OK queer folk, this is just a friendly reminder and maybe more of a favor I’m asking of you. Can you please not use the comments section as your own private conversation lounge? I love a good debate, discussion and sharing of ideas. But when two or three people get off topic and just start talking/flirting with one another on a post, what happens is the comment count goes sky high. Pushing it up on the “Most Popular” posts sidebar. Which I like to try to keep legitimately for the posts that were actually the most helpful to readers so that newbies can easily find them.
But when you guys get carried away, it pushes other posts out of position. Now DO NOT OVERREACT to this. I am not mad at anyone.
I just want to encourage people to create a FB page or exchange IM’s or emails, or phone numbers, or letters or smoke signals. I don’t care what you do, but just don’t do it on here when it’s ONLY for your own personal hookups. I’m not trying to be a c*@% block, but I’m trying to be fair. I have touched on a related topic to this before on this old post.
You may have noticed a recent blog has been pulled because of this very reason. So please people, let’s be respectful of the public forum and keep it just that, PUBLIC. Not your own little chat room.
Let me reiterate: I not only encourage but LOVE it when you comment. PLEASE KEEP COMMENTING. But try to keep it somewhat related to the topic at hand so that when new readers come to the site, they can learn from you as well and know where to look.
Thank you everyone for understanding. Now go figure out a way to get lucky without CCL’s comment section 
….. I have faith in you.
I swear I have not been hooking up here! I am a guy!
Hehehe yes I say those words with only humor behind them. Keep up the great work and extending out the helping hand Sasha, a lot of have found immense support and a great advice here.
I’ve also noticed the tendency of some people to over comment on your site. If they like to write so much, my suggestion is to either start their own blog, or make it “public again.”
RJS Your comment was blantantly aimed at me and I am totally fine with that because yes there are “people” and I am definitely NOT the only one who, as you put it, over comments on here. NOT by a long-shot
. I am one of those over commenters because the topics are interesting, I love supporting Sasha and others in regards to the post, can relate to the topic at hand, this is one of the only places (if not the ONLY) where I can relate/share common ground topics that Sasha addresses etc. I do not need to give you reasons why I choose, like MANY other commenters/readers, to be an active member (meaning writing often) of CCL. However, RJS I know that you will be glad to know that from now forward, though I COMPLETELY admire and TOTALLY respect Sasha and I support Sasha beyond 100 percent for how amazing she is as a strong/honest/beautiful person, and passionate advocate and an incredible writer, I will not be commenting further on CCL. That will open lots of commenting space for you to step up and lend a supportive, encouraging, loving and kind “hand”/word of advice or encouragement to others in my place.
Oy! Did I touch a sore spot “Jazzy?” “LOL” as you so frequently write. I also noticed that you announced in 2010 that you were “through with commenting.” But you continued anyway.
RJS! That wasn’t very nice.
Jazzy, I did not want this. I didn’t want you to STOP all together!! I hope you will continue to be a valuable contributor to the CCL’s forum.
On another note, I believe I saw you mention that you might start your own blog?? If and when you do, please let me know so that I can add you to our blogroll!!! I think you would be an amazing blogger and have a wonderful voice and story that could help a lot of people out there.
SASHA- YOU GOT RID OF TWEENERS BECAUSE OF THAT?! WOW……This is a sad day in the lesbian world. Sasha, more than 80% of the comments on there were VERY legitimate and directly related to the topic, so why did you take it off all together? oh wait, is it that the in-between have no place on your page? because they aren’t a BUTCH factor or Femme factor?? or a point was raised that had never been talked about before? or because it reached top 3 and you realized you didn’t want it there?
AND you claim you don’t sensor and you don’t remove and and and?? I’m more disappointed than I am shocked. But you know what….true colors come out in the end. and YES the topic was more popular than your glass coffin and best places and confessions etc. was that too hard to swallow? since the topic wasn’t raised by you or you didn’t have much interest in it? WOW – DAMN – this HURTS.
Actually PE this is MY blog and recently I addressed the topic of censorship and told everyone that I was taking control of the website from now on.
But if you want to play this game, I didn’t actually censor the comments, I removed my own blog from the site. Which last I checked was self censorship. But I still have it on file, along with all the comments. So if inwanted to repost it simply to show how many of your comments had NOTHING to do with the topic I could. But I don’t feel the need.
As far as true colors coming out, I believe you just showed yours by your nasty comment to me. You have no idea how many private emails I get thanking me for touching on difficult topics and those popular blogs are made popular by readers, not by me. But I don’t have to defend mylf to you at all.
The tweeners blog was put up As a favor to you. I didn’t even have anything to write about the topic but allowed my personal blog to be used as a forum for YOUR request and you abused that.
I explained in this post why intook it down. I could have gone and deleted all the non essential comments and allowed the informative ones to stay. But then that would have censorship.
so instead in removed MY entire post.
