Bridget and Robin's actual home. It looks like it could be a Christmas card.
About a week ago or so, I was on Facebook when I noticed that a friend had posted a blog on her page about the ordeal that she and her partner have been going through for the last eight years. I read it and was in shock. But part of me wasn’t really, because homophobia is more real then ever, it seems. But it still hurt my heart that these two women are having to go through this and it made me once again, give thanks that Remi and I happen to live in a very accepting area. But not everyone is that lucky. Which is why, after reading their story, I asked them if I could re post it on CCL. In the hopes that it would help others, going through similar situations to not feel so alone. As well as to open the eyes of us, that aren’t seeing this type of bigotry on a daily level to remember, that it’s still happening. And if it’s happening to a few of us, it’s really happening to ALL of us. After you’re done reading the story, I hope you will take special note of their hope that others will share their stories as well. Please, feel free to leave in the comments section anything you want to share.
Ten years ago we moved into this house we bought together. It was one week before the 9-11-01 tragedy. I had no idea we would be moving next door to two ignorant,hateful people with five children,encouraged to hate also. We endured 8 years of harassment. We Tried to get along with them. It wasn’t until we started calling the police for every incident that it stopped. We love our house,despite all the money we have had to put into it. Our former apt. is no more expensive than our mortgage so I guess we made a good decision. Homophobia is alive and well in Syracuse,NY. We have done nothing to these people and are hardly home that much, at least together. There is a black man across the street that screamed at me that we were an a abomination and he was a man of god. He was angry because my plow guy pushed a very small pile of snow onto his lawn. I had instructed my plow guy not to do this already and told him I would take care of it. He continued to scream at me,this time that I was a racist. He also stated how dare we put Christmas lights on our house when we are not Christian. The people in this neighborhood are clearly disturbed. I suppose this sort of thing is every where,some subtle and not so subtle. My heart goes out to those two women down south whose house was burned down. It has served to make me want to be more of an activist and outspoken about our rights to live as we wish in peace.
We have had stones thrown at our house,and I have witnessed their 12 yr old son throw stone at our dogs after I heard a yelp,our windows in the garage shot out with BB’s then stones,intercepted her son running up to our house with orange paint can after we spent 2600$ painting the house. Dike written on our fence,by her 8yr old son,of course spelled wrong..All kinds of verbal harassment. They opened our gate on two occasions and let our dogs loose. Thanks to our mailman,I found them chasing cars together on the busiest street around here.
We love our house and have put a lot of money into by necessity. We are in no position to sell or move right now unless we win the lottery. I will not let these people drive me out. There are some good people in this neighborhood.I would like to add that it took a tremendous amount of self control not to do something violent to these people but realized I would only be hurting myself. I believe they were trying to provoke us at times and I knew I could be arrested and jeopardize my RN license. One day Robin had her car stuck in the snow at the end of the driveway as they laughed at her. They hurled verbal insults at us about our weight,etc. There were so many incidents. Her sons would walk by daily and spit on our lawn,give us the finger driving by. I believe none of this would have happened if we had been a heterosexual couple. They obviously thought they could get away with this since we were lesbians. She does day care and even had her day care kids insulting us. I did report this to the child care council here because teaching children to hate is a form of child abuse in my opinion and they did call her in and it did stop. Someone I told this too seemed appalled that I did that but I believe I was justified. We tried appeasing them at first because we did not want things to escalate. However I know now that getting tough with them and documenting every incident,taking pictures and calling the sheriff finally stopped a lot of this. Some of the police were great but some not so supportive.
I am ok with you posting this using my first name. Perhaps it will help others feel not so alone. Maybe you could invite others to share their stories. Thanks for your support.
Bridget and Robin
It’s terrible and ridiculous that these women have to endure this. They bought that house, pay taxes, seem like lovely additions to the neighborhood… it’s sad that it’s the children next door that seem to be doing the majority of it too. My partner just moved into my home, that I bought 2 years ago. The neighbors seem ok, but I really hope we never have to go through anything like this. Especially since I have 2 children.
So sorry for this couple and so many others that live through this type of harassment.
Damn, my mom and I were just talking about homophobia- internalized and external.
Remi and I always complain about our gossipy neighbors. But after reading this, we realized we should be grateful they want to know us! We have never felt the slightest bit of homophobia on our street! It sickens me that this couple has to endure this sort of hatred. My heart and prayers go out to them. And it’s even more shocking that it’s in New York no less!
