After my adventures in Palm Springs with a bunch of crazy, yet lovable butches and a few naked gay men thrown in for good measure I managed to make it back to LA in time to head to Ripples with my gf.

Before we got there, Remi informed me that there was a small chance we might run into her ex-girlfriend. A girl that I have not met yet and for some reason, I’m hesitant to meet her. Honestly, there’s absolutely no reason for me to feel this way. She’s one of Remi’s closest friends and everything I’ve ever heard about her leads me to believe that she’s a a wonderful person.

…. Huh. Go figure. I might not be looking forward to meeting my girlfriend’s amazing ex. Call me insecure. It wouldn’t be too far off the mark.

But by the time we got there, we got word that we would only be hanging out with her friend Becky and that her ex had already left the club. Whew, guess I didn’t have to down so much liquid courage in the parking lot. Oh well, at least I’d make a good impression on Becky. Nothing like meeting someone for the very first time and they can barely stand up straight.

We spotted Becky as soon as we entered the club. I had never met her before but as soon as I saw her I realized that Remi does not have any ugly friends. Here was yet another fine example of how effin’ hot women in the Marines are.

The night was a blur of alcohol, dancing, flirting and fun. Just to be sure I don’t miss any of the important parts I’ve put together some pseudo bullet points for you:

First impressions of Remi’s friend, Becky:

Cool ass chick, hot and down for a good time.

Becky quickly pointed out a little cutie in a hat that sparked her fancy. So being the excellent wing woman that I am, I made my way over to her and brought her back for Becky as a little token of our new found friendship. Sort of a “Welcome to my world, here’s a tight little femme for you. If you don’t like this one, just pick another and I’ll bring her back for you. All she’s missing is a bow.”

I’ll be honest, due to a serious lack of sleep within the past 24 hours mixed with a good amount of rum and parts of the night are nothing more than a blur. But I clearly remember watching my gf and Becky getting a little dirty on the dance floor. Not that I minded.

I was sidelined on the carpet, drink in hand and about 6 inches from the floor show Remi and Becky were putting on. Some random chick that was standing next to me was also enjoying the eye candy. She leaned in and yelled in my ear, “Are one of those your girlfriend?”

“Yes! That one!” I yelled back over the music and pointed to Remi who had slid all the way down Becky to the floor. Becky was doing her best impression of a stripper pole and Remi was, well … the stripper.

The chick I was talking to licked her lips and said, “Lucky you! Maybe you can take them BOTH home tonight!”

In my drunken state that sounded like a plan. So I gulped down the rest of my drink and made my way into that sandwich.

The funniest part was that we had Becky slammed up against the mirrors, then me, then Remi groping me from behind and that random chick was about 4 inches from our faces on the side, just totally enjoying herself.

At one point she leaned into the mix and yelled, “Somebody’s gettin’ lucky! You lucky bitch!”

After the club closed we stumbled over to Becky’s Jeep where I proceeded to make a total ass of myself.

I’m pretty sure that I suggested a threesome. Not just once but several times. I am willing to take the “Jerk face award” for this one.

Let’s just say that after a few more feeble attempts on my behalf to get our drunken asses on the sand that was just a few feet away, my gf had had enough. The problem with Remi is that when she’s pissed, she hides it. She actually hides it a little too well.

Excuse me for thinking that because Remi and Becky may have fooled around in the past (I say may have because they’re both a little foggy on the details) and the fact that they were practically giving each other lap dances in the club, lead me to the mistaken conclusion that it was a free for all in the way of flirting our asses off that night.

I was wrong.

Very very wrong. And the fact that Remi refused to speak to me on our rather fast drive home that night was only the beginning.

I would prefer not to further humiliate myself on my own blog by sharing all the details of how stupid I felt that night apologizing to Remi. But one part that did sting was when Remi finally did decide to speak to me again, this is what she had to say, “Excuse me for thinking that a month into our relationship may be too soon for you to suggest a threesome with my friend, the first fucking night you ever meet her.”

Ouch.

I was drunk but I take full responsibility. I was out of line and I was an ass. Yet again.

However this story has a happy ending. Remi not only forgave me but took partial responsibility and I got a new friend out the night. I’ve said many times now that Remi has the coolest friends. So far every friend of hers I’ve met have been some of the coolest women I’ve met in a while. They always say you’re known by the company you keep and my gf keeps some pretty hot company.

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