Let me remind you that this is not free. I pay for the hosting, the design, the upkeep, the domain of this site. If you want to have a blog I encourage you to go pay for your own. I won’t feel the loss of you as a reader. In fact I feel that your energy is very negative and would apprecaite it if you found other blogs to be part of. There are a lot of wonderful lesbian blogs out there that may be a. Better fit for you. Bestnof luck.
persian- sasha has pointed out before that she hates to have censor ANY of her comments. it’s something she has been sooo totally against! i don’t know why you’re flippin’ out about the whole butch/femme thang? her VALID reasons for pulling the “tweeners” blog are clearly stated in THIS blog that you’ve decided to comment on. Sasha’s doing her part in trying to help people. if she wanted to host a dating site i’m sure could accomplish that. there are plenty of sites to get you “groove” on in the cybersphere.
even when people are debating it is still (usually) on topic with the original blog. and that is the idea of these blogs…to get different perspectives.
and seriously, Sasha being a comment whore?? i don’t think so! if she were so hung up on a friggin’ popularity contest i don’t think she’d have any guest writers at all. OR writing any advice columns. essentially, in those advice blogs the comments go to the person asking for advice…not really sasha. sasha has been known to thank people personally for their advice in those blogs and has even requested that other bloggers help those seeking advice.
Well then….
1) Jaz: I love your comments, and definitely do not want you to go! I totally understand where you’re coming from. CCL is very much a safe haven.
2) RJS: *Super* passive-aggressive. You couldn’t even have the clams to say her name in the first place while you insult her? Low. Jaz is a very sweet person- VERY sweet- and if that’s your main problem with her, and her only problem on here is you not liking her enthusiasm, I’d say she’s doing pretty damn well.
3) PeRsiaN EyeS: You are way off base. WAY, way off base.
“Sasha, more than 80% of the comments on there were VERY legitimate and directly related to the topic, so why did you take it off all together?” Seriously, maybe the first 20 comments, and a few sprinkled in between, however yes, the rest really were mainly your and Jaz talking to each other, back and forth.
Which is nice, but eventually it is off topic and alienating for other posters- it’s part of why Sasha said you two should exchange information: so you can e-mail each other back and forth. It’s not at all that she didn’t want you talking, so don’t take it that. She wanted things pertinent. Specifically about tweeners, which YES is ON TOPIC. But how many times can you rehash how hot a look is, without bringing anything new to the table? Think genre-specific blogs; they draw from a variety of topics and discuss something new each time. Even celebrity photograph blogs- they use a new photograph/caption/new story each time. How many times would you show up to see the same picture and caption of a celeb each time, every day? Eventually you’d want new pictures, you may even settle for a new caption. Eventually, you’d go elsewhere. (General, universal/plural you).
“But you know what….true colors come out in the end.”
This I agree with, but I think in this case of your colors not being as vibrant as Sasha’s colors. She was very diplomatic about it, and tried to address things in an adult and sensitive manner. You did not respond in kind.
“oh wait, is it that the in-between have no place on your page? because they aren’t a BUTCH factor or Femme factor?? or a point was raised that had never been talked about before? or because it reached top 3 and you realized you didn’t want it there?
AND you claim you don’t sensor and you don’t remove and and and?? I’m more disappointed than I am shocked. But you know what….true colors come out in the end. and YES the topic was more popular than your glass coffin and best places and confessions etc. was that too hard to swallow? since the topic wasn’t raised by you or you didn’t have much interest in it? WOW – DAMN – this HURTS.”
And I really have to ask: Let’s just *entertain* your theory that Sasha hypothetically didn’t want Tweeners to have more attention than her personal blog (which is bullshit, BTW, Sasha’s character is more solid than that). What makes YOU so damn important and entitled to have more attention than SASHA on HER blog. And I say YOU, because you’re the one who couldn’t let go of the topic of tweeners in the first place- serious obsession to the point where it seemed you were the one who sent in the question, and the monopolized the post about it.
I’m not sorry for my tone towards you. I consider Sasha a friend, just as many of us do, and friends don’t have to sweep away the bullshit all by themselves. You are out of line, and should apologize and/or be on your way.
Some people have class. Some people don’t. Persian Eyes is completely classless, and is antagonistic and angry, as well. Bumping threads so they stay near the top or to increase comment count is the oldest trick in the book, and definitely what PeE was doing. Jazmenha warned her early on in that comment thread that she would only respectfully use Sasha’s comments section as a way to help reach out to those who may be looking for a hand to hold, and that she would stay on topic. PeE ignored what Jazmenha said, and kept engaging her in small talk, and Jazmenha being the very nice person she is, felt obliged to respond. PeE is a nasty person all the way around. I wondered if in fact she was the person who originally emailed Sasha about the topic, and now it has been confirmed. The kind of mental/emotional instability that PeE exhibits cannot find help in the comments section of a blog. She needs to seek professional help for her issues. Perhaps she feels ultra butch one day and shaves her head, and then the next day her feminine side shows up and throws on a wig. When dominant personality traits split like that, it is not a mental illness in and of itself. However, learning to understand and how to cope with it and use it to your advantage is something that should be explored with professional guidance. A productive, normal and happy life can be developed with the right help.
