As a lot of you know, our wedding plans have been postponed. 
Not cancelled. Just postponed. I swear.
Part of me is totally bummed but the other part of me is responsible for the delay, so I figure I don’t have the right to be disappointed. Since it’s kind of my fault.
Let me start from the beginning. Since we already eloped last October. Yes, we eloped right after she proposed and our real anniversary is actually October 31 now. We kept it a secret from everyone for a while and then were vague with family and friends when we did come clean. Because we were afraid of taking away from an actual “wedding.” But alas, that all seemed to be for naught. But I digress.
After the romantic, elopement we fully planned on a big, blow out wedding. We even had a wedding date set and a never ending budget that seemed to expand daily. We had started out with a modest $10,000 budget for a tiny wedding. Then it exploded to a $40,000 all out wedding. Then we vacillated back and forth between what our image of a wedding was and what really fit our personalities.
The sad truth is, we really only have about 30 or so close, dear people in our lives that we know are truly happy for us and supportive of a gay marriage. So once we decided that the $40,000 was a bit excessive for 30 guests, we came back to the original idea of the simple, yet fun desert getaway, weekend wedding. Which as it stands will be our actual plan when we do it. Rent out a small boutique hotel for the weekend. Get married by the pool under the desert stars. Drink and dance the night away with our closest friends.
I also wanted this idea because I’m scared to death that if we do a big, over the top shin-dig that I’ll ruin it like I always do on important events. To be honest, any wedding no matter how small scares me. I can’t trust myself and the last day I want to be an emotional wreck, hiding under the bed for, would be my own wedding. Which is a HUGE reason why we eloped. Hoping that would take a big portion of the pressure off, and I’m sure it will.
Ughh, digression is the word of the day today. Sorry. Back on track.
Once we realized what wedding idea we were going to go with, we also realized that we had the money to pull it off. Like already sitting in our bank! Our dream, intimate wedding could be just a few months away! All we had to do was start making the arrangements.
But then we looked around our humble abode and realized that money could do so much. Was it stupid of us to spend that kind of money on a wedding, when a) we’re technically already married 2) we still have a long way to go with our house and 3) isn’t that a bit ghetto fabulous to rent out an entire hotel for a weekend when we still need to paint our house?!
So after we both carefully broached the topic (neither one of us wanting to hurt the other, by making them think we didn’t want a wedding) we were relieved to find out we had both been thinking the same thing! Maybe we should wait a bit and put that money where it’s needed first. Damn us sensible lesbians!
We don’t have an exact date yet but thought that it should be within the next few years. Which I realized was appropriate for what I always used to say. I used to joke about these big expensive weddings, that would end in divorce a year or so later. And say, maybe people should elope at first and wait and see if it lasts before spending a fortune on a wedding. Then it can be more like, “Yay! Congratulate us that we married the RIGHT person!”
So for now, the wedding is on hold, but when we do it, we’re going to do it exactly the way we want it. Even if that means a small, intimate wedding with a very selective guest list. If we’re going to have to wait a while, when we finally do get to have a wedding, we won’t be compromising on anything. And I’m over caring what people think about our wedding, I’ve come back to my senses and realize it’s really just about our love and not about making a political statement.
But in the mean time, expect a few blogs on house remodeling ideas. 
I’m sure there have got to be some lesbian contractors out there somewhere???
But u guys are married rt you all just didnt have a formal/big/elaborate wedding. Which is totally fine as it is all about the couple’s marriage union and love. Ok, hello OMG lesbian construction workers doing the labor and remodeling- girl how sexy is that- you better invite me over.
( I know u said contractor lol we all hear what we want to hear hehe)
Well I’m going to congratulate you anyways:-) I’ve never understood starting a marriage with a boatload of debt. I’d rather get the down payment on a house (or home improvemts if you have one already) than a fancy ring or wedding any day.
Dude, I’m going to tell you a little secret…my wife and I eloped in Italy almost 6 years ago and we have yet to have the actual wedding!! We intended to – then the wife wanted to wait until it was legal, then she was 7 months pregnant when it became legal, then Prop 8 happened. And so now, here we are, happily married and not really giving a fuck.
Once this Prop 8 bullshit is overturned, we’ll have a shindig, but mostly I just want a really bad-ass cake. Once you start your life together, and you realize that things like your home (and in our case, kids) take huge priority, well, it makes you get your priorities straight (which is the only thing straight about our household).
So, make your house into the home you want, and do the wedding thing when you’re good and ready. I promise it doesn’t make you any less married. It just makes you smarter than the average American.
i don’t know why my comments don’t go through on my laptop. i will try again. maybe, it’s a good thing since the last one was kinda lengthy
you gals just need to do whatever is right for YOU and only YOU. you meaning the both of YOU, of course! don’t worry about political statements, family members..or any other drama filled wedding day prep memories lol! y’all already eloped. hunny, just have a sweet little reception at your home if you want to. i’m seeing a breezy summer evening, soft white lights, wine, a long dinner table with colorful light food. oh woops..that might be my vision lol!!!
btw i sooo look forward to some remodeling blogs! lots of pictures please!!!!
I totally understand the postponing thing. My soon to be wife and I were scheduled for October 29th of this year, and unfortunately I lost my job. We had half the payment for the photog already done, and the deposit on the venue, which is an old theater that’s been turned into a party venue. Still has the theater seating. Sorry I tend to ramble!
Anyways, we have postponed twice now, all the way till December 1st of next year, in hopes that it will be legal and prop 8 will be overturned. Tara (my fiance) wants to elope to Vegas. I can’t do that to my family, and our friends who have totally been there for us. I hope everything works out for you two! It’s refreshing to see a normal couple.