Card Carrying Lesbian … What’s in your wallet?

My Secret Obsession

Posted on 07. Sep, 2009 by Sasha.

I have a secret obsession. Something so embarrassing it took almost a year for me to come clean about it to my girlfriend. It’s one of those seedy obsessions that once I start surfing the internet for it, I can’t stop myself. I can’t help myself sometimes, it makes me feel better. When I’m really depressed and Remi’s at work I’ll go online and see if I can find any new pictures of ….. are you ready for it? …… Of wedding cakes.

Yep. There. I said it. I’m obsessed with pretty wedding cakes. Not weddings. Not wedding dresses. Just the cake part. I seriously think of it like whimsical art that’s yummy in the tummy. How much better can it get?

I never told Remi about my secret desire, she sort of found me out. Late one night some time last week, she came home from work and found me all cried out in bed. It had been one of those days. She sat down at the desk, opened the laptop and to my utter embarrassment there was a page still open full of wedding cake pictures! She turned to me, a huge grin played across her lips as she said, “Weddddddddinnnnnnnng cakes, huh babe?”

I could have died from embarrassment. The last thing I want is her thinking I’m trying to hint around about marriage! Oh my gawd, I am not THAT girl! I’m so NOT THAT girl, I’m usually the one scoffing the loudest at any talk about brides to be. Yet here I was, caught red handed with dozens of pictures of wedding cakes all over my desktop. Ugh.

Luckily our relationship is secure enough and serious enough that the discovery didn’t send my girlfriend running from the room. It actually started an equally embarrassing and rather mushy ten minute conversation where Remi was sweet enough to day dream with me for a while about a few “what ifs” and “maybe somedays.”

Which got me thinking …. of course. That it’s really quite ironic that now that I might actually believe in marriage (prop 8 be damned!) I probably won’t ever get an engagement ring. Because besides the cake, the ring is my next favorite part.

Why wouldn’t I get a big fancy engagement ring? Because we’re both women and who gives it to who? Both of us? I can’t see Remi sporting a three carat diamond and it wouldn’t exactly be fair of me to want something more then she gets. I don’t know!?

In the end, it doesn’t matter. If and that’s a big if, it ever came down to actually setting a date, bling is the least important thing in this relationship. I’m proud to say I’ve actually let a lot of that materialism go.

Then today a friend of mine sent me a text message that said, “We’re engaged!!!!” and attached was a picture of her finger with a three carat, emerald cut diamond ring on it. She’s a lesbian and she got an engagement ring. WTF???

Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked for her happiness. Really. But it totally threw a wrench in my mental dialogue about lesbians and engagement rings.

What do you think about the topic? W

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Breeders Beware

Posted on 10. Jun, 2009 by Sasha.

I am a U.S. citizen, third generation born and raised here in California. My grandfather served in the U.S. military. My own father was a Marine in Vietnam. He has two purple hearts. Yet somehow because I’m gay, it’s legal to strip me of my civil rights. Somehow, because I’m gay that makes me a 2nd class citizen.

My girlfriend served in Iraq as a Marine. She too comes from a military family. Yet all that our families have done for this country doesn’t count for anything as soon as you are brave enough to stand up and live your life out in the open as a lesbian.

Well if fundamentalists want to be such sticklers for the Bible then they shouldn’t pick and choose. Enjoy this little video ….

And going along with the theme of this blog … Jack Black is awesome as Jesus. Please watch and enjoy the irony.

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I’m Ashamed

Posted on 26. May, 2009 by Sasha.

I had another blog all ready to go. A trivial one about my winning a wet t-shirt contest. But after hearing the California Supreme Court ruling upholding Prop 8, I feel it would be inappropriate today.

I was making coffee this morning when I heard the news from the other room. Remi heard it too and came running down the hallway to hear the ruling with me. We stood there anticipating …. and when we heard that it was upheld my heart sank. I don’t like to think of myself as an overly teary eyed kind of girl. But hearing the ruling brought an unexpected wave of emotion up.

I didn’t want to look Remi in the eye to see her reaction either. I just hurried back to the kitchen to finish making coffee.

I don’t think there’s anything I could possibly write about on this topic that you haven’t already said yourself, read somewhere else already or just plain feel yourself. All I can really articulate is that what hurts the most is feeling the overwhelming hatred, bigotry and outright injustice that is being heaped on us as a group and individually through this prop 8 debacle.

I’ve always been proud to be born and bred in California. We’ve always been known as trailblazers in social issues. But not today. Not lately. Today I am ashamed of California.

What a very sad day.

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I stole Portia

Posted on 24. Mar, 2009 by Sasha.

OK, so I subscribe to this awesome lesbian website called grrlplanet.com. The auther of grrlplanet is a personal friend of mine, since all lesbian bloggers rock and we like to stick together. She’s even nice enough to give me a heads up when she’s going to post some pervy pics of a starlet’s bootaay while bending over and thinking of me. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Anyways, I was doing my daily read through of her page today and saw this video which I totally had to gank for my page. So to pay her back for stealing her shit today I am urging everyone who reads this to go check out her page by clicking here –> grrlplanet.com It’s awesome and you’ll get addicted to it just like I did. PS: It’s a perfect read with your morning coffee and it’s fat free, unlike the croissant I’m drooling over right now.

But first, watch this funny video of Ellen’s wife. BTW, I think she’s way hotter when she uses her Aussy accent. But whatever. Ellen’s more my type anyways.

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Why the term “Partner” is just toooo gay

Posted on 11. Mar, 2009 by Sasha.

Before Remi moved in she was my girlfriend. But as soon as we shared a mailing address we all of sudden were relegated to “partner” status. WTF is up with that?

