Found this in my inbox:
1. What exactly is a Card Carrying Lesbian?
2. What are ALL the different types of lesbians?
I wasn’t even sure if this was a legitimate email asking for some advice or some guy being sarcastic. But I decided to go ahead and have a little fun with this. Please notice the word FUN. People tend to get their boyshorts in a bunch when I start labeling things. This is not meant to be any definitive log of all types of lesbians. This is merely a starting point of the types of lesbians that I am familiar with. Please feel free to add to this list in the comments section.
What is a Card Carrying Lesbian?
It is any woman that openly identifies as a lesbian. She is not bisexual, or bicurious, or currently married to a man. She is 100% lesbian. She can be femme, butch, androgynous, any type of lesbian! To be a member of the Card Carrying Lesbian tribe, she simply must declare herself one and then live a life of a proud dyke.
What are ALL the types of lesbians? Well I found this convenient little list over at The Lez Get Real site.
*my notes will be in pink*
Ten Types of Lesbian
#1
Dyke or Butch
A lesbian who dresses and behaves in a masculine fashion.
I don’t know about the dyke part. I ID as dyke. I think Dyke can refer to any and all lesbians. But I do think that butch lesbians get called dyke more often by ignorant a-holes. I like to reclaim that word though.
#2
Femme, Lipstick Lesbian, or Girly Girl
A lesbian who dresses and behaves in a feminine fashion.
Basically if a lesbian is always mistaken for a straight girl she is probably a femme.
#3
Futch
A lesbian who is both femme and butch.
This term confuses me. I think of a butch in the streets but a femme in the sheets. Yea? No? I dunno.
#4
Stone Butch
A lesbian who is strongly masculine in character and dress, who tops her partners sexually (and sometimes emotionally), and who does not wish to be touched genitally.
#5
Stone Femme
A lesbian who is femme, who is the receiver in sexual interactions, and who does not wish to be touched genitally.
Totally disagree with the last definition of this. Stone femme in my experience have been extremely sexual but do not always reciprocate. I know I wrote about this but couldn’t find it in the archives. Any die hard fans know which post I’m referring too? Stone femme to me, is a high femme that uses her sexuality as power play.
#6
Chapstick Lesbian
A soft butch — also known as a chapstick lesbian — is a woman who exhibits some stereotypical butch lesbian traits without fitting the masculine stereotype associated with butch lesbians.
Ellen is a perfect example of this.
#7
Baby Dyke
A young, inexperienced and/or boyish lesbian; also sometimes called a Baby Butch.
Baby Dyke is any type of lesbian that’s newly out. She can be 50 years old and fresh out of a lie of a marriage with 4 children and still be a baby dyke. It’s about the newness of the experience. Not the age or category.
#8
Tomboi
A submissive butch.
Um, NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Tomboi is more like chapstick lesbian. Remi identifies as a tomboi and she’s a top in every sense of the word. Basically this should have read: see chapstick or soft butch for definition.
#9
Lesbian Until Graduation
A woman experimenting with or adopting a temporary lesbian identity.
Been there done that. College lesbians. High school lesbians. Bleh, I just threw up in my mouth a little. These are usually the girls that fuck over real lesbians.
#10
Hasbian
A woman who has identified as a lesbian in the past but now identifies as heterosexual.
AKA an old version of #9
Thanks for answering my email!
Hi Shelby! Sorry I wasn’t sure if it was a serious email because it was so short! lol … hope this helps.
I always thought a stone femme was like A done Butch, but femme; and the girls that liked to receive but not give sexually were deemed “pillow princess”
Hm I think that a Futch is a tie between a femme and a butch.. she dresses somewhere in between etc.
You forgot the Golden Star Lesbians! ( lesbians who have never had sex with a man)
I’d define a futch as someone in between, kinda like me. Like I dress more like a guy but in a girlish way if that makes sense. I’ll tromp through the mud but do like my makeup to look nice. Halfsy. I used to just call myself a tomboy then I learned that in the lesbian social group, tomboi is a soft butch and that’s not really quite me.
I think “futch” is kind of like “fetch” in that people need to stop trying to make it happen!
…so then which is me? I love skirts and heels and lipstick, yet I am far more aroused about pleasuring my partner than receiving it myself, almost to the point of not really wanting to be “underneath”. Welp, I’m lost.
@Rexie
Nice Mean Girls reference
This is ridiculous. There are no ‘types of lesbian’. If you don’t fit into any of these stereotypes does that make you less homosexual? Of course it doesn’t. By people reiterating the idea that lesbians can be categorised just encourages people to stereotype individuals, and also to construct their identities around them and lose their sense of identity.
I do not fit into any of these categories, and I am glad that I don’t.
Even most LGBT communities are based on stereotypes, therefore excluding those who do not fit the bill, which is kind of counterproductive for a group of people who strongly claim to be fighting for equality, don’t you think?
