As a lot of you know, our wedding plans have been postponed.
Not cancelled. Just postponed. I swear.
Part of me is totally bummed but the other part of me is responsible for the delay, so I figure I don’t have the right to be disappointed. Since it’s kind of my fault.
Let me start from the beginning. Since we already eloped last October. Yes, we eloped right after she proposed and our real anniversary is actually October 31 now. We kept it a secret from everyone for a while and then were vague with family and friends when we did come clean. Because we were afraid of taking away from an actual “wedding.” But alas, that all seemed to be for naught. But I digress.
After the romantic, elopement we fully planned on a big, blow out wedding. We even had a wedding date set and a never ending budget that seemed to expand daily. We had started out with a modest $10,000 budget for a tiny wedding. Then it exploded to a $40,000 all out wedding. Then we vacillated back and forth between what our image of a wedding was and what really fit our personalities.
The sad truth is, we really only have about 30 or so close, dear people in our lives that we know are truly happy for us and supportive of a gay marriage. So once we decided that the $40,000 was a bit excessive for 30 guests, we came back to the original idea of the simple, yet fun desert getaway, weekend wedding. Which as it stands will be our actual plan when we do it. Rent out a small boutique hotel for the weekend. Get married by the pool under the desert stars. Drink and dance the night away with our closest friends.
I also wanted this idea because I’m scared to death that if we do a big, over the top shin-dig that I’ll ruin it like I always do on important events. To be honest, any wedding no matter how small scares me. I can’t trust myself and the last day I want to be an emotional wreck, hiding under the bed for, would be my own wedding. Which is a HUGE reason why we eloped. Hoping that would take a big portion of the pressure off, and I’m sure it will.
Ughh, digression is the word of the day today. Sorry. Back on track.
Once we realized what wedding idea we were going to go with, we also realized that we had the money to pull it off. Like already sitting in our bank! Our dream, intimate wedding could be just a few months away! All we had to do was start making the arrangements.
But then we looked around our humble abode and realized that money could do so much. Was it stupid of us to spend that kind of money on a wedding, when a) we’re technically already married 2) we still have a long way to go with our house and 3) isn’t that a bit ghetto fabulous to rent out an entire hotel for a weekend when we still need to paint our house?!
So after we both carefully broached the topic (neither one of us wanting to hurt the other, by making them think we didn’t want a wedding) we were relieved to find out we had both been thinking the same thing! Maybe we should wait a bit and put that money where it’s needed first. Damn us sensible lesbians!
We don’t have an exact date yet but thought that it should be within the next few years. Which I realized was appropriate for what I always used to say. I used to joke about these big expensive weddings, that would end in divorce a year or so later. And say, maybe people should elope at first and wait and see if it lasts before spending a fortune on a wedding. Then it can be more like, “Yay! Congratulate us that we married the RIGHT person!”
So for now, the wedding is on hold, but when we do it, we’re going to do it exactly the way we want it. Even if that means a small, intimate wedding with a very selective guest list. If we’re going to have to wait a while, when we finally do get to have a wedding, we won’t be compromising on anything. And I’m over caring what people think about our wedding, I’ve come back to my senses and realize it’s really just about our love and not about making a political statement.
But in the mean time, expect a few blogs on house remodeling ideas. I’m sure there have got to be some lesbian contractors out there somewhere???