The first step onto this slippery slope is have her move in. Then the rest is a quick slide downhill. Witness the domino effect:
You join Costco together and one of you has to fill out the “spousal info” or even worse, as in our case, she fills it out for you, because she has ALL your information memorized better then you.
She puts you on her insurance and you’re put on as her wife.
You guys rush home from dinner with friends because you have to walk the kids.
You have a house that you’re now remodeling together and you spend too much time in the paint aisle at Home Depot arguing about shades of yellow.
You start getting mail addressed to both of you.
Strangers assume you’re “domestic partners” when you wonder how they figured out you’re even gay!?
What’s even worse is that people start calling you “partners” instead of “girlfriends” …. WTF??? You’re not 50!
You realize you don’t ever want to become one of those annoying couples that dress alike as you sit there looking at each other and realize you’re wearing matching house slippers.
You start worrying that your mothers may not get along at family functions.
You bake extra cookies so she can take some to work with her the next day. Then immediately feel as if you’re a 1950’s housewife. Albeit a lesbian housewife.
You hate being called domesticated but mostly because it’s getting harder and harder to deny.
So what’s an accidently married couple to do to break out of the mold?? I’m not sure yet. But you can be damn sure I’m going to figure it out because I’ll be a monkey’s mother before I become half of a boring pseudo-married couple.
Mmmmm …. I don’t know I think this calls for some daring public sex to liven things up a bit. Maybe even at Costco! ……. Oh gawd. Somebody shoot me.