By Guest Writer, Raye A lot of assumption, arguments, and judgments have been made about the phenomenon of “stone butches” over the years and being newly single and approaching the idea of new, unfamiliar lovers, I was contemplating this very subject the other day. While I am not a completely “stone” butch, I am pretty [...]
Tag Archives: Butch/Femme
Advanced Tips for Femmes
By guest blogger, Raye Many butches are not used to someone wanting them. It throws them off. You femmes don’t realize how rare a butch-loving femme really is. All you see is that you can’t find any butches and you notice all the femmes in competition with you for one. Oddly enough this is [...]
A Butch Voice From Another Generation
I recently had a brief email encounter with a reader that almost made me cry. It all started with a simple misunderstanding when she read an old blog of mine. It was one of those old blogs from when I was dating a stone butch, who wouldn’t “allow” me to touch her below the shoulders. [...]
I didn’t mean that!!!
OMG, I keep getting angry comments on my blog about my experience in San Diego, at Gossip Grill, where I realized that the crowd was more Butch on Butch love, then Butch on Femme energy. Which was cool with me!!!! I mean, hell, I was there with my girlfriend. So it wasn’t like I was [...]
Why I love Butches
OMG …. I am …. in love. I found this video on my friend Sarah’s myspace page and it literally had me laughing out loud at parts and crying at others. THIS is why I love butches. Please watch the amazingly HOT, Ivan Coyote. If after watching this, you’re anything like me you’ll want [...]
Lesbian Housewives
I’m sure some of you have seen some of the comments a few readers have left me, indecent proposals I suppose. If I were single I’d be flattered, maybe a little worried since some of them have a bit of a stalker feel to them. But still flattering non the less. Let’s take a look [...]
Butch By Association
I find it endlessly interesting, the way that us lesbians feel the need to categorize ourselves and each other into these limiting roles of femme, butch, tomboi, androgynous and futch (right in the middle between femme and butch). I’m sure I’m missing some, but these are the ones I hear most often. Actually, I usually [...]
Damsel in Distress seeks Hero on White Steed
Last night after the lights went out, my gf and I started having one of those deep conversations that only come from being a little drunk or so tired you’re almost delusional. We were both exhausted, which translated into being too tired to hit the edit button on our brains. There’s also something about talking [...]
High femme vs Stone Femme: one interpretation
There are countless ways to define the femme identity/gender and as many ways for each woman to express it in her own way. But for the purpose of this single blog I will define these two versions as such: High Femme: a femme lesbian who is ultra feminine in her appearance and behavior. May chose [...]
a femme in the streets but a butch in the sheets
I would say that I am a femme/top. Whoa. What? Is that possible? Hell yea it’s possible. Normally this is not a problem, especially when two femmes are dating. I mean, someone’s got to bring the strap-on! Or even sans strap-on, someone’s got to be the aggressor. That person is usually me. Or at least [...]
Hard Femmes
As you can see by the post date on this, it’s another one I pulled from the archives and I wrote this long before the Real L Word. So this has nothing to do with Whitney being called a hard femme. I have no idea how they meant that on the show. Since butch women [...]
Femme vs. Butch …. shouldn’t it be Butch + Femme?
What I’ve noticed when I talk to most lesbians is that they have a strong opinion on butch women. Maybe it’s just because we’re in LA, where the cultural idea of femininity is not only abundant, it’s extreme. If you doubt what I’m saying just look around at all the silicone walking around on two [...]
Do you choose the femme identity or does it choose you?
I was looking on Amazon for a book about the butch/femme dynamic and I saw a book called “Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity” and I was struck by something a reviewer wrote. What she said that caught my attention was: “My femme friends who are also in their 30′s and I have discussed whether or not [...]