Jazmenha, your contributions are valued here, so don’t stay away too long.
As far as RJS goes, what she said was mean and insensitive. It was like poking someone’s eye and saying “Oh, did I hit a sore spot?” You don’t have to be mean. If you don’t enjoy reading someone’s comments, then skip them. It’s simple.
As far as censorship goes, there is a broad line between censorship and spam control, and when you have an active blog like this, you have to stay on top of it, or the spam and spammers will wreck the place. PeE was a spammer, and Sasha was right to shut her down so the rest of us would continue to enjoy what Sasha has so painstakingly built. She offers this place and space to the lesbian community so there is a somewhere to go for answers. That Tweener post was fairly inconsequential, in fact, when Sasha said she pulled a blog because it got out of control, I honestly could not put my finger on which one was missing. It certainly stand stand out in my mind as a groundbreaker.
Sorry this happens, Sasha. You’ve always got my support. Despite all the meanies out there who occasionally show up here, this place is worth existing and you should be very proud of it and of yourself, as well.
xoxo
Damn, I always miss all the drama.
I am sure with this post I am hitting the over commenting realm but I wanted to say something to all of you from what for me feels like a not often shared perspective.
Sasha I understand your wishes with this blog and you are doing a great job sharing not only your experiences as a lesbian and the things you must go through but also you share a lot of info on bipolarism (not sure that is even a word). As a male coming here to learn, Sasha and also the rest of you ladies do a great thing by sharing your insights and your own situations. Yeah it gets very social in here but that factor is what drew me in and made me feel comfortable in coming out with info about me and why I am here. The only thing I see is a request for staying social on the issues discussed and solutions and I will try my best to do that on issues I feel I can say something about.
As a person wanting to learn I hope all of you continue to contribute because all of you have helped me learn something new and understand things I may never have the chance to otherwise. Keep all the great ideas and thoughts coming; I can testify that you all are helping.
Hi scribits,
And everyone ,…… PLEASE don’t start thinking I have this strict “over commenting” rule!!! I DON’T!!!!
Its fine when there is some socializing ….. It’s fine when there is a lot of socializing. But there is a line when, as Rexie said it becomes spam. On that ONE and ONLY blog I pulled for this reason had 95 comments but over 70 of them were things like “Oh you’re so funny.” …”what are you wearing?” shit like that. It had nothing to do with the topic or with general gay topics or even a larger social conversation that others could join in …..
Please understand me, I want the forum to continue as a place to discuss ideas, share, communicate and learn ….. But when someone spends days having a private, flirtatious conversation that is escalating ….. It’s just time to take it to private email. I’m happy you guys made am connection on here, I think that’s awesome. And a little get together is fine on here ….
Basically its like this. If CCL were like a club, I’m fine with you meeting here. Buying each other drinks, talking a bit. Even a little flirting. …. But don’t make out at the bar. Don’t start groping each other on the dance floor …. Be polite of the other dancers and go get a room down the street!
Right, so no orgies in the CCL clubhouse. Got it Sash!
I wasn’t planning on commenting but I just really need to clarify/clear the air-”What are you wearing?”???WTF??? It appears there were many comments that I did not read and this being one of them. I noticed lots of comments were posted in the roll on the blog the day you pulled it but I never went on and read them. Again Sasha I have nothing but respect and friendship love for you. Thanks for the kind and supportive words from you, Elegy and Rexie. I know you all understand my need to step back from CCL.
Yeah, it’s your life to live, Jaz! But you know that despite a few opinions to the contrary, you are seriously welcome here! Fam doesn’t always get along, but we’re still FAM!
I tend to think of the comments section in the same way as Sasha once blogged about. It had to do with having everyone over to her house for tea. I am sure the house detective, Elegy, can find the post for us. This is Sasha’s parlor, and it is where jokes, serious discussion and creative efforts come together. We should try to remember that and behave as if we were in her home. If there is a connection, there’s nothing wrong with exchanging numbers so the connecting can happen elsewhere. If you don’t want to put your real email address on a public board, just get an alias one and post it. If you’re lucky, you will generate lots of interest, and what is so bad about that?
Well, nevermind, Elegy. I guess it helps to actually click on hyperlinks. Sasha linked to the blog I was referring to right here in this post. Duh!
Yes I’m commenting again because shortly after this mess -almost ALL of which I had literally no idea what was even being refered to/written because I never read half of what was written to me- Sasha wrote me a beautiful and very kind, very thoughtful friendship email that I really appreciated. So yes I am back. Yes I will sometimes comment. Yes I will continue to use ” LOL” sometimes. And if someone has a problem with any of that well- to queot Sasha “ehhh…bite me”. Thank you Sasha. I am glad people like u exist in this crazy world.