No, I’m not talking about bipolar episodes when I see robot spiders crawling out of the walls. I’m talking about the Insanity Workout. Have you heard about it? If you’ve seen informercials in the last few years, I’m sure you have.
Well, after my first 30 day challenge of working out almost everyday. I was stoked when I met that goal. My reward was going back to my fight gym. Which I’m proud to say, this is my second week back. But so far, I’ve only done the kali class. I’m a little scared to get back into the krav classes for two reasons: 1) it’s early in the morning and I’m an infamous insomniac 2) It can be pretty hard on my back and since last week’s class on knife defenses, I’ve spent this entire week rehab-ing my back so that I wouldn’t miss class this week.
I realize that I get bogged down by the details. I have that sort of brain that ruminates over and over again, about the tiniest details. I can get so overwhelmed in the planning process, I never get to the action stage. Which is why the 30 day challenge worked for me. It was a mind trick I played on myself. I took the “choice” out of it and all the possible excuses. It was like, “This is the only thing you MUST do today. Everything else is gravy. But you MUST do it. Even if you suck today. JUST DO IT.”
I basically took this last week off, for recovery and my back. But now I need a new 30 day challenge. I have several things I need to make happen. But as soon as I start making this long list of goals to meet, I get that familiar feeling of overwhelming stress again. So I need to take myself out of my old mindset and back into my new one. Because it’s true what they say, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got. And I for one, am ready to move on.
This is also part of another mental exercise I’m trying to stick to: to stop comparing myself to who and what I used to be. To stop saying, “I used to be …” “I remember when I could …” and my favorite, “I want to get back to ….” That’s all very defeatist if you think about it.
We can’t go back. We wouldn’t really want to even if we could. But to constantly compare myself to where I was 10 years ago (physically) is depressing and brings up a lot of regret. Regret and depression are not forward moving feelings. They’re quicksand feelings. And they don’t serve anyone in actually moving towards new goals.
So I had to really think about this and this is what I came to realize: I don’t want to be who I used to be. I want to be better. I don’t want to get back to where I was. I want to go further. I don’t want to be as thin as I used to be when I wa
s abusing my body in so many ways. I want to be the fittest and healthiest I have ever been in my life.
I also realized that I should change my exercises up. The treadmill was a good start. I’ve never done that before. But now, I need something new and Remi has been talking about getting the Insanity Workout. At first I was scared of it. But then I thought about it and decided to go for it.
It gets here Wednesday!!! *Eeeek!* Kinda nervous. Mostly because we’re going to be doing it together. But she asked me if I would do it with her to be her support and motivator. How could I say no?
So that’s one of my challenges I’m giving myself. I believe it’s a 60 day challenge.
But my one other challenge I just started was to get up at 7:00 a.m. every day for 30 days. I know most of you normal sleepers think that’s a super lame challenge. But let me put this in perspective for you; I almost flunked out of my first semester in college because I missed ALL of my classes that were before noon. I just couldn’t do it. But that was then. And I’m not looking back right? The new Sasha is going to be a morning person! It doesn’t matter if I’ve never been able to do it before. Because now I am ready to be something I have never been before, that way, looking back doesn’t make any sense anymore.
Between my two new challenges of 60 days of doing the Insanity workout and 30 days of getting up at 7. The getting up early one is the one that scares me the most. Probably because like they say, it’s hard to defeat an enemy that has outposts in your head. When it’s a physical challenge, I have no doubt in my ability to meet it head on. But changing my sleeping pattern??? Now that particular demon and I have gone 10 rounds and then some …. this time, I’m going for a knockout.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
~ Henry Ford
That was just a little bit of what he teaches. It would be an entire blog in itself to tell you about all the cool things we get the honor of learning under him. But it’s a taste.
“I want to be the fittest and healthiest I have ever been in my life.” Sasha you can do it! One day at a time. Keep your goal but also enjoy the journey along the way. I love the cartoon like pic of the hippo/unicorn!!! As of today I have lost 10 pounds in this last month. I will be one of your cyber fitness buddies.
I always took that pic as a really awesome body image reminder to be comfortable in your own appearance .
It’s tough to be a rhino who wants to be a unicorn, because by becoming a unicorn, you cease to be a rhino. Maybe the world needs rhinos, and not rhinos who want to achieve unicorn-ism, but rhinos comfortable in their own armor-plated skins. I mean, rhinos have thick skins for a reason. And if you take into consideration that unicorns don’t exist, will a rhino be miserable never living up to their own expectations, in a life never truly lived? Then they’d be depressed, feeling like a failure for being exactly what they were made to be: a fat rhino with a thick skin to deflect the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
I’m coming to terms with my insomnia- the only times I was able to get past it and be on the early bird schedule was when I had intense physical work during the day which would exhaust me into a collapsed sleep, and then I’d get up early because I wasn’t just responsible for myself (like in school- PS the same thing just happened to me with a morning class!) but other people depended on me, too. You could make it so 7 AM is dog walking time, or something where someone else is depending on you to do what you gotta do.
