By guest blogger, Raye Many butches are not used to someone wanting them. It throws them off. You femmes don’t realize how rare a butch-loving femme really is. All you see is that you can’t find any butches and you notice all the femmes in competition with you for one. Oddly enough this is [...]
Tag Archives: butch/femme dynamic
A Young Butch
I just read a comment from a young reader and she asks for some advice on figuring out if she’s butch or not. As you all know, this is not a simple “Yes or No” answer. So I decided to dedicate an entire post to it. This way, in addition to me being able to [...]
Butch Voices LA 2010: Butch Fest!
Apparently my love for all things butch has gotten around. *Thank God!* And Butch Voices LA recently sent me an email about the following, upcoming events. This looks really cool and I’m about 100% sure there are going to be some smokin’ hot butches there, so any single femmes …. you might want to head [...]
Butch, Tomboi, Boi ????
So Remi and I have this ongoing discussion about how she’s the “butch” in the relationship … duhhhh ….. but she doesn’t identify as butch. I don’t get it. I think butch is less of a fashion statement and more of an attitude and a way you approach life. So instead of writing about it, [...]
Dear Femmes …
Written by Guest Butch, Raye It is easy for all of you gorgeous femme lesbians to say that we should gather the fortitude to approach you in the Wal-Mart. However, what you don’t understand is that we butchies endure constant blows to our egos everywhere we turn. The last thing we need to do for [...]
If You Write It, They Will Come
I was pleasantly surprised when not one, not two, but several butch writers responded to my call for the “Write Butch.” I have felt for a long time that there is not enough information, education and general acceptance of the butch dynamic here in LA and probably in other parts of the country as well. [...]
When you realize you’re a lesbian ….
I’m in a constant state of awe at my total lack of self-awareness as far as figuring out I was a lesbian. I mean really, how could I not have figured out I was gay before the age of 24!? I mean I could understand if I was bi. But I’m not. I’m just gay, [...]
Lesbian Housewives
I’m sure some of you have seen some of the comments a few readers have left me, indecent proposals I suppose. If I were single I’d be flattered, maybe a little worried since some of them have a bit of a stalker feel to them. But still flattering non the less. Let’s take a look [...]
Passive Butch vs. Aggressive Femme
I thought that when I started dating butch women that things would be easier, clearer in some ways. That perhaps some semblance of psuedo-gender roles might be in place, making it easier to navigate through the single scene if I knew who did what when. But no such luck. Not only does it not clarify [...]
Do you choose the femme identity or does it choose you?
I was looking on Amazon for a book about the butch/femme dynamic and I saw a book called “Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity” and I was struck by something a reviewer wrote. What she said that caught my attention was: “My femme friends who are also in their 30′s and I have discussed whether or not [...]