Reading about things like this makes me so angry I can barely write! Bridget and Robin certainly are handling this a lot more gracefully than I would. Good for them for going public with this story. Homophobia and bigotry need to be put on display and on notice because they thrive in dark little corners where no one can see them. I wouldn’t even mind if this story became sensationalized through any major media outlet. Throw on the floodlights! Bring on the hype! The more exposure this story gets, the better! Being actively homophobic is a crime and there should be justice for the victims.
I second that Rexie! The more media exposure this gets, the better! America is supposed to be about acceptance and freedom, and it really makes me angry when one group is discriminated against by anyone for the simple face that they are different from the norm. I just don’t understand where people get off thinking that they have the right to judge someone. No one has the right to make assumptions, let alone harass someone b/c of they’re sexual preference. Its even worse when it happens to someone in the LBGT community. everyone has the basic right to love and live their life as it makes them happy when they aren’t doing anything to hurt anyone….
These hate crimes make me absolutely sick! Being a child advocate professionally for now 15 years I can tell you – you did the right thing reporting this. Hate is taught not born with. I will research some resources through my files and pass it on to Sasha for you. I JUST had to comment on this post to lend you and your wife support – this topic is too close to home for me and too horrible a topic for me to not say something especially with the line of work I do. Best wishes. Focus on the beautiful love you two share and not on the ignorant hate you thankfully do not share with your neighbors. How rich your life of love. How empty their life of hate. Jazmenha
Whenever I see abusive people, I think, well at least I’m not the one who has to go home to them. Although being a neighbor isn’t much better. I feel sorry for their kids who have to live within those four walls filled with hatred and judgement. They take on their parent’s attitude as a way to fit in with those hateful people. So sad.
I think mean and hate-filled people only understand two things: peer pressure and fear of the law. When one or both of those things are weak, these people run amok, as they have in your situation. But once they realize they may be in trouble with the law and/or public pressure tells them it’s not okay, they will generally back down, at least if they think they might be discovered. Some people think that showing love and patience to people like this will bring them around. I don’t believe that. That might work for neutral people who are misled or ignorant. But for bullies, and that is what these people are, they will only quit when restrained by something more powerful than them.
Where are the good people in your neighborhood? Are they tolerant? That’s all well and good, but tolerance does nobody any good without action. Good people have the power to shut your neighbors down. This is so frustrating – assholes will be assholes, monsters will be monsters, but where are the good people to stop them? Tolerance alone is nothing.
A few months ago, I watched the slut walk (protesting a Canadian constable’s inference that women ask for trouble when they don’t dress modestly) in our city while I was at work. A wall of women and men marching together, holding up signs and shouting that it is not okay to rape a woman no matter what (duh). But there was something very powerful in this – for the first time, I felt like I, as a woman, was supported by the society I live in. The men on the sidelines who smirked shuffled away. I felt there was NO SHAME for rape victims – that the shame belongs to the perpetrators and that society does not accept rapists. This is the power of good people acting on others’ behalves.
Good people have joined their voices in women’ rights, civil rights and other causes and bad people take cover, or they shuffle away. Until good people come to your aid and your neighbors’ actions are brought out into the open, you’re doing the smart thing by getting the law involved.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. There is no excuse for your neighbors’ actions and you deserve recompense.
If any person screams at another that “he is a man of god” while throwing out hate speeches/insults is no man of God! No human-being is the judge of any other! God is about love, not hate.
This neighbor is obviously not versed in the word and is basically trying to bully with his hateful soul and ideals as those coming from God’s mouth. Sooo not good for him to do such a thing!
So sorry for you all to endure such hateful neighbors. Don’t let theme drive your family away from its home; stay where you are. I would.
@Rexie – I agree about throwing on the floodlights! Expose them to media and other neighbors as well in anyway possible. Most neighbors don’t like bully neighbors in the least.
Being a native New Yorker, this does not shock me. I grew up in Queens and spent my entire life on the subway system and traveling through the state.
Perhaps because there are so many liberal people, the conservatives are just driven insane or something!
I lived in NYC up until 2 years ago when I moved to Atlanta, Georgia to be with my (now) wife. There has only been 1 incident I can remember in the last 2 years (in the dirty south) where somebody said something to us. Compare that with almost daily stares and verbal harassment while living in NYC.
I feel such sadness that these women have to deal with this garbage! My wife & I were stuck in a home she purchased before we met… We got so fed up with the location (a suburban subdivision-puke)that we just foreclosed on it… It sucks financially but now we’re 100% happier.
Perhaps they should file a harassment suit against the neighbors. It sounds like they have the legal history to back up their claims.