Lesbians Need to Live Somewhere!!!

Screen Shot 2014-03-15 at 3.04.44 PM

A recent comment from a reader named, Elizabeth sparked this most recent post. I’m going to start off by saying that I need help from YOU, the reader. Please leave comments with any pertinent information on the cities listed or any cities left out. Come on ladies, there are lesbians in need of advice.

I’ll start with the comment:


So, the last comment is over a year old now, and the article itself much older still, but hope springs, etc. ^^

My fiancee lives in Melbourne, VIC, and we’re trying to decide where we would be better off living. We’re both on disability assistance, which means that likely the one that ends up moving will lose hers since governments tend not to like sending their money overseas to actually help their citizens… >.>

 Anyway, for my part, I’m researching areas that could be potential future homes for us. Criteria-wise, we want to find an area that is both lesbian- and trans*-friendly, that is inexpensive (I know that’s going to be an issue… >.< ), and where we might be able to either connect with friends/support networks, or where we can reasonably easily build them. She’s looking at places down in Oz (though we’re a bit down on that side currently as she’s tired of all the Yobbos (Aussie Redneck-types) everywhere). ^^

 I’m trying to put together a list of locations, and then narrow our options from there. We don’t mind cold, but too much rain/cloudy might be an issue. We don’t mind some warm, but excessive heat is a no. ^^ We’re not picky, not at all!

So far, I’ve got the following as early-potentials (I’m hoping for a list of 15-20 of these):


– Northampton, MA

– Seattle, WA

– Portland, OR

– Durham, NC

– Asheville, NC

– San Francisco, CA

– Los Angeles, CA

– Albany, NY

– Ithaca, NY

– Syracuse, NY

 From these, I’m hoping to get about ten that I can do more in-depth research on, and then narrow that to a list of five to discuss with her. Note that I included Salt Lake as I’m from there, and have a pretty good support network in place. So, help please? Can I get some thoughts or suggestions? Thanks in advance! ^_______^


OK, so I sort of covered what I found out in the original post. But that was a few years ago and a few things have changed. Gay marriage and domestic partnership are legal in more states now then they were in 2009, when I first wrote that. I also found a great article on this very thing over at Autostraddle,  The 21 Most Lesbianish Cities in the US: The Autostraddle Guide

The ladies over at Autostraddle really have a grip on things, so I’m hopeful that might help.

As for my own advice to Elizabeth? We’re sort of going through the same thing and have been for a while — contemplating moving but within weird confines that straight people never really have to consider. So I get it. I’ll just cut to it from my own personal knowledge of my area and then I’ll leave the comments open for any other advice from your fellow readers 🙂

To all LGBTQ people that might be considering moving to LA for a gay friendly life I can tell you a few things:

1. It IS very gay friendly. We’re EVERYWHERE in the city and in the suburbs of LA. Which actually brings me to one of the most important factors: COST

LA is SUPER EXPENSIVE. It ranges of course, depending on where you look. If you want to live in West Hollywood in the middle of Gaytopia, you’re going to pay … a lot. But WeHo is a lot of gay boys. If you want the lesbian scene, Long Beach seems to be more lesbianic. It’s also cheaper. Parts of it anyways. But then if cost is really an issue, I would highly suggest you look in the surrounding areas of the gay meccas you’re interested, but maybe priced out of.

For example: Long Beach is a lesbian paradise. Rent is affordable – somewhat. But what if you have dogs and need a house? Then you could look right outside of Long Beach, in Carson, San Pedro, Wilmington (not my fave but VERY affordable) and pay a lot less to live, yet still you’re only about 15 minutes from the lesbian mecca!

2. LA is great but there are other Southern Cali areas I would suggest you look at. Starting with: Palm Springs!

Palm Springs is one of the gayest cities in America according to the census. And besides being the city that we got married in, (for those very gay reasons) it’s also amazingly affordable!!! In fact, it’s in my top 3 of relocation options.

Next, I would look in San Diego. Two of our best friends live down there and it’s about as gay friendly as it gets. It also seems more affordable then LA but with more nightlife options then say, Palm Springs.

I don’t really have too much more then that to offer, so hopefully others will chime in. Good luck with your search and please let us know how it turns out!

This article has 5 comments

  1. Heather

    Asheville is supposed to have a fairly lgbt friendly community, and is relatively cheap to live. Problems there, however – the rest of the south is NOT particularly lgbt friendly, Asheville is in the mountains so be prepared for show and cold.

    As for upstate NY:
    Syracuse is a larger city, with the common issues found in such but you could likely live somewhere relatedly close and it will be cheaper or better area for the same price. LOTS of snow and cold (this winner has been beyond horrendous with tons of snow and related below-zero temps)

    Albany is a similar story but I’m not that familiar with it.

    Ithaca, however is a smaller, college town with a wonderfully inclusive lgbt base (is a completely unique town with many artists, musicians and generally free souls 😉 ) is relatively cheap to live there, it’s set on beautiful lake, there isn’t a lot of nightlife but you can always find someone playing at one of the local bars. People are generally quite friendly and accepting. There is cold and snow but a bit less than Syracuse. I commuted there for work for years and loved it.

    We’re about half way between and north of Syracuse and Albany and there is zero lgbt community here 🙁

  2. K

    Northampton Ma! We relocated about 5 years ago and could not be happier. There is a village called Florence that’s technically still in the town of northampton but about a 5 min drive to the center of town so it’s much more cost effective.

    We relocated from Albany, NY and there is no comparison.

    Best of luck

  3. closet

    i can’t relate to this post because my country is kinda gay friendly but we have no same sex civil partnership whatsoever. the fact that queers with an american nationality can get married in general is a huge advantage already. moving in to another state is easier than to move in to another country.
    i wish you american queers wedding bells and queer sweet love 🙂
    a little suggestion, don’t get divorced okay? 🙂 work on your marriage like the good unicorns that you are.

  4. K

    Louisville, Ky. Gay marriage isnt legal in KY but they do recognize out of state marriages and Louisville and lexington actually both have a very art deco feel to them.

  5. V. Venom

    Oregon or Washington I’d have to say you either love those places or you hate them. It’s pretty much grey, overcast, wet, cold and drizzly for 9 months out of the year. As for the rest of the time it’s really beautiful. I don’t know much about the gay culture in these areas, since I moved when I was 15, but Portland is much more open to the LGBTQ+ community than it was.
    Rainbowbraceletproject.com is a site I came upon looking for gay pride stuff. Just mentioning it because it’s a high school in Portland that raises money for related causes.

    Washington – Not sure but I do know my cousin and her gf of 14 years are moving there soon, so I assume they did a lot of research about the gay community.

    Hope some of that helped.


Comments are now closed.