Reasons I am less then fond of the term “partner”:

• It makes us sound like a pair of 50yr old lesbians that belong to a senior bowling league, garden and wear mom jeans.

• The term girlfriend sounds so much more fun, sexually active, young and carefree. The term partner sounds like we’re on the waiting list to adopt a Cambodian child after we get back from our tour with the Peace corps.

• Being partners sounds like we’re both vegetarian, animal rights activists, environmentalists hippies that obsessively read labels and then loudly proclaim how dangerous parabens and sulfates are in the aisles of the supermarket. But I’m the only one that does that, my “partner” just rolls her eyes and walks away pretending not to know me. Not too mention that she eats meat like it’s going out of style while I drool over my fried tofu.

• Somehow the label partner easily gets rolled into “domestic partner” which sounds even worse! Now instead of adopting a gaggle of orphans it sounds like we’ve become those scary old cat ladies down the block with twenty cats and a few ferrets for good measure. You know the one’s I mean, the ladies who wear pictures of their cats on their tee shirts and drive mini-vans that smell like cheetos.

• Once we’ve hit “Domestic partner” status “Life Partner” is just a hop skip and a jump away! Oh gawd …. every time I hear that my gag reflex kicks in. I mean seriously. Straight people don’t have to go around defining the state of their relationships as intricately as we do! You never hear Bob say, “This is my life wife” or “This is a very serious relationship as you can tell by my use of extra qualifying adjectives I put in front of her name when I introduce her.” Nope. Breeders simply introduce their significant other and people just smile and accept it.

• Partner also sounds like either a) we’ve opened a business together or b) I’m trying too hard to be politically correct. Which in itself can be seen two different ways:
  1) Am I trying to avoid saying I have a girlfriend as to avoid the judgmental looks of whoever I happen to be speaking to … or … 2) Do I think that the term partner is the best us gays can do till Prop 8 gets overturned and we have the right to use the term wife or fiance like everyone else?

• Last but not least, I might as well introduce my “partner” as, “This is my lover, Cindy.” *cough*gag*gag*

Why is the term partner seen as more serious then girlfriend?

Is it the gay version of fiance?

Is it the politically correct term for shacking up? I

s it just our way of getting a deal on car insurance and a Costco membership?

In our case it’s not a label we’ve embraced on our own. It was just sort of thrown on us by well meaning people who thought they were being respectful of our “alternative” lifestyle.

Well anyway you look at it, I don’t like the term for my relationship but I respect it when others choose to use it. As of right now, I have a girlfriend. Period.

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Just Wear It, Dang It!

Posted on 23. Feb, 2009 by Sasha.

Click on the image to go the WhiteKnot.org and wear something to show the world that we’re everywhere. We’re not going to hide in the shadows afraid to make waves in a conservative world. We deserve equality and we’re not going to give up till we get it.

The following is from White Knot:

Wear a White Knot to show support for Marriage Equality.

The White Knot is the symbol for marriage equality. Wear it every day to show your support and to create conversation. Use it to tell someone today that equal rights are important to everyone. Share the White Knot and
spread the word that all loving couples deserve the same legal rights, benefits, and respect that civil marriage bestows. Visibility is the goal. Whether you are gay, straight, or otherwise, please show your support by
wearing the Knot and telling people why you are wearing it. Wear your White Knot to work, to school, to your place of worship. Together, we will keep the topic at the top of people’s minds and keep the conversation going. [...]

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Two Lesbians Walk into the VA ….

Posted on 16. Feb, 2009 by Sasha.

Going to the Long Beach VA with my Marine girlfriend is always an experience within itself. The other day, she had to go in to get her wrist checked. Apparently, dating me may give her carpal tunnel syndrome or worse.

As soon as we step foot on VA soil, we go into “act straight mode” … no hand holding, no kissing, NO TOUCHING whatsoever. I tell myself that it’s the same thing as if I were going with my straight best friend (if I had one, but she’s long gone because she was a backstabbing bitch). I tell myself that people probably just assume I’m her best friend, totally platonic … uh huh … no hot lesbian action happening here! No sir.

But apparently we stand out over there. Either we look extremely gay or [...]

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Signs you may have accidentally gotten married:

Posted on 05. Jan, 2009 by Sasha.

The first step onto this slippery slope is have her move in. Then the rest is a quick slide downhill. Witness the domino effect:

You join Costco together and one of you has to fill out the “spousal info” or even worse, as in our case, she fills it out for you, because she has ALL your information memorized better then you.

She puts you on her insurance and you’re put on as her wife.

You guys rush home from dinner with friends because you have to walk the kids.

You have a house that you’re now remodeling together and you spend too much time in the paint aisle at Home Depot arguing about shades of yellow.

You start getting mail addressed to both of you.

Strangers assume you’re “domestic partners” when you wonder how they figured out you’re even gay!?

What’s even worse is that people start calling you “partners” instead of “girlfriends” …. WTF??? You’re not 50!

You realize you don’t ever want to become one of those annoying couples that dress alike as you sit there looking at each other and realize you’re wearing matching house slippers.

You start worrying that your mothers may not get along at family functions.

You bake extra cookies so she can take some to work with her the next day. Then immediately feel as if you’re a 1950’s housewife. Albeit a lesbian housewife.

You hate being called domesticated but mostly because it’s getting harder and harder to deny.

So what’s an accidently married couple to do to break out of the mold?? I’m not sure yet. But you can be damn sure I’m going to figure it out because I’ll be a monkey’s mother before I become half of a boring pseudo-married couple.

Mmmmm …. I don’t know I think this calls for some daring public sex to liven things up a bit. Maybe even at Costco! ……. Oh gawd. Somebody shoot me.

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