It’s like asking somebody ‘what are the different types of straight people’? I do not see myself as being any different to people who identity as being of another sexual orientation, and that is because I am not.
The fact that a lesbian can be so narrow-minded as to classify a group of people like this will just increase the idea that people are not gay unless they conform.
I am glad that I do not, and I’m fed up of seeing individuals striving to hard to fit into pre-determined categories.
One of the most annoying things I’ve ever read. Perhaps you should think about how stupid your blog is and how it gives off the wrong impression and actually write things that offer insight.
Was it really necessary, “Anon,” to slam Sasha’s site? You could’ve made your point, without putting her down. BTW: You obviously haven’t read much of her writing. She’s all about “insight.”
That’s beyond rude. I’m tired of the lack of etiquette on the internet especially on someone’s personal blog….to come here and hide behind your username and take the time to insult someone’s opinion. What’s the point?
It’s one thing to have a differing opinion but to call someone stupid is low. Learn how to debate the subject at hand & not bring people down. If you don’t like what you read, go make your own blog.
Dear anon,
I clearly said this was nothing more then fun, not meant to be an exhaustive study on the lesbian culture. It was a quick little post in response to an email. If you google “types of lesbians” you will see that many many many blogs have these types of lists. I disagreed with the definition of several from the site I grabbed this from. Yet, I still found it interesting to see how people define the same word differently. I was not insulted or infuriated when I found out others might define a label slightly different then I do. It’s just all a learning process. And I never take myself too seriously.
And thank you Ricki and Lisa. <3
Errrrrr, head’s up here. I can understand not personally wanting to be labeled, and I can understand being frustrated by wanting a label, but not having one fit you. However there is precedent for marginalized communities having labels, and I don’t think that in and of itself is
Straight people don’t have all these categories and types because they’re not marginalized. There is no such thing as the systematic oppression of straight people for being straight, so they’ve had no reason to create markers by degree of straightness.
I mean, there’s a lot of points being missed, and I could go through it line by line, but I understand that you’re frustrated and venting and doubt you’ll come back to this so I’ll just summarize: a marginalized group of people (in this case, lesbians) coming together to point out the group markers within THEIR group (only lesbians) does not negate or contradict equality.
I’ve been reading CCL since I was a 26 yr old baby dyke! Lolrsonally I liked it.. here are some other types you may hear, especially down south or in the African American community.
Stud-synonym for butch. Mainly a strong masculine female who dresses in male identified clothing. Can also be called a hard stud, one who dominates in a relationship, very masculine, or soft stud more like a tomboy, masculine with a definite sweet side.n
Femme- your normal girly girl
AG- Short for aggressive. Usually a femme type woman who dominates in a relationship, characterized by a strong demanding personality.
No Label- Hard to pick out in a crowd, usually they scrammble your gaydar. Once you have the courage to ask if they are a CCL member their response usually is “i don’t categorize myself, I’m just me (states their name here)” still leaving you clueless. So, that was a yes right?
Stem- A combo of a femme and a stud. One day she may blow you away hair down lipstick high heels and accessories then the next day hair braided or pulled back with a hat baggy jeans and T, with Timbalands. Basically stud one day and fem the next.
Studsband- a married stud
Again this is all for fun, no matter what, we hear these terms and these are just a few as I understand them!
Keep up the great work Sash!
This comment is for Cherry: I had to LOL at your comment to the site! Yes it is all in fun and the person who got their panties/boxers/boyshorts in a wad well dislike the FB page, stop reading and go start your own movement! *sticks tongue out* BOO! Yes, as an AA lesbian in the South, the terminology is different and interesting. You listed some I have never heard of–No Label…Studsband–I was dying over here!
I will say this: My experience as an AA lezzie has been fraught with difficulty and dissatisfaction in the south. The AA lesbian community is divided along very strict gender roles and if you are a “femme” who likes “studs” then woe to you if step out of that. I will date women of ANY race but I have yet to get anything other than a scared cat looks from women who are not AA here in Atlanta.
I sometimes can come off as a No Label or a Stem but I would say I am mostly AG because I will make the first move, I will rock swag, I will top and strap, open doors, pay for everything should I instinctively find that I am the more dominant personality in the relationship which has been the case every time except once (loved her btw!). I rock heels mostly, wouldn’t be caught dead without makeup or hoop earrings and I don’t wear lipstick. However, I have my “days” where a hat kicked to the side with chucks and a hoodie are my thing. When dating a stud this is a mofo problem as one girl put it. So I dress as a femme sometimes high femme “on purpose” when dating an AA woman if I want to continue to get laid.
LA, DC, NYC, Boston and SanFran you are calling my name right now! Rescue me!
#9 “lesbian until graduated”
This reminds me, theres one you missed–
#11 Spagetti.
Straight until hot n wet.
Got that from The L word