As for the Insanity- yeah, the exercise program is all I heard about for a while on FB. It’s no joke, and I wish you both success! P90X is the other one.
I love the workout program, sounds great.
As a fellow insomniac who is right now in the throes of a bad insomnia cycle, i wish i could offer you advice on how to beat it (because i have), but im too busy cursing the friend who dragged me out of bed this morning earlier than ive woken up in months to do so. Sorry.
*have in the past.
Jaz – Thank you, you’re always so supportive.
Kirsten – I loved the way you described rhinos!! And yes, I thought that pic was apropo because as women, we often times see images in the media that doesn’t really exist in real life and yet there we are, torturing ourselves for not being photoshopped in real life.
Elegy – the only person I could get up for is my wife. But she’s the epitome of an enabler and always tells me “go back to sleep ! There’s no reason you have to get up this early baby. Shhhh … Go back to sleep” as she rubs my back or runs her hands through my hair and before I know it, its 3 hours later!
Also, my dogs grew up with me and have adjusted their sleep cycle to me. Poor little babies! But now if you try to wake them up before 10, they basically refuse and pull the covers up over their heads!
WWG: don’t worry about it, I’m sure whatever you did I’ve done with some success for a limited amount of time. Ive tried EVERYTHING X10 plus about a 100 self made ideas of how to beat insomnia. NOTHING works except sleeping pills and a will of iron to get up with the alarm. But I can’t take pills every night of my life.
Hi Sasha, I’ve become a regular reader of your blog, but this is only my second comment. I’ve done P90x and P90x2 and I love them! I’m going to get Insanity next. I used to be in the Army and I’m in better shape now then I was then. (I got out in 2002) If you follow the exercise program and the dietary program, you will definitely get results, and it may help with the insomnia. I wish you luck!
Hi Shauntee,
Thanks for the encouragement! I have P90X but never stuck to it because of the pull ups!! LOL … I think Insanity might be a better option because I love that there are NO props. I like the idea that all I need is me.
you can do it Sasha! i can’t wait to hear how you like insanity! i just finished jillian michaels body revolution and am looking for something new! my new goal is to be the healthiest and fittest i’ve ever been too! i’ve been smaller than I am now, but that was b/c i was starving myself. i don’t let myself look back at the size i was, i look towards being healthy and strong. i do have days where i skip a workout, but i don’t beat myself up anymore. one day at a time, do the best you can that day, is my philosophy.
I’ve tried resetting my internal clock, but it seems I just can’t get out the door before 10:00. 2:00 is preferable. Luckily, I am able to work swing-type hours. I simply choose to believe that night owls are superior creatures!
It looks like you are on your way to being a lean, mean Kali-fighting machine. Good luck!
@Sasha, yup, I get you. I’ve actually been using a sleeping pill lately and it has NOT helped. Then again, one day I decided to take it super early (7pm) and fell asleep finally at midnight. Perhaps that’s why taking it at 2am wasn’t really helping? I also have felt totally hung over with it. I changed to a different sleeping pill the other day though and feel less hung over, so who knows.
I’m kind of of the opinion that you can’t fully change your internal clock, because, duh, it’s internal. The moment I’m allowed to wake up whenever I want, I automatically wake up at 10am or later. Yet there are others who wake up at 5am every damned day, no matter what time they went to bed the night before, or if it’s a weekend.
Personally, I just want to petition the world to start later. Wanna join my campaign?
WWG – Where do I sign? Yes, please. My doctor and I actually found that my cortisol (the thing that gets you up and going in the morning) actually runs opposite of “normal” people. How can I fight that?
I believe there are people that naturally have an upside-down circadian rhythm, and I am one of them. Throughout my life, I had a difficult time getting up early. It’s always been like I’ve got lead hands, feet and head. I’ve always been prone to being tardy for the party and do better with flexible work schedules instead of the rigid 8 to 5. If I try to go to bed at what the rest of the world considers a “decent hour” I lay there and toss and turn until 3am, sometimes later. Sasha, I applaud your resolve to get up out of the bed and join the daytime people. Let us know how it’s working for you at the end of 30-days because it will be interesting if you’re able to reset your internal clock. I have never done Insanity, but know several people who have and they all say it’s the most difficult workout they’ve ever done, but they also say it yields great results. I do worry about the strain on your back though, so make sure you listen to your body and don’t try to push through the pain. You might also consider DDP Yoga ( ddpyoga.com ). There is a Vietnam Vet who became overweight because of his injuries and had to use a walker and that man is now running because he “just did it”. There is a video of him on the site, and it is very inspiring. Best of luck to you. When do you start? I want to cyber join in.