 20 miles of my zip code. I hit the return button and Tom didn’t disappoint.

Almost immediately I came across a profile called “Now Recruiting.” It was a page put together by three best friends, tired of wasting their time on douche bag fakes and morons who couldn’t differentiate between “they’re” and “their.” They had put together an ingenious application process meant to weed through the grammatically challenged and bisexually slutty. Slutty was fine as long as you were only being a gay slut. If you couldn’t count how many men you’d slept with or know when you needed to refer to a dictionary, you probably weren’t their cup of tea.

Something in their witty sarcasm and high standards struck a chord with me and so I sat down with a cup of coffee and spent an afternoon filling out their application. I’m proud to say that I was their first recruit. From the first time I met them, there was a connection that I knew meant only one thing: I’d found some real friends. The type of friends you can see yourself with twenty years down the line.

Throughout the next few months many girls applied and many girls failed to pass the test. We eventually ended up with two more girls bringing the count to six. This number would prove to be a little fluid with the addition and subtraction of significant others that would come and go. I think there’s a few keepers in that list so the number’s a bit higher now.

But the funniest thing is that this application process proved extremely effective. It seemed that the lucky few who survived the grammar section of the test all seemed to get along from the moment we met, as if we’d been friends forever. Which is useful since that’s exactly how long I plan on hanging out with them.

So while Tom has yet to deliver what I ordered: a tall, educated and super hot chick with eyes only for me, he’s done something better. He hooked me up with my best buds who are proving to be a great source of inspiration, both personally and professionally.

I don’t know about facebook, but I know that Myspace is definitely dyke friendly and lesbian approved by yours truly, a card carrying lesbian since 2001.

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